manslation please?

**cuttingcrew** · 18-12-10, 10:14 PM

i been seein a girl for a couple of weeks now and we've been takin things kinda slow (still on first base, but we've fallen asleep together)

the other night i asked if if she wanted to hang out. i also invited her to a wine and cheese party at my friends place. she said sure. yesterday, she started sending me texts like "i dunno if i wanna go to that party... because i dont know anyone and i'd just follow you around like a dog" so i ended up going by myself with some friends, and she said she'd call me after she got off work - she didn't. i sent her a text around 11 and she replied that she was at a friends house, for "girl talk." about an hour later i decided to go over there because everyone left the party to go to the bars. she seemed really out of it - she said i was drunk (i was not!!) among other things. we were in bed a few minutes later and she started some strange pillow talk. i said directly - "something is clearly bothering you" and then she went off on a tangent and one of the things she said was "i don't know if i'd be happy single or in a relationship. i guess the one thing that bothers me about being single is having to sleep alone" wtf? i also noticed the mirror in her room shattered. she said something like "lol 7 years of bad luck, yay"

i was really creeped out and had a hard time sleeping. im also kind of irritated that she waited two weeks to tell me that she doesnt know if she wants a relationship. maybe she just said that cause shes bothered by something though

i was hoping someone could tell me what all this means - its making me feel guilty. otherwise i'm simply giong to avoid her for a while.

**Boisdevie** · 18-12-10, 11:01 PM

You can only talk to her. It's that simple - or that difficult!

**sweetkissesforu** · 18-12-10, 11:26 PM

Your only in this relationship a couple of weeks you probaly saw a side of her you have not seen we all have good days and bad we cant always hide from those could be simple pms lol if it becomes regular and you cant live with it this relationship will not last i hope this helped

**Ryan Heitzman** · 18-12-10, 11:28 PM

Hopefully you can get to second base soon. Maybe you can get to third base or even home.

**smackie9** · 19-12-10, 12:15 AM

This girl is very insecure and self conscience. She has deep fears of being judged by strangers in group situations. The smashed mirror is out of her frustration because she can't pull herself out of these fears and now it has thrown a wrench into what could be a relationship. That's probably why she is hesitant about getting involved with someone on a relationship level. Because she knows the insecurity will cause issues, she will fail and end up alone. The other fear is being alone. When she is alone she succumbs to a state of self loathing and feel no self worth. She is locked in a vicious cycle of damned if you do and damned if you don't. This girl is very confused, and is at he wits end on how to deal with these feelings she has. Her best bet is to see a therapist. Now everyone thinks a therapist is a bad word, but is it worth the life long struggles that will be faced if avoidance to see out help?

Dude it's not you personally. You've done nothing wrong, but as a warning you won't find what you are looking for with this girl but a friend. Maybe as a friend you can steer her towards getting help for herself.

**sweetkissesforu** · 19-12-10, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

This girl is very insecure and self conscience. She has deep fears of being judged by strangers in group situations. The smashed mirror is out of her frustration because she can't pull herself out of these fears and now it has thrown a wrench into what could be a relationship. That's probably why she is hesitant about getting involved with someone on a relationship level. Because she knows the insecurity will cause issues, she will fail and end up alone. The other fear is being alone. When she is alone she succumbs to a state of self loathing and feel no self worth. She is locked in a vicious cycle of damned if you do and damned if you don't. This girl is very confused, and is at he wits end on how to deal with these feelings she has. Her best bet is to see a therapist. Now everyone thinks a therapist is a bad word, but is it worth the life long struggles that will be faced if avoidance to see out help?

Dude it's not you personally. You've done nothing wrong, but as a warning you won't find what you are looking for with this girl but a friend. Maybe as a friend you can steer her towards getting help for herself.

Lol i only thought she was Pms wow this girls got more probs great detective work lol

**cuttingcrew** · 19-12-10, 10:59 PM

@smackie, wow you sure hit the nail on that one... she actually said that night "so im thinking about giving in and seeing a psychiatrist"
after a few weeks of dating what the hell am i supposed to say to that huh?

she texted me a few times yesterday and i didn't respond until quite later because i was annoyed by it:
"last saturday before christmas pretty busy!"
"not talking?"
"sad face"
"so your really just not going to talk to me?"

i decided to send her one around midnight, just a simple "hello" and she apparently hasn't received it. who knows what she's been doing all this time. im really not sure what to think of her behavior recently.

**Boisdevie** · 19-12-10, 11:31 PM

There are lots more fish in the sea. Find one - who is not a bunny boiler

**Ryan Heitzman** · 20-12-10, 01:57 AM

Originally Posted by Boisdevie

There are lots more fish in the sea. Find one - who is not a bunny boiler

Well then I want an angelfish.

**cuttingcrew** · 20-12-10, 02:20 AM

Originally Posted by Boisdevie

There are lots more fish in the sea. Find one - who is not a bunny boiler

there are so many crappy fish in the sea man... i dated so many girls in the last few months and i haven't met a single decent girl (sane, rational, intelligent). ive gone well below my personal standards (dating all shapes and sizes and even girls that do drugs and smoke) and they are either 1; batshit crazy, 2; have daddy issues, 3; lacking confidence, 4; extremely boring/stupid. im not being an asshole either - i gave every single one the benefit of doubt. it doesnt matter where i look; at college, in church, at lib, online. they are all cuckoo man. maybe i just need to tak a break from the dating game or just simply give up the search.

i agree this one is definitely a bunny boiler and ever since friday ive been thinking about dropping her like a hot potato.

**Ryan Heitzman** · 20-12-10, 02:31 AM

Originally Posted by cuttingcrew

there are so many crappy fish in the sea man... i dated so many girls in the last few months and i haven't met a single decent girl (sane, rational, intelligent). ive gone well below my personal standards (dating all shapes and sizes and even girls that do drugs and smoke) and they are either 1; batshit crazy, 2; have daddy issues, 3; lacking confidence, 4; extremely boring/stupid. im not being an asshole either - i gave every single one the benefit of doubt. it doesnt matter where i look; at college, in church, at lib, online. they are all cuckoo man. maybe i just need to tak a break from the dating game or just simply give up the search.

i agree this one is definitely a bunny boiler and ever since friday ive been thinking about dropping her like a hot potato.

Not if you find an angelfish.

**red_sparrow** · 21-12-10, 11:08 AM

this doesn't seem like too much to worry about, to be honest. and in a way i sort of understand where she's coming from with the party. when i first met by BF, he would invite me to parites too, but i wouldn't want to go because i'd feel like i was following him around. women don't like to be invited to 'parties.' next time, take her to a bar or restaurant, or go for a walk in the park. make it just the two of you, and show her lots of affection and attention

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