Heart aches STILL

[Boisdevie]

Why don't you get out there and do some dating yourself? I've found that crazy sex really helps you forget an ex

[angela85]

You still feel the pain because your closing your heart and life to him.. Why not give yourself a chance. HAve fun, date with other men....Life is too short to be unhappy make your life meaning ful and you will find peace in your heart.

[hope555]

hey hope555,thank you. you've helped me a lot. i would like to private message you but don't have enough posts to do it. .

Why do you need posts to private message someone? You just click on their profile and send them a private message. Anyway...hope you're doing better We all really feel for you and understand the heartache you're going through.

[want2heal]

I just saw a picture of my ex. I don't know why I continually do this to myself - I have no more contact with him or any of his friends but this picture of his has placed pain back in my heart. I'm sad. My heart aches STILL.

[jackcobain]

hey "want2heal" .... i m also going thru almost the same thing... but in my case to make it more worse... my ex moved on wit some other guy within 2 weeks of our break up.... wen i begged her to come back she insulted me... the best part of this forum is.... u get good support and makes u feel better.... and u know u r not alone.... i hve been whining for the last 4 months.... i think now i cant be like this... as they say time heals... i hve to make concious effort to pick the pieces of my life and make it better... coz my ex is so happy wit her new love..... i forgive her... & hope i wil too find sumone (but at the moment it doesnt look like) .... i hope u too become alright... trust me dont waste time crying or dweling on the past.... make strong concious effort to move on... if u do so... u will be fine and happy... god bless ya....

[ccjc]

You really need to put any images you have of him or belongings in a box. Write on that box saying, "Do not open until 20XX"

Hopefully one day when you are at a different stage in life and have someone next to you. The memories; if its with or without him, are just that...memories of the past. I'm not saying you're not allowed to look at him, but if you havent gotten over the guy and that was what you set out for yourself then its not helping if you still have attached feelings.

Ask yourself, what do you want, what do you plan to do about it and how likely are you able to achieve the goals you set out for you.

[ccjc]

.. trust me dont waste time crying or dweling on the past.... make strong concious effort to move on... if u do so... u will be fine and happy... god bless ya....

I totally agree with the being happy of your life part. But you need to cry, dont keep it in yourself. It does make things worse and it isnt healthy to stop yourself from crying.

You'll feel a lot better by crying, you might find that at some point no more tears wont come out anymore. That could be a good sign that you've flushed out what you needed to to be able to move on.

[want2heal]

Isn't it strange that all of us who have had our hearts broken know what we should do or how we should feel or know that it just takes time for the pain to go away... we've heard it from ourselves and from others all around us.. we've heard all the different perspectives... but the problem is the heart... the heart just doesn't quite agree and that is what's causing me/us sadness.

[jackcobain]

Isn't it strange that all of us who have had our hearts broken know what we should do or how we should feel or know that it just takes time for the pain to go away... we've heard it from ourselves and from others all around us.. we've heard all the different perspectives... but the problem is the heart... the heart just doesn't quite agree and that is what's causing me/us sadness.

absolutely... u wont beleive i was just gonna post the same thing... man v all know wat v r supposed to do... but our heart just cant seem to understand... every night when i sleep wit wet eyes... i promise myself tat i wont get up wit her thougth and tomorrow is a new and happy day.... but sigh!!!.... the first thing wen i open my eyes... it happens to be the same thing... thinking abt her... i mean nothing changes.. atleast for me... its been 4-5 months... but i still question myself abt it.. tat wat went wrong? why did she do this to me... but i know and i want to beleive tat i will be fine... and i will find sumbody who will love me back to my expectations..... "Survivor" - Destiny Child... listening to this songs helps a lot...

[Dean Kaplan]

I am back with a heart ache. I just found out through a friend that my ex is dating someone now. I was actually doing well moving on but this news has set me back. I wish I didn't hear about this.

Tell me how I'm supposed to be fine with the fact that he has moved on and I haven't? Please help.

As the others have mentioned, you're not going to be fine at first. Take it from me though, over time you will be ok. You just have to trust that. It sucks, and it feels unfair. There's a myriad of emotions you'll go through. Just hang on and have faith. The best thing you can do as well is continue to make yourself busy. Ask for additional hours at work, start working out. If you already have been working out, work out more. Just get really busy.

[want2heal]

I'm getting out there now and gone on a few dates. I am moving forward. But sadly, I'm still not happy. I'm actually afraid.... afraid of not being able to meet anyone who has the potential to be my mate forever. Right now every person that I've met doesn't seem to meet my standards... or is as good as my ex in many ways. Yes, I am comparing but it's so hard not to. And yes, things didn't work out with my ex for many reasons but there were a lot that I did like about him. Can I be happy again? Maybe I'm not ready to date. Will I ever find that ONE who can make me happy?

[want2heal]

why does it feel as if my heart will never heal?
he is continually on my mind, in my head... i just want to him to go away....
i don't want to think about him anymore...
the mind is so cruel to me...

[want2heal]

why is that we, the dumpees, always do things that don't help us move on? like contacting the ex, or checking them out on facebook, or seeing their friends on facebook, or asking other friends how they're doing, or reading old emails from the ex, or looking at old photos?????? why??? why do we do those things? minutes ago i saw pictures of my ex with his new gf. i already knew he's dating someone but still couldn't resist looking at them. and now guess what? MY HEART HURTS. overwhelmed with sadness.