Relationship Anxiety... please help

[utahguy058]

I have recently been spending a lot of time getting to know a new guy. He is funny, fun, witty, charming, and cute. We can talk forever and get butterflies when talking. I woke up this morning with a sick pit in my stomach about the relationship. Anxiety feelings. I just want to run. I have had these feelings several times with people I tend to fall for. And only people I tend to care about. Is this normal? Why do you think it happens. I just want to run away. Is it my body saying this is wrong guy or just my body scared to like someone so it wants me to go into flight mode.

[damn2010]

Have you had any past FAMILY and/or RELATIONSHIP issues that can cause this anxiety?

Do you have any personal insecurities?

Anxiety can be from those. Ultimately, we as human beings are always nervous and scared about "getting hurt" and having our hearts/feelings broken because we suffer from it. The best thing you can do now is try to THINK back to where this relationship anxiety is coming from, identify it, and work with yourself to get through it.

Your anxiety can prevent you from having a potentially great relationship if you keep "running".

[Zabrinah]

This is totally normal, and happened to me. The commenter above me is completely right. This anxiety is stopping you from great relationships. It sounds like this isn't your gut warning you about the guy, it is:


*drum roll please*

A Fear of Being Happy.

I definitely had this, but it is easy to conquer.

See if you answer yes to any of the following questions:



1. Once you start succeeding at something, do you quit?

2. Do you ever hold back from trying your best?

3. Do you view happiness/joy as a burden?

4. Do you engage in self-sabotage once people compliment you on an achievement?

5. Are you afraid of doing too well? Afraid of reaching perfection—improving too much?

6. Do you avoid nice, decent guys?

7. Do you believe that “good things never last?” or from the moment you’re happy, it’s just a countdown to when you’re lonely again?


If you are committing in self-sabotage, I'll tell you how I stopped with four easy steps:

1. Examine your past and set up preventive measures. If you know that receiving a compliment on work, makes you work less, don’t fall do that, anymore. Continue with whatever earned you that compliment in the first place.

2. Run towards happiness with open arms. See for yourself how long it lasts.

3. Document these happenings in your journal. If you follow steps 1 &2 for the duration of three months and consistently journal throughout the whole time, you’ll most likely find that your fears were highly irrational. I sure did!

4. When all else fails, transfer all of your problems unto a friend that doesn’t exist. In other words, an imaginary friend. Give him/her all your problems and figure out how to make them better. It will help you look at your situation rationally. So, if this imaginary friend suddenly had a fear of being happy and came to you for advice, what would you honestly say?


Hope this helped!

[SapphireBerry]

My ex I used to date said he used to throw up before he got involved with me (and yes witty people make jokes all you like) but I'm speaking in a context that he had anxiety problems too and still does from what I've seen of him, he was the kind of person rarely to converse with people and make new friends. You sound like you have a few worries and concerns worth looking over before you get seriously involved. Also take a moment to reflect on what you want