Decision making

[bert_how]

Here's the problem,i've been my girl 2years n still together im 20 this year and so is she. She doesn't have any close friend other than me,because all her friends doesn't like her way.The main point is everything i like about her accept one major thing,each conversation i have with her if there is a handicap in a situation that got to do with me or my family,she would just "poke"me every time i mention it


She's in control now but the way of her controlling is way strict than my mom=.=.let's just say she hasn't grown up,even in social networking,she doesn't allow me 2 socialize as she don't.im a hot temper guy,i advise her before to leave me alone if im angry,but she never listen.whatever i teach n advise her she just wouldn't listen.

[devonbrown]

I am not sure what you are asking? Are you trying to ask how to get her to conform to your wishes? Because that is not how a good relationship works. Relationships are about compromise, togetherness, and care. Perhaps you can elaborate on what you are looking to get advice about?

[bert_how]

ok here's the point, everything is fine in my relationship but what bother me the most is her attitude in life,she doesn't respect my life at all, she calls at least 5 times a day and its almost 1year already she done that.my friends n family got annoyed by that also,we're not living together but i meet her at least once a week.whenever anything she want,she really want it,if not she will end up crying like a baby.She doesn't give me space but rahter spending all the time with her.My question is weather to leave her or not because im not ready to leave but i want.

Sorry for the weak explanation

[quall]

Did you ever confront her with it?

[devonbrown]

I think you need to have a sit-down, serious discussion with her. It sounds like she is a very needy person and you are the opposite of that. Without clear and honest dialogue, those two personality types will continue to butt against each other. I hate advising people to have one of the "talks," but in this case it really seems necessary. Find some time, sit down with her, tell her what you like and want out of a relationship and let her tell you what she likes and wants out of a relationship. Go through things like amount of time spent together, number of phone calls, etc. Get into as much detail about what you like and what she likes as possible. Once that is all out there, see if there are any middle grounds, any compromises that can be reached on any given point. Once that is done, each of you think about whether you can live with the shared list and go from there.
Good luck!

[bert_how]

@quall yes i did and it didn't workout because she's too stubborn to listen to me

@devon I've try sitting down seriously talk to her but she always don't want to talk about it.I don't really have the freedom of my speech when i'm with her.I was thinking that how is she gonna face my family members as she dislike and accuse them all,not all family are perfect,its just how you live up with it.She calls me at least 5times a day if she's at home while 2times a day if we're studying.I've set a time which is every night before i sleep I'll call her.I spent more time with her family member than mine as my mom have scolded me since she complaining i spent less time with them.
As she owns a pet dog in her home,she commands me as if I'm her pet,the way she correct me is totally unacceptable.She never admit her wrongs but when i'm wrong,she will just"shoot"me with her words