Give up or fight for?

[elsolej]

Please explain me how does it work:
I met a guy... hmm.. not to original beginning?
We liked each other since the beginning and I don't mean here full of excitement and passion love at first sight but simply sympathy. The issue was that I lived in two different cities 1 hour away from each other. ****ed up? Think so!
We started dating and we slept together.. and there is the time for some retrospection:
I have "just" finished 5y relationship (and by "just" I mean more than 1 year ) and I was engaged and supposed to get married this year. Never happened... thankfully.
He is even worse- as he came from extremely religious family where guys are supposed t get married with the first girl they kissed or better waiting even with kissing till they wedding night... he had his first girlfriend in age of 25! Now you think this is ****ed up?
So my beloved had his girlfriend for a 1,5 year but they lived on two different continents that time. She kinda forced him to sleep with her but he was too stressed to manage something. Whole their relationship was about meeting once per month and arguing over the sex problems... She told him she loved him- he never did.
Ok but now about US not THEM.
So one year after they had broken up he met me and slept with me and somehow without any pressure (as I didn't put to much on him and just tough him how to relax and enjoy sex) he managed to do it... many times.. same night..
You wondering where is the problem?
The problem is that now after few months he told me that his problem was he never needed a girlfriend or love in his life.. he has a job that he enjoy and friends that he can always go out with and some passions that make him happy and just never felt the need to look for a relationship... that in the religion that raised him he had never seen people honestly caring about each other and loving each other and that he's afraid he's unable to love.. to need another person...
At the same time he wants to spend with me as much time as it's possible, he introduced me to all his friends and invited me to live with him for a couple of weeks when I lost my flat...

So.. all you smart people somewhere there.. how should I understand that?? Love him or leave him? Stay as friends or try to teach him what love means..?

[sweetkissesforu]

Go slow no pressure because even tho he feels he does not need love he might be in love or falling in love with you

[TheScottj]

Hello,

Mixing cultures and beliefs in anything can be a rather big struggle, it will be hard to probably change his opinions and thoughts on something he has grown his entire life to believing in. The question you should be asking is, is it worth trying to get him to open up and feel love? It may be an impossible task, it may be easy. It all depends on him and you are the only one here who knows him. So, is he open minded enough to change how he thinks and to open up? or is he close minded and you feel it is only going to fail?

If you think it worth giving it a go, then you should try. But always ensure you keep a reminder that this may not work. So protect yourself and build "walls" to ensure you don't get hurt too bad if this should go wrong. You can just let the "walls" down again when / if you are able to accomplish this.

Regards,
Scott