Sex?

[GagaRoma]

7 months is a long long time before you have sex. And how can having sex spoil a relationship? Surely a serious relationship involves sex and you have to sexually compatible so it might be best to have sex and find out? Just get him over to your place, have some condoms handy and make a move on him.

I think he's concerned about harming the relationship because it's the first real relationship he's ever been in and he's worried that sex could potentially ruin everything.
All of his texts were like this (exact words, I slammed them all together though):
"Well, I just had to ask because I was assuming that I would have to bring it up sometime, so I just said it. But I don't want to do it unless neither of us would get hurt from it and most of all only if you're comfortable with it. And I am totally glad that you would be comfortable with it because if you weren't I would drop the subject immediately if you were the least bit unsure. I don't know a whole lot about this stuff but if you're okay with this I'll still be okay with it too. But I still think we should think about this though before we do anything. Yeah I really want to think about this for a while before we do anything because it is a really big step and I don't want to ruin this relationship because it's my first one and everything is going by really smoothly and good as it is. But I trust you and I'm always confortable with you. Since this relationship is going so great I really want to think about this before I decide that I'm at least ready for sex. I trust you and love you and always will. It's not only a mature way but also a very smart way too. And I really want to be careful because I don't know what sex would do to this relationship. I would hope for the best that it would only be good but you never know. As I was about to ask you I was thinking to myself 'I think it's running through her mind too' I actually wanted you really badly, like really badly... but I somewhat contained myself and I thought I should bring it up to see what you thought about it first. I personally want to wait and think about this for a bit."

I personally don't think it would ruin anything, I am sure of what I'd be comfortable with, but maybe he needs a little more time to think about it all.

Maybe he's also a bit anxious? Maybe I could try initiating it at some point but I also don't want it to be rushed. I especially wouldn't want him to regret anything after we would especially if it was a "heat of the moment" type of thing, even more so if he would still be unsure.

I actaully think it's really nice for young ones coming here and taking sex seriously. Especially when it's the first time. Good on both of you for being able to talk about this stuff. And good on you again for being careful, smart and taking it seriously.

Since its your first time it *could* affect your relationship if you let it. When I first hooked up with my now ex (first time for both of us) it did affect us. We had sex like 5 times a day, it was so exciting but there were times where I felt like that's all we were good for, that's all he wanted me for. It happned soooo much that I felt used. And he loved me a lot a lot. I never brought up my feelings though this is all in retrospect. Oh well. Be prepared for your feelings to become more intense. But if you have a solid realtionship all this is all okay if you're open and honest.

If he wants to wait, then wait! You do realize that you can do a heck of a lot of intimate acts without sex. Use your hands, mouth... just go with the flow and that probably means a few more months of solid fooling around. Just have fun in the meantime. Don't rush into sex you have years upon years to have sex.

I know there's a ton of intimate things to do without sex, which they all only intensify the urge to actually have sex, at least for me, but I am sure it does for him also. But if he does want to wait or is confused I respect that and I'd rather both of us be completely ready anyway because then we'd both truly enjoy it and I'd never rush him to do anything or want to make him feel uncomfortable like that.

[GagaRoma]

Oh, and for whoever was assuming I was younger, I am also not 15 years old, I am 18.

[girl68]

I think you're smart.

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP TEXTING.

Learn now to have a conversation in person face to face. No MSN, no FB chat, not phones, IN PERSON. Just tell him the relationship probably will change, but tell him who is to say it changes for the worse? Did he ever think it could bring you closer, help your relationship? Not destroy it? He's only looking from one angle; open his eyes.

Reassure him you're fine with the idea of having sex and moving forward. If he's not, that's fine you'll wait. Period end of story.

[ammi00]

18? Worse.

[GagaRoma]

1) How can you call someone stupid with out it being offensive?
2) Also, no idea what we are doing? I wasn't looking for that sort of sexual advice as in what I think you may be implying, but maybe it's the way I am interperating what you said, but whatever. It's not rocket science to know what to do when it comes to having sex and the physical act associated with it, so in that sense I am not naive or "stupid". I don't know in what regard you are refering to me as "stupid". I posted looking for opinions and insight on the situation.

[Junket]

Have outercourse.

Lube up your boobs or thighs and let him go to town.

Get good at jerking him off or sucking his dick.

There's lots of sex you can have without intercourse.

[GagaRoma]

We do plenty of that now already, and have been for months... It's just a matter of taking it to the next level.

[Junket]

We do plenty of that now already, and have been for months... It's just a matter of taking it to the next level.

Ah, but have you done anal yet?

Look, assuming you're both 18, you're both adults (legally), so if you want to go to town, go for it. Just don't put too much weight into the gesture. People change a lot between the ages of 18-22, and then even more from 22-30, assuming they've left college and gone into the real world.

Neither of you may imagine being with anyone else in the future, but you also can't imagine how you'll change either.

Just enjoy sex, and stay safe.

[Kama]

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 and a half months now. Our relationship is great, we've never had any problems and we are always happy together. We are both virgins and have never openly discussed having sex until recently...

Last Friday it got pretty intense when we were alone. He started touching me but it was definitely more passionate then it had ever been. At one point after that while we were laying together he said to me, "can I ask you a question?" and I said "of course, what?" and he said to me, "do you want to have sex with me?" and I told him that I had actually thought about it before and that I would. Not meaning necessarily at that moment but in general, yes. Then he talked about various ways that we could protect ourselves. But then as soon as I got home that night he later told me that he thought we should wait and think about this more. And then he told me how he only asked because he thought he would ask at some point anyway. But then the next day after that I felt like I should be honest about how I felt. I told him how Friday night I had the most intense feeling of desire and that I didn't know it was possible to want someone so badly. He then told me he wanted me too but that he contained himself and that we should wait and how he doesn't want to ruin our relationship by having sex because he doesn't know what effect it will have.

He keeps telling me how he wants to wait, and I respect that, but at the same time it confused me because it seems like he wants to so badly but he is saying we should wait? He wants us to think about it more and he said further on we could think about it and he wouldn't want either of us to regret anything.
When I'm with him it seems like he wants to have sex though. I couldn't imagine it hurting our relationship at this point but he doesn't want to risk that. But our relationship is solid and we are both serious/committed and loyal. I'm trying to figure out why he asked me if I wanted to if he doesn't want to or isn't ready yet, especially since after he asked he thought of ways we could do it and then totally went to the other extreme later that night by saying we should wait. He's never said anything about waiting for marriage. Could he just be anxious about having sex for the first time?*

When I was in the same state and did not want to have sex with my fiance for a long time, she got me turned on having hold my big penis. I could not ressist and flooded her cunt with zets of semen and then we continued makign love since then

[Boisdevie]

When I was in the same state and did not want to have sex with my fiance for a long time, she got me turned on having hold my big penis. I could not ressist and flooded her cunt with zets of semen and then we continued makign love since then

Thank you for sharing that with us - NOT

[GagaRoma]

It's so frustrating at times though. Yesterday I told him how in part of my dream from the night before I dreamt we had sex. All he said was that it sounded like a nice dream and that he's had dreams like that before too. I said it wasn't the first time I've had a dream like that with him and he said "well, I can never complain about dreams like that". So it's like the idea of it doesn't bother him. Then when I'm alone with him sometimes it's frustrating too. For example, last night we were laying down and he then lifted my shirt and started kissing my stomach. Then he grabbed my legs and pulled me closer and I was still laying down but he was on his knees. Then he put my legs so they were around his waist as I was laying down. It's like he puts me in suggestive positions and jokes about it, like last night he said "wouldn't it be funny if my dad walked in and we were like this?". Then the night before that when I was at his house while he was changing into his pajamas right before he put anything on he was in his boxers and he walked over to me. He went up to me and jokingly started dry humping me and he was like "Ooooh yeah! Oh yeah!" and then laughed and stopped. Then he said "my parents aren't home right now. We have the house to ourselves." But then he proceeded to put clothes on/change and after that point we layed down and watched a movie but nothing happened. I feel almost like I'm being teased. He says he wants to wait but acts like he wants to.

[Boisdevie]

How old is your BF? I ask the question because he sounds like a complete idiot. You want to make love with him (perfectly reasonably) and he's dry humping you? Sounds like he has a real problem. If he wanted you, like really wanted you then you would be making love right now.

[Ryan Heitzman]

I think they ("the young ones") are, oh well, stupid - without trying to offend them. Are we even allowed to give sexual related advices to minors?

I'm young. Does that mean I'm stupid and don't kniw what I'm talkin about?

[Junket]

I'm young. Does that mean I'm stupid and don't kniw what I'm talkin about?

Yes.

But it's not because you're young.

[Ryan Heitzman]

Yes.

But it's not because you're young.

I'm gonna pretend you never wrote that.