Sex?

**GagaRoma** · 14-12-10, 08:57 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 and a half months now. Our relationship is great, we've never had any problems and we are always happy together. We are both virgins and have never openly discussed having sex until recently...

Last Friday it got pretty intense when we were alone. He started touching me but it was definitely more passionate then it had ever been. At one point after that while we were laying together he said to me, "can I ask you a question?" and I said "of course, what?" and he said to me, "do you want to have sex with me?" and I told him that I had actually thought about it before and that I would. Not meaning necessarily at that moment but in general, yes. Then he talked about various ways that we could protect ourselves. But then as soon as I got home that night he later told me that he thought we should wait and think about this more. And then he told me how he only asked because he thought he would ask at some point anyway. But then the next day after that I felt like I should be honest about how I felt. I told him how Friday night I had the most intense feeling of desire and that I didn't know it was possible to want someone so badly. He then told me he wanted me too but that he contained himself and that we should wait and how he doesn't want to ruin our relationship by having sex because he doesn't know what effect it will have.

He keeps telling me how he wants to wait, and I respect that, but at the same time it confused me because it seems like he wants to so badly but he is saying we should wait? He wants us to think about it more and he said further on we could think about it and he wouldn't want either of us to regret anything.
When I'm with him it seems like he wants to have sex though. I couldn't imagine it hurting our relationship at this point but he doesn't want to risk that. But our relationship is solid and we are both serious/committed and loyal. I'm trying to figure out why he asked me if I wanted to if he doesn't want to or isn't ready yet, especially since after he asked he thought of ways we could do it and then totally went to the other extreme later that night by saying we should wait. He's never said anything about waiting for marriage. Could he just be anxious about having sex for the first time?*

**Junket** · 14-12-10, 09:03 AM

Of he course he wants to have sex with you, but he's hesitant to be the one to initiate because he doesn't want to feel like he's pressuring you.

**GagaRoma** · 14-12-10, 09:23 AM

But it almost seems as if he's anxious about it himself. As if he truly would want more time to think about it. Sunday he asked me if I wanted to go over to his house and I did. At one point when we were alone he said to me "I was thinking more about what we talked about and I'd rather wait.". But it's like how he acts contradicts what he says. He said he'd rather just go with the flow and see what happens. But he shouldn't feel like he's preassuring me, if anything I made it clear that I would be comfortable with that.

**blent** · 14-12-10, 09:54 AM

It's taken you 7 months to start talking about having sex? Your boyfriend is probably gay lol.

**Boisdevie** · 14-12-10, 02:59 PM

7 months is a long long time before you have sex. And how can having sex spoil a relationship? Surely a serious relationship involves sex and you have to sexually compatible so it might be best to have sex and find out? Just get him over to your place, have some condoms handy and make a move on him.

**ammi00** · 14-12-10, 04:37 PM

Probably they're too young...

**warriormaiden** · 15-12-10, 02:33 AM

^^ that's what I was thinking.

**girl68** · 15-12-10, 03:03 AM

I actaully think it's really nice for young ones coming here and taking sex seriously. Especially when it's the first time. Good on both of you for being able to talk about this stuff. And good on you again for being careful, smart and taking it seriously.

Since its your first time it *could* affect your relationship if you let it. When I first hooked up with my now ex (first time for both of us) it did affect us. We had sex like 5 times a day, it was so exciting but there were times where I felt like that's all we were good for, that's all he wanted me for. It happned soooo much that I felt used. And he loved me a lot a lot. I never brought up my feelings though this is all in retrospect. Oh well. Be prepared for your feelings to become more intense. But if you have a solid realtionship all this is all okay if you're open and honest.

If he wants to wait, then wait! You do realize that you can do a heck of a lot of intimate acts without sex. Use your hands, mouth... just go with the flow and that probably means a few more months of solid fooling around. Just have fun in the meantime. Don't rush into sex you have years upon years to have sex.

**ammi00** · 15-12-10, 05:15 AM

I think they ("the young ones") are, oh well, stupid - without trying to offend them. Are we even allowed to give sexual related advices to minors?

**girl68** · 15-12-10, 05:18 AM

You think it's stupid they're discussing sex? OKAY. I think you're stupid for assuming teenagers aren't gonna be talking, and or having sex. At least this one comes here trying to discuss it and perhaps be smart about deciding if it's the right time.

Side note: did I miss the age? I wonder how old?

**ammi00** · 15-12-10, 05:39 AM

Well, I'm wondering how old are they too. But what are you doing? Answering to your own questions? Can you even read? I didn't say they're stupid for talking about sex... they're STUPID because they have no idea what they're doing. Probably it's normal at their age, but this doesn't make them less "stupid". Just like the girl who was afraid of telling her "boyfriend" to spank her... how old can they be, 15? Meh...

**girl68** · 15-12-10, 05:46 AM

Can you type? You didn't specify either way... you just said they're stupid. If you'd like me to infer from that, don't blame me if I interpret it wrong.

**ammi00** · 15-12-10, 05:57 AM

"They" is a nominative pronoun. Period.
Gratedwasabi, weren't you supposed to tell me nice stories before I go to sleep, and video tape something else, hmmm?

**girl68** · 15-12-10, 06:12 AM

I'm not disputing "they" I'm saying your reason was unclear.

**Gratedwasabi** · 15-12-10, 06:12 AM

Gaga, I'm sure he's very nervous and anxious about it. It sounds like you two need to be more communicative about it; as in actually sit down and talk about why you do want to have sex and why you don't, how you/he feels it could harm the relationship (which assuming you are careful and take your time so you're both comfortable it should NOT,) and whether you both feel ready for it and know what it'll be like. You need to sit down and have that conversation in person at one time. Don't say something here, something there, talk about it.

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