Is he playing a game with me?

[califitgirl86]

Hello! So here is the situation. I am in a long distance relationship. I am living in the states and he is in Switzerland. I have gone to see him twice. Once in Australia for 2 months and another time in Switzerland for 3 months. We've known one another for about a year and half and have been serious for about 8 months of that time.I spent 3 months with him in Switzerland (august to November 23 of this year). Things were great however we did have are moments of struggle. The thing is that he feels like the 3 months should have been perfect for us to move on to the next step because our relationship is difficult given the distance. So I have been back for 3 weeks or so now, and since I have been back it has been an emotional roller coaster with him. He says things like I don't think we should talk everyday because it makes me sad that we are apart, so I try to honor his request and not call or message him, but when I do he instead sends me an email or message saying do you want to talk or he will say I was hoping to be able to talk to you. Then we discussed him coming to California so that he can see if he wants to give this another shot, but then he says I 58% sure I want to come to California( it was his idea to come to California by the way) I said to him you know you either want to come or not. You either want to be with me or not. I just feel so confused and I am not sure how to handle all of this back and forth. I just don't know what I am suppose to do because he is a great guy all in all. I just feel like he is playing this game and wants me to suffer. He says we are still committed but he is unsure about whether I am the woman he wants. I have cried so many times over this and I feel helpless because I don't think our fights were so bad to destroy are relationship. The thing is that he so demanding and at times it seems like he expects perfection. I don't say that I didn't do anything to perhaps create some doubt, but once again I don't think it enough to severe ties. To sum it up he basically says he wants to be with but he is unsure if he wants to be with me. What do you guys think?

[RockNRoll]

You are right, he either wants to visit you or not. Help him to see it as an action that might help to clarify things. It will be a visit, he doesn't need to move right now. He wants to be 100 % confident that it's a perfect relationship, because it would be a big step to move it forward. Perhaps he is playing mind games with himself, rather than playing with you.

[Boisdevie]

Can you not find someone who lives near to you - the distance will kill whatever relationship you have.

[quall]

Just an emotional type of guy, probably needing to be close to you and needs conformation that it'll be a long term relationship.
Some just have difficulties with being seperated long periods.

[vashti]

He says we are still committed but he is unsure about whether I am the woman he wants.

This pretty much says it all. He isn't sure about you, and long-distance can only be tolerated in a solid relationship, and even then, it must be time-limited.

My crystal ball says this isn't going to work out. Sorry.