When is it time to make it official?

[Tri'elle]

Hi all. I've been seeing a girl from my college for a few weeks. We've spent time alone (they were dates, I suppose) 6 or 7 times now. For the last 3 we've been kissing and cuddling, so we know we like each other. She has also said she isn't like that with anyone else. When I asked if she saw it ever becoming an official relationship, she said she could see it happening. I haven't seen her since then - I will see her in a couple of days.

Do you think it's too soon for me to ask her to be my exclusive girlfriend? I don't want to rush her or scare her or anything!

Any opinions would be awesome, thank you!

[Meskazc]

I went through something similar (actually, very similar) and when I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend we started to have problems.

If you guys are going out on dates, cuddling, and kissing and she's not doing that with anyone else then she probably wants to be in a relationship with you. Technically, you guys are already in a relationship- you just need to slap the definitive label on it.

I would say that you should poke around about it, don't come straight out and ask her but see if she really does want to be your girlfriend. You could just take a dive and ask her if she's ready to move to the next level (girlfriend status).

I mean, if she's cuddling and kissing you and going out on dates with you then I see no reason why she wouldn't want to be your girlfriend. Don't over think and don't be too shy you might regret it

[smackie9]

Wow I didn't you had to ask....I always just let it happen.

[Take2]

Yeah, ask her. Or just tell her you want to date her and aren't interested in dating other girls, just want to focus on her. Then she can reciprocate if she feels it, but it's an easier out if she doesn't feel that way than if you said "Will you be my girlfriend?"

[Alliance]

I'm with Smackie on this one. I never ask either.

Meskazc also has a good point - test the waters a bit...
Say something like "my buddy asked what I'm doing today, I told him I'm taking my girlfriend to a movie."

If there's no oppostion, you can assume it is (don't seek agreement or reaffimration from her - this only adds uncertainty).

[jdean76]

I'd just come out and ask her if she wants to make it official. That's what I did. Worked out. I wouldn't pussyfoot around the subject. If you think it's time, just do it directly.

[sarahprincess]

Just flat out ask her. You dont want to leave it open for interpretation. Plus then she can be sure of your intentions and not you just wanting...other things.

[Take2]

I think not mentioning it is a bad plan. Assuming you guys are on the same page just makes it likely there will be misunderstanding.

[SelflessnHumble]

Hi all. I've been seeing a girl from my college for a few weeks. We've spent time alone (they were dates, I suppose) 6 or 7 times now. For the last 3 we've been kissing and cuddling, so we know we like each other. She has also said she isn't like that with anyone else. When I asked if she saw it ever becoming an official relationship, she said she could see it happening. I haven't seen her since then - I will see her in a couple of days.

Do you think it's too soon for me to ask her to be my exclusive girlfriend? I don't want to rush her or scare her or anything!

Any opinions would be awesome, thank you!

Act as nature intended: Naturally.
Don't force or contrive the relationship in any way because this can be construed as *needy* and is a major turn off for women.

The mistake you made is that you asked her if she could see you two in an official relationship (versus what? Messing around) ?
This is a red flag for me. She isn't taking you seriously, why? Well you didn't persist.

When she said she could see it happening she omitted the most important part:WHEN!!!
I think it was done intentionally because people do NOT have to be asked this question, and people don't answer it in manner in which she did
unless: She isn't taking it serious.

Curb your emotions and reevaluate your feelings for her.
In 3 weeks time you don't really know her, and this is proof your relationship is already having issues with communication!

What will she cryptically tell you next?


When a woman tells you "I'm not like this with anyone else" you have to think on your feet and get creative...
Act cute towards her and say, " well why not? I mean you're so wonderful I'd have thought there were men just lining up to be with you"
(and smile when you say this and be calm but playful) You need more info before you can give her "more" of yourself. Don't be foolish.