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Thread: How to bring her back?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7

    How to bring her back?

    Hi

    You all know me as you replied the question that I posted here that Am I wrong because I was her teacher? I am currently having one more problem here.

    It all shattered now.All is broken.I need sincere advice about that.Let me explain a bit.
    There are three persons.Me,She and her X boyfriend.I love her and she loved me too.We used to talk a lot on phones and mobiles.I think that we understand each other.We had 6 months long relationship.I was very happy with her.We used to fight on small issues like why she called me late,like why sometimes I not call her and just like that small things.

    It all started because I was jealous if she like someone else and that was obvious.One day she told me that she was looking the college souvinier.When I asked that weather she looked her X snap then she said YES.That make me angry.She had given me excuse that she just want to check that he appeared on the college prospectus or not.That make me sad and I had some hot exchanges with her.

    Then all seemed to go OK.Until one day again we had a fight.She SMS me in evening that she had an accident.I havent replied because i thought that she might be telling a lie.For Few days we had no talk.Then I called her.She was very angry.She told me that she dont want any relationship with a person who dont care about her.I said sorry but she was so rude.I many times said sorry that I know I was wrong but she hadnot changed.

    I kept on calling her because I think that someday she might forgive me.She used to be very rude with me.I many times wept on the phone.I asked her about if there is any tension she can tell me.She kept on saying that she dont want relationship with me because she want someone with a lot of money.I am basically from a middle class family but I told her that i can earn a lot of money if she remain with me.She told me that she want to enjoy life.Then
    she told me the biggest shock.She told me that she was upset because her X was going to England. She told me that she still love him and dont want to leave him.I asked her that then why she played with me then she said that there is no doubt that I helped her a lot to forget him and I am very nice but he still keep on coming i her mind.I wept a lot and told her that there is no problem.I was crying but at the same time i told her to go for him.They planned to meet.She and lot of people know tat she was not a nice man.He had a lot of girls as his Girlfriends.i prayed to GOD that do whatever is right for her.I told her that take care of yourself because he might use her but she replied that She can go to the extent that he can use her.She told that she would feel happy if so.But fortunately they hadnt met as she told me.She told me that she called him on airport and will mail him.After that her phone remained busy.everytime I called her phone remained busy.When I asked to whom she was talking then she used to say that It is none of my business.She kept on breaking me.I kept on crying because I really want her.

    Then one day she told me that she will always remember me because I still keep on loving her.She told me that I should never leave her.I told her that why should I?Then she called in the night and we had a talk as we had previously.I thank GOD.But the very next day she told me that she dont want to talk with me.I called her and she talk so rude with me.I told her that plz dont be angry but she keep on saying the things that really hurt me.She told me that she want to live alone.She told me that she want that everyone should say that she is a bad girl.I told her not to think this way.I asked her If anything I can do to help her.She told me that I should not call her or SMS her.I told her that i will never do it again.After that i stopped calling her.I cried a lot at nights but I hadnt called her.

    Three months after I SMS her to greet a festival here in INDIA but she changed her cell number.The next day I called her at home and she picked up the phone.Then she called me on my cell and she was still very rude with me.i told her that i want to greet her.She told me that she dont need my greetings.When I said how was the festival she told that how it could be for her?It sounds that she was still very upset and broken.She told me that she changed her number because I kept on messaging her.she called from her new mobile.I have her new number.i told her that I will not call or SMS her.So now I dont SMS or call her.

    Thats all.I think I tried a bit to explain what I m feeling.Thanks for reading.Now I need few suggetions.

    1.How can I bring her back? Someone told me that keep in touch with her.Thats why I planned to SMS her on occassions.Like on her birthday,on New Year,On valentine day.That I will do.

    2.What Else I can do?She keep on saying that I am not smart.What should I do to look smart?

    3.I am going abroad too so that I can prove her that i can also worth as equal to her X.What else I can do to impress her and bring her back.

    4.She told me to earn a lot of money.Thats why I am going abroad to earn dollars.I want to prove her my worth.What else I can do?

    Hope you help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    37
    Oh...oh...no dude...I'll try to explain what's going on-hopefully it will open your eyes to all the communication going on that's not totally obvious.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    It all started because I was jealous if she like someone else and that was obvious.One day she told me that she was looking the college souvinier.When I asked that weather she looked her X snap then she said YES.That make me angry.
    Jealousy is insecurity. Insecurity is NOT attractive.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    She SMS me in evening that she had an accident.I havent replied because i thought that she might be telling a lie.For Few days we had no talk.Then I called her.She was very angry.She told me that she dont want any relationship with a person who dont care about her.I said sorry but she was so rude.I many times said sorry that I know I was wrong but she hadnot changed.
    Don't apologize for your actions. SHE had given you a reason to be doubtful about her words. She is a guest in YOUR reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    I kept on calling her because I think that someday she might forgive me.She used to be very rude with me.I many times wept on the phone.I asked her about if there is any tension she can tell me.
    Do you see what's happening here? You might be attempting to communicate that you care, that she means a lot to you, but what you're communicating on a subconscious level is that you're clingy, needy, like you need someone in order to survive. Be your own man.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    she told me the biggest shock.She told me that she was upset because her X was going to England. She told me that she still love him and dont want to leave him.I asked her that then why she played with me then she said that there is no doubt that I helped her a lot to forget him and I am very nice but he still keep on coming i her mind.
    She played with you because you let her. You put her on a pedestal, and she was able to roll right over top of you.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    I wept a lot and told her that there is no problem.I was crying but at the same time i told her to go for him.They planned to meet.She and lot of people know tat she was not a nice man.He had a lot of girls as his Girlfriends.i prayed to GOD that do whatever is right for her.I told her that take care of yourself because he might use her but she replied that She can go to the extent that he can use her.She told that she would feel happy if so.
    This is where you, and a lot of guys need to pay attention, friend. You've been slotted into the "friends" category at the very most. Why, why WHY would a girl go back to an abusive, player-type man? Because she hasn't met a real MAN that will treat her well. The only MEN she knows treat her like crap...and MEN create attraction. Her need for a man is so primal, so basic, that logic can't override the emotional response to this man.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    Then one day she told me that she will always remember me because I still keep on loving her.She told me that I should never leave her.I told her that why should I?Then she called in the night and we had a talk as we had previously.I thank GOD.But the very next day she told me that she dont want to talk with me.
    Why in the world would she tell you to keep loving/never leave her? Attention! Girls don't mind attention from men at all, regardless if the men will receive any from her. If she couldn't stand you as a boyfriend, why would she want to be "just friends" which is basically a boyfriend on a less intimate level? Attention! When you challenged her by asking why you shouldn't leave-she probably saw a spark of real man glowing within you-and she probably hoped that last dying ember could reignite the masculine fire, hence why she called you.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    I called her and she talk so rude with me.I told her that plz dont be angry but she keep on saying the things that really hurt me.She told me that she want to live alone.She told me that she want that everyone should say that she is a bad girl.
    Because bad girls are seen as a challenge and/or easy in some cases, which would cause the seemingly "real men" (jerks, assholes) to flock to her.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    1.How can I bring her back? Someone told me that keep in touch with her.Thats why I planned to SMS her on occassions.Like on her birthday,on New Year,On valentine day.That I will do.
    Don't bring her back.

    [QUOTE=stranger]2.What Else I can do?She keep on saying that I am not smart.What should I do to look smart?

    If you want to look smart-forget about this girl!

    [QUOTE=stranger]3.I am going abroad too so that I can prove her that i can also worth as equal to her X.What else I can do to impress her and bring her back.

    If you're just going abroad for that-you're going for all the wrong reasons. You probably won't enjoy yourself/get much out of it if you do. Don't worry about impressing her or bringing her back.

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    4.She told me to earn a lot of money.Thats why I am going abroad to earn dollars.I want to prove her my worth.What else I can do?
    Dude, and here's something you said earlier!

    Quote Originally Posted by stranger
    She kept on saying that she dont want relationship with me because she want someone with a lot of money.
    Bro...I hope STRANGER isn't a reference to your relationship with knowledge about "no" chicks. A "no" chick is a girl you flat out refuse to deal with because she wants to use you. Please, please, please see that you've mentioned twice that she wants money...and worst of all YOUR money. Say you would get married-she'd be spending your cash and partying with her ex while your still earning her more money to impress her and trying to rescue her from her "bad boy" addiction!

    This is a lot of typing for me bud, so I hope you take at least some of this advice to heart. The reasons problems exist from what you've told us is that you're lacking the qualities women look for when they search for the real man. Crying over a girl is ridiculous. SHE'S JUST A GIRL! I'm not saying real men don't cry-lots of men cried on 9/11, lots of men cry when they lose a parent or sibling...but don't dehydrate yourself just because some girl is having issues. The best thing you can do is move on. There are so many people in India alone! It won't be long before you find someone who makes you feel better than she did.

    The best thing to do would be to use this to fuel your serious attempt to regain your manhood and understand attraction. This will be a start at being able to date the women you want, and give those women what they want-a real man! Start your quest at [URL=www.sosuave.com]www.sosuave.com[/URL] and as you gain some knowledge, expand your base. Good luck-I'd love to see you make a turnaround.

    ~P
    "If you want loyalty-get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention-get a smart dog." -Grant Fairley

    "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    145
    Hmm, I have a slightly differnet outlook. The above could be possible, but I also think that she may just be mad at herself. This is something you really cant do anything about. If she wants to be self-loathing and self-pitying, and youve done all this to tell her you love her, then there isnt anything you can do for her now. She seems like she is just dragging you down at this time, and playing games with you. I would suggest trying to move on and realize that you have alot going for you, and even if you did love her and even if she still loves you, she is not ready to be with you.

    This does suck alot, but I think its the only way you can go about things without tearing yourself up. Youve done everything you can, so dont have any regrets my friend.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    ok

    Thanks for the reply.What I am doing now is that i m paying attention to myself.i will sms her but I will become a strong man right from now.i will not weep and try my best to bring her back

    Take care

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