Not happy about a statement

[black angels]

Hello.

Seems like a nice forum, so I'm looking forward to your advice.

I'm in a relationship (6 months) and my girfriend texted me that she had a dream where I cheated on her, so we texted some time about that since she was upset. In the course of the text exchange, she mentioned that she would never ever cheat on me; then later she said if she found out I cheated on her, she would be so furious that she'd go out that night and "make out with the first guy that she finds hot". (quote)

It made me feel bad, and I don't know why. Maybe because I always thought she'd be more of an adult than that, I don't know. I'm not worried she'd cheat on me, it's just that I don't like this statement. She says its because she'd never expect that from me and she'd be disappointed and furious and that the statement is only valid in the situation if I cheat, not if we have a fight or something.

What do you think?

[RdHrshyKss]

i think that statement makes her sound like a child.

[quall]

Revenge is WRONG in a relationship.
It's either forgiveness, or ditch the person.
That is what two options she should decide upon. NOT revenge.

[black angels]

Revenge is WRONG in a relationship.
It's either forgiveness, or ditch the person.
That is what two options she should decide upon. NOT revenge.

She wouldn't do that in a relationship. She'd ditch me (which is totally ok if I ever cheated on her) and THEN do that.

I don't get it.

[quall]

In that case ofcourse you don't like that if she says that, cause you love her (right?) and are exclusive to echother now.
So ofcourse it's hard to hear.
The thought of having your girlfriend making out with some stanger HAS to feel bad in the gut.
Same reason why she's upset about such a dream.
The thought feels a bit the same discomforting as the actual thing of being cheated upon cause you both are now exclusive to eachother.

Does that make any sense?

[Boisdevie]

So she had a dream and then goes all wierd? Ditch her - she sounds very unstable

[vashti]

Get a grip. She was discussing her dream, and a hypothetical situation. Why are you getting all psycho over it? If you don't want her making out with some other guy, then I suggest you not cheat, just like she said. (shrug)

[sweetkissesforu]

2 wrongs dont make it right and your gf needs to get over the jealousy

[girl68]

Yeah what's the big deal. If she wants to do the whole rebound thing by all means her choice.

[Sonrisa]

Get a grip. She was discussing her dream, and a hypothetical situation. Why are you getting all psycho over it? If you don't want her making out with some other guy, then I suggest you not cheat, just like she said. (shrug)

however, her conversation should've ended with: hey sweetie, i had a dream about you cheating on me, it was so disturbing and left me upset even after i woke up. PERIOD.

[smackie9]

Ah you guys are young and still learning about yourselves and relationships. Over time we develop tolerance to these insecure feelings.....it's called maturity. This kind of thing is going to come up every now and then. It's best to just ignore it, because this is how most react when they are falling in love and don't know how to handle it.

[IncognitoSir]

Get a grip. She was discussing her dream, and a hypothetical situation. Why are you getting all psycho over it? If you don't want her making out with some other guy, then I suggest you not cheat, just like she said. (shrug)

Why are you minimizing his concern over the situation? This entire hypothetical thing was created by her and it bothered her enough to go as far and discuss it and even describe her hypothetical response to it!I'd be mad, I mean wtf you didnt even do anything. If the shoe were on the other foot, I bet these responses would be a lot different.....smh

[vashti]

Why are you minimizing his concern over the situation? T

Because his concern is as ridiculous as hers.

BTW - what does "smh" mean?

[RdHrshyKss]

Because his concern is as ridiculous as hers.

BTW - what does "smh" mean?

i believe it means "shaking my head"

[devonbrown]

Her dream was because she is insecure in your relationship. Just try to reassure her that you haven't cheated on her, aren't cheating on her, and won't cheat on her. Keep reassuring her of that until she is able to regain some security. Obviously the dream upset her, so try to soothe her.
As for her statement, it was something that she said to try to scare you into not doing something. Like when a parent tells you not to make that face because it will freeze that way. Your face isn't going to freeze that way, your parents are just trying to scare you into not making that face. That's all she is doing. She isn't going to go make out with the first guy she sees is you cheat on her. But she wants to scare you enough that you won't cheat on her. Again, it is still the insecurity in the relationship.
The fact that you treated her dream and her desire to talk about it as serious shows that you care for her. Keep showing that care and concern and hopefully her insecurities will melt away.