Is it me, or her?

[jakobeewitz]

I am in need of desperate help. I have a girl that I have known for years, been with since January. I love her with everything I know of love. She loves me too, I know it, she says it. However, she has tried breaking up with me 3 times in the past, and last night was the fourth. She says that I am not prioritize enough and need to work on my communication skills. I have been, and think I am doing an OK job on it, maybe not perfect, but a hell of a lot better than I used to be. She may think I lie to her, but in fact I don't. I have no reason to. Why would I lie to the woman I love? Maybe I have told a few white lies in the very begining, but I definitely lived and learned from that since it was the first time she attempted to break up with me.
Lately, since I moved to my new house, I have been having problems with my cell phone where it just won't ring, and I believe she thinks that I am not answering or turning it off on purpose. Damn Sprint, they suck. Two days ago, I was busy with work at home, and I was patiently waiting for her call back. I thought my phone was froze, so I turned it off, and forgot to turn it back on. I left to go to the store, which she know about, meanwhile, she finally attempted to call back, my house and cell. I then realized it was off, and when I turned it back on, I get a text stating, "I am done, I tried calling 10 times, both numbers. Good luck trying to call me back." And I haven't talked to her since after numerous attempts. The only response from her that I have gotten is, "It would be better if you stayed out of my life. I don't want you there by me only here n there, tired and overworked. Please respect my decision."
Now I do work a full time and part time job, and recently bout a 2 flat and am in process of getting it rehabbed, I am doing the electrical work. My life is busy and hard right now, but I've told her to please just wait it out, I just need to get a little congestion out of my life. I am planning on finishing the house, renting it out, and quitting a job. However, in the meantime, I am constantly tired, and busy with things. But whatever time I have, I spend it with her. That's all I really want, but I'm stuck right now!
I haven't responded or even attempted to call since that text, and need some further advice. I am not about to give up on her because, here's the kicker, she is 3 months pregnant with my child. I am not ready to let her go over my stupid mistake of not turning my phone back on. I will not let this child grow up without a father. I do not want her to go through this whole pregnancy alone, she is scared to death of it. I have dreams of us just being a family, and growing old together.
My only resolution is this: tomorrow after work, I will go over to her house (since she won't pick up the phone), and wait for her to get there. Then I will have a casual conversation with her about us, and me. I do not want her to stress, so I won't yell, even though I have only yelled at her one time in our history. I will make the conversation about how I am going to fix myself, then pray for her to give us another shot when I am not so busy. I can be done with my house in 2-3 weeks, and my part time job takes a 3-4 week break every year, starting in 3 weeks. Does this sound feasible?
Am I really that messed up? Can I fix this? Is it anything with her hormones at this point in time? Is it that she is 7 years older than me?

Please help me, I am devastated.

[ecojeanne]

she is being a bitch, but she is allowed to be since she is preggers and hormones will be affecting her and the stress of being pregnant also. you will have to put up with a lot more of these mood swings. the best thing you can do is be patient. wait for a while maybe a couple of days to let her miss you a bit. then if she doesn;t contact you either in a normal mood or bad mood, it doesn't matter which then you should contact her. just give her a bit of a cooler.

[jakobeewitz]

I really hope you are right. But every time this happens, i am heartbroken, and can't concentrate on work or whatever. The problem is that I am scared she will never call. She is a very independent woman, and when ever she has a problem, she won't ask ANYONE for help. If we have an issue, it stays with her. She won't talk about it to me, to her best friend, or even her mother. It's just the way she is, and I think it is very bad.
I don't know if I can even wait a few days... I think tomorrow night's plan will have to stick. Unless someone else think's I should wait longer. But if I wait longer, I will be into my weekend, where I am busy 18 hours out of the day...
God help me.

[ecojeanne]

well i just think you need your dignity too.

[jakobeewitz]

what do you mean by that?

[sweetkissesforu]

Dont forget the flowers and maybe a date sounds like you to need time together she is important not material things feeling especially as homonal as she is at this time

[sweetkissesforu]

she is being a bitch, but she is allowed to be since she is preggers and hormones will be affecting her and the stress of being pregnant also. you will have to put up with a lot more of these mood swings. the best thing you can do is be patient. wait for a while maybe a couple of days to let her miss you a bit. then if she doesn;t contact you either in a normal mood or bad mood, it doesn't matter which then you should contact her. just give her a bit of a cooler.

like i told him to bring the flowers always helps

[sweetkissesforu]

well i just think you need your dignity too.

and live love and laugh

[ecojeanne]

as in you need to feel good about yourself and not be subjected to a lot of constant disrespect. you need a break from this barrage (bombardment) of bad feelings directed at you for her insecurities (which is normal for her to feel).

[jakobeewitz]

Well thanks for all the advice. I have bought her flowers biweekly since we have been together. I don't feel as though I'm being disrespected.... that's the thing. I feel as though I'm always disrespecting her in every way. I'm down for dates all the time, its just the time factor. She works too, so my days off, she's usually working also. And me being materialistic is actually a goal I had before dating her, and that was to get a house. Now I have, and I have to fix it and secure it financially.
You guys are giving me faith in this, however I am a pessimist, and don't feel as though it will work... I just don't know how she can bear to leave me 3 months into pregnancy even though she loves me... I'm supposed to pick up a package tomorrow, but she wants me to do it while she's not there....

[MerryH]

"It would be better if you stayed out of my life. I don't want you there by me only here n there, tired and overworked. Please respect my decision."

She wasn't playing around there. When someone tells you this, you have to stay the **** away. Seriously. If you don't, the next step is a restraining order. Especially if you do this:

tomorrow after work, I will go over to her house (since she won't pick up the phone), and wait for her to get there.

DO NOT DO THIS.

[YouAreBeautiful]

Let me tell you I sympathized with you from the moment you said spring. There service is absolutely terrible! White lies in the beginning are very damaging to a relationship. If the relationship is not built on trust then I totally understand her feelings even though I sympathize with your predicament. You are completely busy, but it sounds like you are trying. If you want to please her you may want to be the bigger man right now and give her a little more communication. And yes, hormones are always a problem for women. It doesn't go away. Especially being pregnant. However, I have to say she doesn't sound totally irrational. Despite being pregnant it doesn't sound out of control.

[reeba]

the BIG question is was she like this BEFORE the pregnancy. i bet she was. hormones dont turn a sweet girl into a raving bitch. they turn a mild bitch into a raving bitch.

ignore her and save your energy for the battle concerninng visitation/custody/child support. simply tell her u will stay out of her life if that is what SHE wants, but not the childs life, see ya in 6 months.

[jakobeewitz]

Let me get one thing straight. She was never a bitch. I think its just the fact that she has always been very independent, and she even said this last week, that one thing she is really scared of with this pregnancy is that she will have to be dependant.
I really don't like the reply about the restraining order, I don't think she would ever go that route. She hasn't asked for her keys back, nor has she tried to give mine back. Is that any sign of a possibility?
Does anyone have any input about me going over there tonight, and if I should, what should I say? Her mom has been staying with her, in town from Europe, but she doesn't speak any English beyond hi bye and thank you...

[girl68]

You *need* to make her a priority, finishing the house is NOT. Otherwise I agree with everything else said. You're a good guy but you have to understand she needs YOU during this time, saying you have a house to finish is not a legitimate excuse IMO.