urgent advice required....pls dont ask me to give up just help me understand

[kzaibii]

hey all

i need urgent advice from all of you regrading how to mend my relationship................
i have been into a LDR relationship ..............my guy has been amazing and we had a wonderful relationship .............. but he used to say that............ ur dumb .... "its always me who drives you and ask u to do things my way etc why u dont have any ideas" that was my first ever relationship and that too was LDR...... my guy had been having so many relationship and he always said i want sharp girls .... etc ..... anyway still it was great and wonderful.................
but an incident happned and a big fat lie he had told me about himself was revealed to me infront of his family........... it was a biggest shock to me ever.... and i was stunned , shocked to hear that...............felt cheated and betrayed........ and was tooo much angry.............. and infront of his family, when they all were blaming me that i trapped him, i brusted into anger and said few things which ultimately humiliated him ................ and then went away...... i was so hurt, numb , felt cheated and betrayed................... and He just sent me an email that thanx for ruining my life ...... i got brusted into tears and anger that it was him who cheated me and he said i ruined his life ...... since that day we kept exchanging email ..... i yelled, cried, fought and at the same time i never wanted to leave him...either ..... he kept replying" i hate u .... u humilated me infront my family ....u killed the guy u loved .... i dont want to keep any contact with u.... why don u just died".... but he kept replying to me always ...................
i always fought and then kept saying i want back..... he said he hates me..... but he never stopped replying either........ then i started having guilt that i really humiliated him............... but then i used to give him justifications which were true that i was shocked and stunned myself...........

anyway for the whole one year.............. the same abuses, anger fights and still asking him to come back to me give me one chance has been going on ......................... he kept abusing me and said i dont want any contact with u and whenever i told him i m tired..... he showed a little soft behvior and then he said i had given u many hints but u could nt grasp any of those and i wanted u to leave me alone for the time being and after my anger was over i would have gotton back to you..... now u have irritated me much but still ok although u have blown up many chances but still if u wa nt to try ......................ok tell me how u will work things out ...........................

this he had said after i relaized my mistakes( which were all those.......terrible mistakes mentioned in every article of "how to get ur back"...............i-e crying, whining, begging, pleading. arguing, being defensive" etc..... everything) but since now i have sincerly apologized.....................
and he says ok .............. try it ...............

now he daily comes online and responds to me saying that u wanted me to come online i m here .... now tell wat u will do??
i dnt want u to say in the end that i had nt given u any chance..... although i know u got nothing u are same dumb as u were ....i told him lets just chat and i m sure that its a slow process and eventually ur anger and resentment will wiped out( as he says he feels like killing me when he thinks abt that humiliation)...........................


let me paste last chat of ours and i need reply
ok

HE: look zaibii u wanted me to come online
cuz u wnated to try
so far
all crap
so whats next?>
me: me: but rite now ur in dat state of mind hay in which u get repulsive of everything and make it a metter of ur ego……….

HE: ok
then why dont u wait till ur guy whom u have killed with ur hands starts repsonding
then we will chat
how about that/'.
for me..
thats how m gonna be
always……that’s how u have made me….
And the way ur handling it now ………….. its seems out of question that I wud ever be the same guy again…

Me: plz just come online and stay intouch that’s only wat I want for the time being…be online and try to chat normal…
Can u do that pls??? u knw im 100% sure… that ur anger and stubbornness will be over but it wud be a slow process….and I m nt expecting that anything out of the world would happen and will change everything and u will be same old loving one.. neither have a magic wand…. I m trying to work on making situation normal … and trying to erase impacts of fights and yelling….U remember our early days?u said to me once k u figured out dat spark was there so u thot to give it a try…. And I m sure spark is still there
HE: ok so we are done for today????? Do u really have nothing to work things out??? how the hell ur really out of all ur ideas?? and u said u can do wonders???? and i dont have time to go through that process…..simple…………
And its nt the spark it’s the fire of anger and being annoyed and I m sorry…. then u need that ……magic wand…. when u have it… email me….zaibii i always knew… u got nothing… and ni even know that u have nothing u r same dumb as u were but atleast i dont want you to say this ever that I had nt given u any chance to work things out………..
Which by the way I have been giving many times already….. anyway….
And I cant have this neutral chat with u which u have asked me ……and before asking me to come online and making me chat with u …. U should work on wat u have to say and do to me….and if u have something show me magic….otherwise don’t waste ur time…..

Now that was our last chat ….. he daily comes online and talk to me …. And I have this hint that he wants me to make him want me again ….. he doesn’t want to leave either otherwise he would have done it earlier …. But now I don’t know wat shud I do to erase anger from his heart……in all these chats he keeps claming that he had loved me too much but I made him dead….
Now I need urgent advice…. Pls help

[smackie9]

Stop fighting period. Swallow your pride my dear because that is the reason for most of this fighting....you both won't back down. If he starts fighting sign off and walk away from the computer. You need a cooling down period where you both can think things over with a more clear mind.