can't Live without her

[randyhall71]

( I am an Indian and My girlfriend is Chinese.)

I met this girl a year back in a club. We just a casual chat. But there was something in her. I used to be travelling to US most of the time. I met her in Malaysia. I met her again in my next trip and then onwards our friendship grew stronger. She would never go with any man, but she would always be with me and even stay at my house in Malaysia. When ever she was free from work, she would come to me. We never formally declared that we were B/F- G/F. But there was amazing chemistry. One day she had to move back to china as her visa had expired.

After moving to china she said that lets be friends and she would not even respond to my text quite often. My love for her made me shift to china.

She did mention that after her ex-boyfriend cheat on her, she would never trust a man, but she did say that she trusted me. She gets her happiness from me , but dont love me.

In china too, she would stay at my place, and would always be there with me and went out together.

She has a very sour experience with her ex-boyfriend and incidentally her girlfriend also lost her husband as he was caught cheating on her. This further added to her belief that she would want to be alone. Some time she would tell me that she can't take another lie from anyone.

We had very good relation for one year. She even started exploring that we could possibly marry. She said that may be i am in her luck.


One day she sent me text that she would like to move back to a small town with her girl friend and take up job there.

she said that she cannot be my girlfriend and cannot marry.

She left me all alone. I was really left alone in a complete alien country-china.

I have been good to her - out of the way. I left my country and business for her. I could feel when she was not well, and I would run to help her before she could cry. I came down to china and found new job there. I wanted to be with her.

Anyway, recently I moved back to my country. Am very depressed and hurt. I still get her emails and text. She wants me to be in touch with her. If i do not text or write email to her for couple of days, she gets angry.

She even asks me to send my photo. I once again recently told her that I love her and want to be with her. She told me that I should not wait for her and she is not good.

I dont know what to do to get her back. She still texts me. when she is alone, she would text my name to me .

I dont like this remote relations. I have loved her and want her.

Please help me , how can i have her back.

[Boisdevie]

You can't have her back because for whatever reason she has decided that she does not want you. You have to accept this and move on. You will learn that you can live without her.

[devonbrown]

At this point, your love for her is unrequited. You need to accept that and accept that you can only be friends with her or you will drive yourself crazy by overthinking it constantly.
Concentrate on yourself for a while. I know this sounds a little harsh, but be selfish. Do the things you want to do. Make yourself happy. Once you do that you will see what is good in your life and take measures to increase those experiences.
Good luck.

[Raze]

When a girl says she wants to be friends with you, it's set in stone. You can be friends with her, but that's all.

[randyhall71]

I, think being selfish is the way. I would prefer focussing on my career. I dont think , i would fall in love ever again.

[devonbrown]

Don't rule out the possibility of falling in love again. Just make sure you are happy in your own life first. Have the relationship be something that makes life even better, rather than it being the be-all, end-all of life.

Good luck!

[randyhall71]

Thanks Devon. Appreciate your advice.
Best Regards
Randy

Don't rule out the possibility of falling in love again. Just make sure you are happy in your own life first. Have the relationship be something that makes life even better, rather than it being the be-all, end-all of life.

Good luck!

[Dean Kaplan]

The harsh reality is that you can't get her back. It takes two to make a relationship work. It's in your best interest to cut off contact with her so that you can begin to heal. You can't be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Even if she came back reluctantly, would you want someone that only came back because you begged them, or out of pity for you?

You need to gain confidence back in yourself, take yourself out to eat, undergo a makeover to make yourself feel better about yourself. Most important is to cut off ALL contact with her for at least a month so that you can start to get yourself together.

[randyhall71]

Thanks Dean.
This forum has given me an opportunity to look in right direction. I really demean myself....Thats the worst thing one can do.

Anyway, a learning, I should use to my positive use.

Thanks to you and actually every one in the forum.

Best Regards
Randy

The harsh reality is that you can't get her back. It takes two to make a relationship work. It's in your best interest to cut off contact with her so that you can begin to heal. You can't be with someone that doesn't want to be with you. Even if she came back reluctantly, would you want someone that only came back because you begged them, or out of pity for you?

You need to gain confidence back in yourself, take yourself out to eat, undergo a makeover to make yourself feel better about yourself. Most important is to cut off ALL contact with her for at least a month so that you can start to get yourself together.