Age Difference: The First of Many Questions

[zentisnusspli]

Would the average 23 year-old woman (twenty-four in less than three months) give a second thought to dating someone who just turned 31.? I suspect this isn't a problem with her, but my intuition isn't foolproof.

To give you some background to us. We are both graduate students at our university, which is how we know one another. She's someone who people have always suspect of being much older than she is, and I am just the opposite. I've always looked several years young than I actually am. We've know each other for about three months. But we've grow quite close over the last six weeks. I know I've grown to like her quite a bit, and I suspect she has done the same towards me. Nevertheless, I feel like we are at a critical cusp of either become just great friends or something more. Occasionally, she reminds my of our age difference, usually in playful reminders of how I'm from a different generation. Should I really let that affect me?

[girl68]

I met my finace when I was 22 he was 29. So I guess the answer is yes, but there's got to be interest from both sides!

[Kaius]

That's not a huge difference when you are over 21. It's a HUGE difference if you were in your teens.
If you have common interests and connections, then it's cool. The exception is if he has been married before and/or has kids.
When a young woman dates a more "experienced" man, the baggage can potentially widen the communication gap. I've seen it
way too often.

[sarahprincess]

If you act younger and she acts older, your ages kind of even out anyway ;P. But no, age doesnt matter so much anymore when you get past a certain age. So I'd say your good.
Oh and dont forget, some gals like older men!

[xxazurexx]

When people say age difference, I tend to think 15, 20, 25+ years difference - not just several years.

[MikeL]

I'm talking to a girl who is 6 years younger then me.. (well will be tomorrow on my b-day) I told myself I'd never date anyone more then 3 years younger... I don't want to get my hopes up or anything but this potential relationship seems like it might go someplace Only thing I worry about is the left over "teen silliness"

[girl68]

Depends how old she is. 15 and 23 NO.

25 and 33 not big deal.

[MikeL]

was that directed to me? I'm guessing it is.. she's 20 and I will be 26 tomorrow.

[Nimrod44]

23 and 31 isn't much of a gap. However at those ages you could both be looking for very different relationships.

Most of the guys I've known have had a tough time entering their 30's. It's at that age that many start to really take their career goals, relationships and family life seriously. They have passed a milestone, no longer in their 20's (and closer to College age). If they don't have a SO &/or family this is when many guys start to think about this. You may be one of them.

Gals in their early 20's are often still exploring what and who they want to be. That can include going through several relationships, even moves before they may want a serious relationship.

I think you are both on the right track though by building a friendly and trusting relationship. Keep doing what you are now. Don't ask for anything more right now with the Holidays coming up. The stress and other plans at this time could really mess things up. Once you both are back at school in January begin to talk about relationships in general. Get a feeling for what she has been through and may be looking for now.

[Confused81]

I'm 29 and my partner is 38, we don't have any dramas with that at all. He does look older though. looks like he could be mid to late 40's and I look younger (22 or 23 so i've been told) so we do get some funny looks sometimes, especially when we go out to pubs or clubs together. But it's never an issue.

I do give him greif about being nearly 40, about him starting his first job when I was 6 years old, him finishing school in the late 80's and me in the late 90's etc etc. It's all in good fun though. never serious.

I'd say the only thing you have may need to think about is the fact that she is only 23. If shes really mature and grown up and done her partying then all well and good but if she's not ready to grow up yet then it may not be a serious relationship. I wasn't ready to grow up until about 2 years ago or so. I got married at 21 an was divorced by 23... I thought I was ready but I wasn't.