checking phone logs?

[julygirl]

i thought about how to write this post, and decided to just make it a general question, then will fill in w/ more info if requested...

I am curious to know how others feel about this, what they believe to be right or not. If you are in a serious commited relationship, (not just dating) , and something seems suspicious to you, is it ok to check your partner's phone log?

my own thoughts are if it is not a chronic type thing, you know how some people are just jealous maniacs and want to check ur phone all the time? Im not talking about that..I am referring more to an isolated thing where something is suspicious for a reason, in that case I feel like you are making a investment being in the relationship so you have a right to know..

how do others feel?
thank you,..

[ammi00]

I do get your point about more types of jealousy, and even if I'm all for "respect your partner's privacy", if I would suspect something, I'd "investigate" further. Up to now (and I'm not the paranoic type), whenever my feelings have told me that something's up, I was right... that's why, on one side I'd recommend you to solve your problem (one way or another).
Can you be a bit more specific about your situation?

[Boisdevie]

If something seems 'wrong' then why not try to talk to them? Spying is not nice

[IncognitoSir]

Snooping has no justification.....if you're at a point where you're "suspicious" you need to have a serious talk. I hate to have my privacy invaded so I don't invade others, but if I thought something was up, I would bring it up!

[OkieDokie]

Well I snooped behind my wifes back, looking at the phone numbers she called online. This is a joint account that both of us have access to ( in fact I think its in my name), I just never really felt the need to see who she was calling/texting, I assume she doesn't check mine but I don't care even if she was/is. The reason I checked was this, 2 weeks prior she told me she thought she was falling out of love and had been flirting heavily with a coworker, but SAID wanted to work on our marriage and stop it with the other guy. Well she abruptly hung up the phone one day and was acting REALLY wierd when I walked into the house, said she was talking to her sister but I felt something was up. She wouldn't get off the phone if it was her sister first of all. I checked a couple days later and confirmed my feeling. She was talking the other guy and texts back and forth 20+ times a day, after saying she wanted to work out our marriage.

So personally I would do it if you feel your being lied to. I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but whatever, if I was the person and had nothing to hide I wouldn't care about showing the call list. I asked her who she was talking to a couple times before I looked, told her why I was asking and my feelings about it. I normally wouldn't do it and I wouldn't have even asked who she was talking to if 2 weeks prior she didn't tell me about her feelings and the other guy. When I confronted her about it I apologized for looking behind her back but that I knew something was up.