Advice Anyone?

[tpk578]

Ok, I posted a couple weeks ago about this one girl who was seemingly ignoring me (shes 28, I'm 27). So I'll keep the intro short:

- I saw her a total of 3 times, the last time being exactly a month ago, been talking to her since early November - The last time I saw her she was ALL over me, ie hugging, kissing, etc.
- So this is why i was shocked when she abruptly stopped talking to me ( this happened about a week after our last date when I asked her out to a friends Christmas party- after that she seemingly pulled a David Copperfield and dissappeared).

So, basically I feel like I'm on dating life support. I feel like I may have been "nexted" if you will, ie I met this girl on a online dating site (never done it before so I'm a bit confused on the whole subject, it really is as someone put it, "like kids in a candy store") To be fair neither one of us has stopped getting on the site- I have recently just to keep my mind open, as I don't really want to fixate on one girl (yeah yeah, I know all the fish in the sea), so I'm probably going to go out with someone else this week.

Without further ado, heres my question: She doesnt seem to be the most "emotional" person out there so shes hard to read. Plus, I do know she was busy and the holidays were kinda hard on her, so I tried to give her space. After 2 weeks of no talk, I've recently talked to her twice on the phone and texted a couple times. The last couple times I've talked to her she'll talk to me for upwards of 30 minutes until I have to get off the phone. She does seem to still think I'm funny, maybe I should just keep using laughter- that seems to reach her. It's frustrating because I'll call her, then she'll call the next day, etc...... I think shes ignoring me, then she'll call back. Yesterday I asked her out to a concert 2 saturdays from now and she said she loves the band and will see if she can go. In my experience, anything but an enthusiastic yes isn't what I want. Anyways, I'm tired of walking on eggshells, I'm pretty sure she knows how I feel, and honestly I don't think I need to really have a disussion about that now, seeing as Ive been out with her 3 times. I just want to get to know her better.


Whats the best way to approach this kind of girl, should I just try to get her back out for something simple like lunch or coffee this weekend? I'm old enough and have been dating enough to have been ignored before and to have been strung along before. This is just a weird, weird situation for me because it feels like neither.... thoughts?

Thanks in advance

[Raze]

You should stay away from her because you were being used by her probably so that she can get back up on her feet. My guess is that she needed a rebound till she met someone else. You were the rebound.

[Boisdevie]

My thoughts - if she was keen on you she would have been in touch.

[devonbrown]

Continue with the slow and easy approach. If she is not very emotional, pushing her is the worst thing you could do. Don't have any big talk with her. Just keep playing it cool.

[smackie9]

If they are hot then cold, that usually means there's someone else makin her hot.

[tpk578]

Yeah I agree, its most likely that shes as interested anymore.... and/or is interested in someone else. Who knows? And yes devonbrown- I was considering asking for a lunch date this weekend- something low key and I have been playing it cool with her, but see I've already asked her to this concert. Shes been working alot on weekends, but if she really wants it to happen I know she can make it happen. And the concert, I believe is a good idea, because we talk about music so much, and we had previously talked about going to a concert. Plus one of mine and hers favorite restaurants is right next to the venue. So, that being said I feel like thats my last go at it.... the concerts on the 15th.

So yeah, i'm tired of feeling like I'm on thin ice and waiting around for her to get it together (which she probably will never). Dont like being put on the back burner if its a case of her testing the waters with someone else. And no, I'm not crazy, I still feel something there when i talk to her. I have let girls loose for less than this in the past, so its odd I still have her in play. Just gonna give her one more shot to take it

Now, a question to everybody, I'm not into games or manipulation- I want things to evolve naturally as they were before. But I'm a realist and I do have other options. Just because shes my #1 choice shouldn't make me put the "blinders" on if you will. What if I wait through the weekend and just send her something along the lines of "Hey dinner and the concert this Saturday night, you in? Or do I have to ask someone else?" I want her to wonder who on earth else I would take, and in all honesty I have a couple other girls who would love to go. I feel like she needs to know I do have other options. And , Im not arrogant or overly confident, but in a way I feel like SHE'S blowing this, and I want to see if she recognizes that. I dont feel like its manipulation because A) it's practical- im not going ALONE for God's sakes so I need to know, and B) its 2 activities we both love. And if she isn't down for that fun, well she just isnt worth it. And that will be that on to the next girl.........

Would love to hear anyones thoughts on that tactic.....

[Raze]

You're hot and you're cold. You're yes and you're no. You're wrong when it's right.... Sorry, this thread made me think of that song.