Is he an ex yet?

[DLArmstrong]

I've been seeing a woman. We've been friends for some years, and recently she let me know she wanted to start dating. She's so fun to be with and I don't want to intrude into her private life. What's bothering me is, her last boyfriend doesn't seem to be an ex...yet. She asked me not to text or call yesterday while she was at his house visiting her Son. She said she didn't want him to know about me, because he is very controling and it would cause trouble for her.

Ok, having said that, my position is, I'm going to give her all the space she needs to breathe in, but at the same time I don't want to be a "back door man". Any advise?

[Take2]

I wouldn't think that her asking you to help her keep her new relationship quiet for now around her ex is reason to doubt he is an ex. Some guys (and gals) don't react well to their exes beginning to date other people. And it would not be ideal for this woman's son to have to deal with his dad going ballistic during mom't visitation.

Is there any other reason you are doubtful?

[DLArmstrong]

Thank you...that's good advise.

[Boisdevie]

Give her some time. My GF has two kids. She was worried about introducing me to the kids because her ex (the father of her kids) would have probably given her hassle about it. We've been together 2 months and only last week was I introduced to the kids as a 'friend' - you have to be patient. If it's causing you trouble then talk about it.

[xxazurexx]

Yeah he's probably a jerk who tells her not to see other men or she won't see her son, etc, etc and she's merely trying to keep the peace.

[megxox]

Nobody really wants to see their ex with another person, her ex might be the controlling type. Maybe try to talk to her about it.