Jerks will always win...

[The Nice Guy849]

So yeah obviously from my username you see what i'm getting at.

Right now, i'm just very, VERY upset and jealous going around school working my schedules, and all i see are girls ALL OVER those bad boy assholes *as usual* and it's funny because the more i search about it, girls NEVER FULLY ADMIT they're attracted to jerks, when in reality they LOVE them!

im trying to become i guess a *good* guy, but im starting to feel like what's the point?? the guy who girls will see as the challenge to change his lifestyle and all that other crap will ALWAYS win, nice/good guys get their left overs usually through a failed marriage or whatever.*sigh* its like ingrained in my head of insecure images of them *getting together sexually* for every single girl i see, and the fact is that it USUALLY happens =/ while i would probably try and get rejected in a heartbeat, while those jerks have SOOO many options for sex its really funny actually lol

A group of girls were talking in the hallway about some guy having major amounts of sex with a bunch of girls during the same night, they didnt even know how many times, and the girls sounded intrigued about it. honestly, that was the last straw for me...im just slowly breaking down because those SUPER hot, asshole jerks will ALWAYS ALWAYS win!!! i mean like GOD every single breakup story with a girl is about some asshole using them for sex while they *fell* for them it's un-f***ing believable!! i read EVERYTHING about oh being a good guy>bad guy good guys are SO rare when it's SO obvious reality wise jerks>good guys =/

it TEARS me up with jealousy and insecurity over ANY girl i would talk to to JUST be attracted to yet another jerk whose more outgoing and does *funny* things that will make EVERY girl laugh that there's just nothing i can do, no matter HOW confident, HOW outgoing i might be, this is honestly how im starting to feel, im only 20 and im considering just shutting girls out cause what is the point if they just want a *spontaneous, outgoing funny guy! aka a lesser version of an asshole* everytime i even see them kiss in a hallway(all the time for how girls just LOVE those jerks!) it's like a tremendous stab in the heart for me...i just feel so freaking weak......

not only that, but my own self worth is going down, i feel that through all m workouts to obtain 6 pak abs i feel i am ugly as heck, un-confident, and is the kind of guy woman just brush off as *oh, that guy* my mom sometimes tries to cheer me p by telling me her work friends say im hot and cute when they're like 30 years+ AND my moms friend so they HAVE to say sumn nice, it doesnt matter cause when i really want it from a girl i like, i dont get it or i just get *your a REALLY great guy, but.....* it doesnt help that my ugly(he even knows this) friend all the way in california is getting girls left and right and his gf gets jealous of him for NO reason cause she thinks he's a stud??? ugh =/

im sorry this post was so long for this rant, i seriously jus feel HORRIBLE about myself right now....idk what kind of advice ANYONE can give me at this point, but because im seeing it so often and since NO ONE in my family cares about my worries, my feelings might just overtime become self harming if i continue to (imo) face this reality that i can probably never compete with those kinds of guys, i wont ever get *hookups* or *girlfriends* or anything because im not SUPER outgoing and confident to actually get what i would like to have, yet the jerks have all the girls in love with them already......what's the point......=,(

[MynameisJesus]

join the club my friend. You just posted my biography until I was 20 something. Change yourself, you don't have to be an ass to succeed.
Sure, some women want jerks only. Because they are dumb attention whores. But try to set different women as a target

[MerryH]

So bitter.

im considering just shutting girls out cause what is the point if they just want a *spontaneous, outgoing funny guy!

Yes, girls notice spontaneous, outgoing, funny guys. Those are attractive qualities for most people. Those guys are also the ones who have enough confidence to approach girls and ask them out or whatever. If you're a boring wallflower who never makes a move, then obviously you're not going to score as much as those guys.

They are only "assholes" because you're jealous of them. They get what you think you can't, of course you hate them. That doesn't necessarily mean they're truly assholes, though.

[The Nice Guy849]

yea well, it's also more the reason to just stop trying, like say how could i be outgoing and funny and confidence while another guy whose an asshole is doing the same in a more cocky way and to a guys' knowledge girls obviously like that more, once again meaning jerk>good guy...so it's like why bother??? I'm just simply tired of doing so much changing and all the mental harassment i put myself through to try and get better with girls, and yet i still feel like i am no match for a typical jerk.

and that's not really the reason guys call them jerks. guys call them jerks because the *good, lovable side* you girls claim they have comes out when you give it up to him or when he wants some and you try and try and try to drag that side out constantly and that's the *challenge* to you, when in reality it's simply a load of bullcrap to keep you attached and girls fall for it every-single-time no matter how much they deny it, and it's SOOO painful to the guys who don't do that because it's SO easy to see. i am very sorry if this is offensive in any way but from what i know that is a damn FACT...well whatever, guess ill just go back to getting the *everything will fall into place if you JUST be yourself, you will find the one* bullcrap advice because what else is there for a struggling guy like me???

[doppelgaenger]

You're so bitter.

With that attitude, you will never get laid.

[Boisdevie]

I'm a nice guy - and I get loads of sex.

[The Nice Guy849]

i've calmed down a little bit over it now, i was bitter about it because not only was it recent but it was just a build up of this over time with those dudes, at least i am HONEST about me not getting any, and i face reality unlike some other nice guys i know who live in fantasy land...i dont expect anyone really to understand, i guess i just honestly, REALLY needed to vent after that whole school experience, i DO have alot of bitterness towards those guys, and i will admit i have lost many girlfriends to guys like that, and as i said in my OP, i've BEEN trying to change myself(aka BETTER myself) and i guess in one way i JUST let my emotions get the best of me, i dont know, i just am trying to figure out how i can be a very attractive guy to any girl SO MUCH(because buried deep down inside me, i feel like i can pull it off...somehow...) that i actually am starting to think TOO much about it...but the question i keep asking myself is HOW? and how do i get past those stupid fake jerks that put on a fake charade for sex???(whereas if i dont get past it, it WILL happen...there's no denying that...)

so, i guess now that i got all of that out of my system, i guess im ready for all the insults directed at me for being so bitter about this whole thing, i guess to just realize my mistakes and try to move on. Reading it over i DONT sound like that IRL, it's moreso just my thoughts on paper, well anyway...yea, anything is welcome....

[xxazurexx]

YawwwwwNNN.

A thousand threads like this one - didn't you do a search before you decided to bore us with your whining?

[Petit Papillon]

Leave the highschool/college and you'll meet a lot of girls that have enough of jerks. In long run, it's better to be the nice guy.

[the_robot]

I'm beginning to wonder whether girls are attracted to jerks just because they are jerks or it happens because they are more confident than the "nice guys"...

[OkieDokie]

Don't worry about it. When I was your age I was like that ( 28 now, not like I'm THAT much older) and I met a girl that was like that too, not all that out going and kinda shy like me. Long story short we're getting a divorce now, so I've been going out with intentions besides watching the game or getting hammered. You just have to MAKE yourself talk to people you don't know, it is amazingly easy once you get into it and with that you'll get the confidence to do stuff the "jerks" do to get the girls to listen to them but you'll be the nice guy once they know you instead of a jerk. This is what I've done the last month or so, haven't gotten laid but I'm not really trying to either, just getting to know people outside of my friends that know me and the future ex wife.

Bottom line is, if you approach girls with the thought that they won't talk to you, they won't, people can feel that lack of confidence. That is the opposite attitude you need to have with ANYTIHNG you do.

[MynameisJesus]

It's the confidence, no doubt. I can quote hundreds of sources

[Take2]

I'm beginning to wonder whether girls are attracted to jerks just because they are jerks or it happens because they are more confident than the "nice guys"...

Yes, confident nice guys get as many girls as the confident jerks. And keep them longer than the jerks.

[the_robot]

So.... nice guys just need to get confident..

[Petit Papillon]

Yes robot Look at my bf, he's a nice guy ,but also confident <- THIS is sexy . Of course he gets to be shy sometimes, but this is just the sweet cherry on the top of that awesome cake.

Ideal guy : Smart, nice, confident and of course good looking