Jealousy ruins my life.. :(

[hello1]

I am the same! except my boyfriend my first reationship so I was hoping that was the reason but I can understand how you are feeling. I used to drive myself crazy thinking of his past and now I am better with this (took year and a half) but I admit now I am worried that he may meet someone else, cheat etc but guess what so could I and that makes me feel better.

You shouldn't judge a man past, you have a past and at your age not many girls have a child etc so how can you judge? you just can't.

You have your child, you should be happy you have her. Men can come and go but he is not your be all and end all of life. We can all if we wanted too leave our partners and find a new love, its just the way life is. You need to stop being so scared, if he cheats its his lost and your move on. You should start thinking like this.

You are placing everything on him and thats why you are so insecure.

[JadenMia]

I know i have never been like this. I dont get mad about his past at all anymore either, that was a time i had found out he had slept with a friend of mine back in school and the way i found out was just quite embarrssing. I just had to come to terms with it and i totally didnt judge him for it.. It just kind of upset me back then. I dont really care about things like that anyway, he isnt my first relationship and i have never been like this with anybody so it is just so frustrating. We split up before.. And recently got back together. Since the, he has lied to me twice about stupid things and now i am completely paranoid whenever i am not with him. Its getting over the top and its just upsetting me that I am like this.
I realise that i am revolving my whole life around him. He will never come before my daughter, that is one thing. I am happy i have her, and i try not to worry about him.. But i cannot help it. I dont know, i am just super frustrated. I am trying to take myself out of the situation when i feel like this and today it helped.
Its just the paranoia, i dont know what the hell is going on with me, i am just kind of worried about myself. I could laugh when i think about it.. There has been a few examples lately that i have been CERTAIN, mean something.. A text from somebody, a comment, anything. That i have thought, woah, wait, and made up a stupid story in my mind that he was lying to me/ cheating. When i find out the truth behind what i was worried about.. I think 'wow, what was i actually thinking' lol.. Its just worrying me that i am being THIS paranoid. But, his lying lately has not helped one bit..

[hello1]

I am not saying put 100% trust in him. I personally would never trust a partner 100% and you should always keep an eye on things but you need get point where you need to think, if he cheats then that is his lost and I WILL meet someone else who really loves and respects me.

I think you are getting to that point, just keep at it. Keep your mind from running wild

[JadenMia]

Yeah, i think if it keeps going like this i am just going to get sick of it eventually and start to care less. I am the same way, i dont think anyone can trust a person 100% either. Thanks alot Im just going to keep my head high and work on keeping myself busy to stop myself going insane lol

[Elained]

Have you ever heard of Law of Attraction and the movie The Secret? A very interesting aspect of the Law of Attraction is that everyone and everythig around you is a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings. This means that you are completely in charge of your experience, all the ones you like and all teones you don't.

It may be too big a step to deal with insecurity and self worth directly, but you can take small steps by noticing the things that make you feel better. The more time you spend thinking about the things you like,the better you feel. Eventually, you can start looking at what you like about your partner. It is the things you like in others that are the things you like about yourself. Pay attention to what others show you about yourself. It life's magic mirror!1

[dhiemhie15]

yup jealousy is a devil's weapon to damage relationships!

[dhiemhie15]

just learn from your mistakes

[dhiemhie15]

Your like my girlfriend keeps jealous about every single girl that I speak with.

[dhiemhie15]

It happen in our first few months then we broke up and after a week we reunited.

[joycelynpark]

I can personally relate to some of the details you've posted about your jealousy issues. I used to be controlled by my envious emotions too, but once I found the root of the problem, I have improved significantly. For me, the root was that I wasn't comfortable and confident with myself and I continued to feel lost without a true identity. The first step, which you have taken, is recognizing the problem and wanting to change. Second is understanding your personality and loving who you are. I recommend reading about the enneagram; I recommend the book The Wisdom of the Enneagram. It helps you understand what makes you tick, what ticks you off, and can really be integrated to help you nurture your personality. In discovering who I am, it has helped me love and appreciate who I am and realize that my significant other appreciates who I am as well.

Also, it helps to put things in perspective at times. When you feel jealous, step back and try to think, "If he loves me, he won't do anything to hurt me. If he does, it is his mistake, and I am my own strong person." And of course, always take things with a grain of salt and SMILE a lot. I know this might sound cliche, but I hope it helps!

[CC2013]

Think about this for a minute. You mentioned you had a daughter, right? What kind of example do you want to set for her as a women dealing with men. If she hears you fighting with men because of thoughts you have in your head, how is she going to learn how to deal with the men that enter into her life. You have to realize that when you go through a pregnancy and deliver a human being, your whole life changes. Your thoughts change, your mood changes, your reactions change. So, maybe you need to spend sometime to yourself for awhile and look at your life now that you have added another life to it and figure out what you really want. What are your goals, dreams, and desires? What do you want for your little girl? Who do you want in your life..in her life? Your life is just beginning. Enjoy it! IF you feel like you need to talk to someone, seek out a good family therapist. Best Wishes to you and your family.

[Raj1974]

your jealousy comes from insecurity

[Beautyw6737]

I was wondering if you are on some sort of birth control? I know this is a random question, but I used to have a similar issue. Always jealous....It made me clingly, angry, and depressed. It would often feel like I was driving away my partner. I was aware I was acting like a crazy person, but I could not stop it.

After I stopped taking my birth control and monitoring my "hormonal" time of the month it made all of the difference. Along with caring about myself and feeling more confident, I was able to stop acting jealous in new relationships. It might have something to do with hormones. You feel completely helpless and out of control.

Just another idea. Remember if it ever did happen, then it was not meant to be. He does not deserve you if it does.. KEY word IF lol. Remember to enjoy the time you have, then you can be mad if it ever happens. Also think back to if you ever had issues with your own father and abandonment. Sometimes unresolved problems with your father can make it difficult to trust other men. Learn to forgive and acknowledge it if this is the case.

[JadenMia]

I was wondering if you are on some sort of birth control? I know this is a random question, but I used to have a similar issue. Always jealous....It made me clingly, angry, and depressed. It would often feel like I was driving away my partner. I was aware I was acting like a crazy person, but I could not stop it.

After I stopped taking my birth control and monitoring my "hormonal" time of the month it made all of the difference. Along with caring about myself and feeling more confident, I was able to stop acting jealous in new relationships. It might have something to do with hormones. You feel completely helpless and out of control.

Just another idea. Remember if it ever did happen, then it was not meant to be. He does not deserve you if it does.. KEY word IF lol. Remember to enjoy the time you have, then you can be mad if it ever happens. Also think back to if you ever had issues with your own father and abandonment. Sometimes unresolved problems with your father can make it difficult to trust other men. Learn to forgive and acknowledge it if this is the case.

Hey thanks for the advice, i wrote this such a long time ago i forgot about this post! I broke from this relationship, it turned out to be a very horrible relationship and now i understand why i felt so jealous about everything.. I think when i find a man who will treat me right then i wont have these silly illusions and wories about my partner ditching on me etc..
I was also on BC so it could have been a big problem, iv stopped it now and i do indeed feel alot better in myself and my hormones stay in check.
I do also have issues with my father too... Up until i was 16 i believe a man was my dad who i had lived with and loved my whole life.. But a man popped up on facebook and told me he was my real father. When i confronted my mother about it, the truth came out and it turns out this random man IS my dad.. rather than who i thought was..
It was like the ultimate betrayal for me, every one of my family member knew about it but me and i just felt so lost.. It was a long time ago now but i still feel that pain as if it was yesterday. I swore i would never trust anyone again since then, if my whole family who i am supposed to love and trust could lie to me that way, i just figured that everyone probably would.
I do need to go seek councelling for this i realise, i think i am going to my doctor to figure it out..
Thanks for the feedback

[Wakeup]

... And yet another shitty and life altering story from the bowels of Fvckfacebook! ...

I'm sorry that happened to you Jaden.