Jealousy ruins my life.. :(

[JadenMia]

... And yet another shitty and life altering story from the bowels of Fvckfacebook! ...

I'm sorry that happened to you Jaden.

No doubt eh! Facebook is honestly just a big cause for trouble, drama and bullshit. Ugh. Thanks though!

[IndiReloaded]

JadenMia, you've been here a few months now, so I'm going to start by saying I usually enjoy your posts.

But, this thread? Its completely ridiculous, like you've watched too many garbage tv sitcoms like Sex in the City or Friends. "You've had your fair share of heartbreaks"?? LOL. You are *20*, barely out of high school w/perhaps a year or two of college behind you. This 'jealousy that is ruining your life'? You are creating your own drama. Ref above about too much negative tv influence. Do yourself and those around you a favour: stop taking yourself so seriously. You don't even know what you don't know. You haven't even begun to live, much less ruin your life.

Try to find some larger goals for yourself. A larger perspective. The world is a much bigger place than you seem to realize. People with the kinds of issues you describe are extremely small-minded and I think you are better than this.

[IndiReloaded]

H
I do need to go seek councelling for this i realise, i think i am going to my doctor to figure it out..

I think based on your history this^ is an excellent suggestion. Its likely the reason you are focussed on the wrong type of things.

[JadenMia]

JadenMia, you've been here a few months now, so I'm going to start by saying I usually enjoy your posts.

But, this thread? Its completely ridiculous, like you've watched too many garbage tv sitcoms like Sex in the City or Friends. "You've had your fair share of heartbreaks"?? LOL. You are *20*, barely out of high school w/perhaps a year or two of college behind you. This 'jealousy that is ruining your life'? You are creating your own drama. Ref above about too much negative tv influence. Do yourself and those around you a favour: stop taking yourself so seriously. You don't even know what you don't know. You haven't even begun to live, much less ruin your life.

Try to find some larger goals for yourself. A larger perspective. The world is a much bigger place than you seem to realize. People with the kinds of issues you describe are extremely small-minded and I think you are better than this.

yeah, lol I know this. I remember it was quite a while ago that i posted this, id had a bad night, bad fight with the chap and i remember looking online to find this site and i asked about it because of things my boyfriend had been saying. Now i see that my boyfriend had a habit of making me feel down and insecure, as you have probably read i found out his true colours and i see a lot of what i was thinking and believing wasnt really reality..
I didnt mean heartbreak by love or anything. I have only had 2 relationships.. I meant other things really, i had a shitty upbringing, a few serious incidents in my life and for the record i dont watch TV either. lol

What i do realise what you have said though, is that when i was with my ex, i made him my entire life, i really didnt have a life outside of our relationship and thats the way he liked it. Since then, i have realised the world is my oyster, so to say, and i can do whatever i please and i can acheive anything i put my mind to. I tend to try not read these older posts because of how messed up i sound.. Like, im actually pretty proud at how far iv come since then... lol thanks though.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh my bad then. I didn't check the original post date. As for the shitty upbringing, sadly a lot of people have had such so its not really a valid excuse for anything. Frankly, once one is an adult most ppl don't give a crap. Kind of like the gov't, which expects you to pay your taxes no matter how bad your childhood was.

[JadenMia]

Oh no, i dont use my shitty upbringing for an excuse for anything at all. I try make the best of what i have been given and i actually dont really pay too much attention to the past, that was just what i meant by 'heartbreaks'.. Again though, this post was just an outcome of a shitty time with my ex and i was looking for advice. And i do feel like i have gotten so much better from this point in my life. It actually makes me giggle a tiiny bit to see how brainwashed and disfunctional i was.
I dont feel anything like this anymore, the way he made me feel about everything was..well.. just shit. lol
I would still like to see a councellor though, just to make sure i can heal properly from that stupid, toxic relationship and just to be able to see clearly again. thanks.

[Ric]

I know all about jealousy destroying life. My first girlfriend, the one I thought to be the love of my life and blahblah unknowing teenager, cheated on me, and lied about pretty much every aspect of her life. Whether my jealousy/trust issues stem from that, or they were already there I do not know.
I do know they have caused some serious problems in other relationships.

Shrinks aren't for me. Learned to deal with them on my own. Eventually I just told myself to stop driving myself crazy and ignore any but the very deepest of jealousy/insecurity issues. And of those very deepest I will talk to a closest friend about to see if they might be grounded in the least. If my closest friend then says I'm being a baby, I'll put it in the back of my mind.
Yes, such issues will bother me, but they bother me less than they used to. More importantly, I won't bother my partner with them.

[bulrush]

I used to have trust issues but when I had a "insecurity attack" I would talk to my current gf. She would listen, and only sometimes comment "Well, I'm not those other girls, and I'm still here, aren't I?" and that's exactly what I needed. I kept doing this until I felt better about the relationship and my insecurities went away. I believe, JadenMia, that you are currently single. Do you have another friend who is wise that you can talk to?

Now I'm highly confident, happy, and have found a similar confident, happy woman.

[JadenMia]

I used to have trust issues but when I had a "insecurity attack" I would talk to my current gf. She would listen, and only sometimes comment "Well, I'm not those other girls, and I'm still here, aren't I?" and that's exactly what I needed. I kept doing this until I felt better about the relationship and my insecurities went away. I believe, JadenMia, that you are currently single. Do you have another friend who is wise that you can talk to?

Now I'm highly confident, happy, and have found a similar confident, happy woman.

Yep im single now, and ALOT happier this way. I no longer feel those aching insecurities of other people being better than me, sometimes il feel envious at a womans hot bod, but thats about as far as it goes. Now i think about it, i think he was just very manipulative in the ways he put me down and i always kind of felt it was my fault and then he would then make me feel like a shitty girlfriend for being insecure.. He would say random comments about how i should work out more, 'because thats how girls get nice asses'..
Now i feel SO much better, i have men tell me how great i am, guys left right and centre telling me how beautiful i am and how much better i deserved than him etc.. Its nice to hear compliments! Makes me feel more appreciated and i now no longer feel like i need that to have any reassurance off anybody, i can look in the mirror and think.. "yup! Im the best".. Thanks for all the feedback.

[ineedhelpnow]

Hey Jaden, I know completly how you feel. Im 29 yr old and girlfriend is 49. I cheated on her before and she forgave me. Now she keeps talking to a guy at work that she says is gay. She texts him, calls him, and facebooks him. I picture her cheating on me and I feel like breaking the guys kneecaps. I live with her and its really bothering me just like it is doing for you. My opinion is if he is going to cheat, let him and If he does leave him. If my girl cheats on me she is done, no questions asked, I hope this helps. Try to be HAPPY girl ok