Confused about ex girlfriend

[RunningRioter]

So I dated a girl from nearly 3 years. I went to college and things started to fall apart so she dumped me last spring. It was pretty rough, but it was a clean break, no talking or hanging out after. Seven months went by and we texted maybe 2 times, just a few messages asking how the other was doing. Since then, we have both been in another relationships. After I break up with my new girlfriend, I get a call two days later from her saying that she is in the town where I go to college and wants to meet up. I went in with a horrible attitude but it actually ended up being a great time and we talked for over an hour, when she informed me that she had also just broken up with her new boyfriend. It has been about six weeks since and she texts me anywhere from 3 to 5 times a week and we have met up for coffee 3 times. It really seems like she is into me, hardcore flirting, reminiscing about our relationship, telling me how much she misses my family and other things we used to do together, etc.. Also, she has told me that she has went on one date with another kid that she likes but is unsure if she wants to date him because he is a big partier (something she was never into). At first I thought all she wanted to be was friends, but she talks to me a lot for just wanted to be friends, especially after barely talking at all for seven months, and I don't know what to think about her telling me about his other kid.

I don't know that I want to date her but I don't know how long this can keep up, talking so much and meeting up every now and then.

Sorry for the long write up, any opinions are appreciated.

[reeba]

dont ask us. ask yourself what you want. then ask her.

beware of the 'rebound' and beware of 'break up sex' and beware of 'i'm just confortable around you and just want to be friends'. i'm an advocate of the clean break except in a few rare instances. the above three things are just dragging things out and preventing you from getting into a healthy relationship with someone else.

[megxox]

Speaking as someone who's been the victim of just break up sex, and just rebound sex, seeing an ex is very dangerous territory. I think regardless of how the break up went, there will still be feelings there for at least one person, and it's very easy to hurt those feelings. You need to ask her straight up what's going on. There's no point in just guessing and then getting hurt in the end. If you're okay with just break up sex, and she's okay with it, then go for it. But don't kid yourself if you're not okay with what's going on.

[RunningRioter]

Thank you both for the replies. It was by all means a clean break. Like I said, we talked maybe only 2 times in the 7 months apart and that time she called me completely shocked me. The fact that everything has gone so well tells me there still is something there. There is no break up sex. I'm afraid to confront her straight up about the issue because I think that may end our talking right then and there.

I'm ok if we don't get back together, but I want to at least see this through.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If confronting her straight up is going to end your talking right then and there, then she wasn't looking for anything serious to begin with. If she really does want to get back together, she may want to move slower but she'll at least communicate that to you, not just stop talking to you altogether. Either way, I say you don't get too emotionally invested and you be the one that treats her as just sex until you decide you want something more or she pushes the issue. Just keep seeing other women so you don't get too attached to quickly.

[RunningRioter]

That's great advice thanks. I only say that confronting her would end it because if anything is going to happen here, it's going be a slow process and take a while. I'm in no hurry to date her or anyone else so I'm fine with that.

[xxazurexx]

I think that just because they all of a sudden talk and talk more, isn't an indicator they want more.

I have an ex who called me all the time and constantly for 2 years....more than once a day and for over an hour on phone at a time - didn't want me back though. He just liked to hear the sound of his own voice I think.

If you wanna know where you stand, ask her. You never know, she could be awaiting you asking her to try again.