Skeleton in the closet

[OpticalIllusion]

alright, I'll start by telling a bit about myself. I'm 16, soon to be 17, a junior in high school, and am more confused than when I heard Bill Clinton ask for the definition of the word "is".

Here's my story/problem. When I was 11 years old, I developed crush on a girl who was a good friend of mine's sister. In fact, I liked her up until I turned 16 (in that time, i've gone through numerous relationships) Well, it was a huge crush. It lasted for 5 years after all. About a week ago, I find out that this girl who i've had a crush on for 5 years had just as much as a crush on me. We even discussed today, how crazy it was that we had both liked each other for so long and never known.

"Well, what is the problem?" you ask. Oh, that's easy. We are both currently involved with someone. Now, I am for relationship loyalty as much as the next guy, but I couldn't help but feel something when I heard about this. A lot of the same feelings came back to me. I don't want to just up and leave the person I am dating now, because of this. But at the same time, I dont' want to be in a relationship where I really have feelings for another person. I am so confused on what to say and do right now. Any help, would be more than appreciated. To whoever answer, thanks for being there for me.

[sfalexi]

I'd talk to her and see if she's willing to leave her man for you. Cause if she won't, then you know it's not the right time ANYWAY and can't do anything ANYWAY. If she is, then both of you break it off with that other person and give each other a shot.

Rod Steele

[Cybog]

haha, yeah, great idea.

Imagine you were actually in a relationship and over the age of 21. And suddenly your girlfriend up and said "Well hun, it's time to end this. I've gone and found someone better. Hope you have a nice life."

Wouldnt that be great! Im sure everyone here who has been dumped by someone, and then later found out they went to be with someone else would just LOVE your advice!

[sfalexi]

haha, yeah, great idea.

Imagine you were actually in a relationship and over the age of 21. And suddenly your girlfriend up and said "Well hun, it's time to end this. I've gone and found someone better. Hope you have a nice life."

Wouldnt that be great! Im sure everyone here who has been dumped by someone, and then later found out they went to be with someone else would just LOVE your advice!

I assume you'd rather them stay with their current boyfriend for the HIS sake and just secretly want to be with someone else and keep to themselves how they wish they had the guts to break it off. That way they can never be fully happy, but at least the other guy THINKS his girl is in love with him. As long as it LOOKS like a happy relationship it'd be fine with you I guess.

Not with me. I'd want to be with the one that I'm REALLY into. Not just stick with what's worked in the past and wish that I could get out of it.

Not to mention that these people are 16 and 17. There's a very slight possibility, however so small it may be, that perhaps they are not already with their "destined" partner and that maybe they should consider dating other people instead of sticking with the person they are currently with while they, and I quote, "really have feelings for another person"? ESPECIALLY if the only reason they have NOT to break up is to spare their current partner the pain of a breakup?

[kronos51]

Agreed Alexi. It would be much more hurtful in the end for the people theyre involved with to find out that they have had feelings for other people but have been continuing a farce of a relationship. As much as I love my girlfriend, if she truly had feelings for someone else I would much rather she told me and broke up with me than she stayed with me and was torn apart. It would suck, but it would suck more to find out I had been in a lie of a relationship.