Jerks will always win...

[The Nice Guy849]

do you mean assertiveness like this?-

[url]http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtoassert.htm[/url]

cause if thats what it really is, i feel like itd jus make me sound more nice =/

[BeneathTheSun]

This is something I've read that I believe. Guys don't talk so much about feelings with eachother, they are more active, like playing videogames, pool, rock climbing etc. Girls on the other hand talk alot about feeling with eachother.

So when the "Nice Guy" meets a girl, he talks feelings with her and what happens? His behaviour is more like one of her girlfriends and he will never be the boyfriend.
The "Nice Guy" falls in love because talking about feelings is something that he doesn't do with his friends (not in a very big extent at least).

I think the Jerk is more active, if he meets a girl he doesn't talk about feelings, therefore his behaviour doesn't resemble her other girlfriends and she sees him as something else. I.E boyfriend.

I don't talk feelings with girls at first because I would freak out if I hear: "Why can't everybody be like you?" one more time.

[The Nice Guy849]

idk, i guess i will try to be more assertive and less nice about things, and ill try to drop the whole jerk thing, dont really know how itd affect a girls natural outlook on him anyway

[red_sparrow]

this is why a lot of guys become jerks.. they get fed up with being the nice guy and not getting laid.
some of them just get it down earlier. some will be jerks for a while, and then migrate to 'nice guy' territory because the chicks they're laying are shit.

[red_sparrow]

This is something I've read that I believe. Guys don't talk so much about feelings with eachother, they are more active, like playing videogames, pool, rock climbing etc. Girls on the other hand talk alot about feeling with eachother.

So when the "Nice Guy" meets a girl, he talks feelings with her and what happens? His behaviour is more like one of her girlfriends and he will never be the boyfriend.
The "Nice Guy" falls in love because talking about feelings is something that he doesn't do with his friends (not in a very big extent at least).

I think the Jerk is more active, if he meets a girl he doesn't talk about feelings, therefore his behaviour doesn't resemble her other girlfriends and she sees him as something else. I.E boyfriend.

I don't talk feelings with girls at first because I would freak out if I hear: "Why can't everybody be like you?" one more time.

that's because men don't HAVE feelings. -_- we're the only ones who actually worry about things.

[OkieDokie]

idk, i guess i will try to be more assertive and less nice about things, and ill try to drop the whole jerk thing, dont really know how itd affect a girls natural outlook on him anyway

That's all it takes, is being assertive and confident in yourself. You don't have to be a jerk to be confident and assertive.

[shadowMike4d4]

my advice:

Have your mom introduce you to the absolute youngest of her friends YOU can admit is attractive, why? Because getting experience with older women will help your confidence a bit. Plus....older women are generally smarter because they've dealt with all the "hot assholes" already...trust me I've met tons of women in their 30's that adore the nice guy type. Of course these women also define "being sweet" as just knowing how to talk about sex without sounding like a child. (in other words, speak in an intellectual manner*yes its possible* about what you want to do to them when alone lol)

Younger girls are generally going to go for the dicks because yes, mothering instincts...they think they can shape the clay when in reality, they are only trying to work with clay long since hardened by years of experience. Its just a sad sad instinct some women(yes not all) fall pray too.


But back to my original advice, get the youngest(30) of your mom's friends...maybe take her out and see what happens, DON'T start ranting like you did here of course but if you find an opening you CAN voice your concerns, older women in my experience are usually very accepting and understanding of a nice young guy's plight. You may not find something long standing with an older woman, but you'll gain great experience that will help you deal with the dumber younger ones. =)



note: not all young women are dumb, just quite a few of them. =)

[Take2]

Ew, what mother would set her kid up with one of her friends? What friend would bed her friend's kid?

[MynameisJesus]

Younger girls are generally going to go for the dicks because yes, mothering instincts...they think they can shape the clay when in reality, they are only trying to work with clay long since hardened by years of experience. Its just a sad sad instinct some women(yes not all) fall pray too.

Amen to that. And younger includes 24 year old women too. I don't think it depends on the age, but on the amount of times they have been used and dumped by these morons.
It is pure conditioning. One of the best female students in my class fell for one of those tards.

She already knew he was no good when she got with him but her motivation was

I know he has issues but I believe I can change him

That is the standard/most heard motivation for women to start a relationship. A mission to change somebody. "If I succeed in doing this, I must be really special"

She accepted the pain and misery for 3 years until she couldn't take the cheating anymore. She got depressed, lost weight and moved back home. All that misery for a moron who doesn't care. And on top of it all. If you look on her homepage it says " I will always love you "

Some women have sickening dynamics running in their heads

[shadowMike4d4]

Meh, I just think the OP should see what happens with an older woman...couldn't hurt, he's an adult in his 20's now.

Oh and yeah, that's really pretty sad a woman would do that...but chemistry has no mercy on our personalities, when our body chemistry attaches us to a person so strongly it hurts we can't help but never let go no matter what messed up shit they put us through.

She happened to suffer this, its sad...and a bit pathetic on her side that she apparently makes no attempt to move forward, but that's how it goes sometimes.

[the_robot]

Meh, I just think the OP should see what happens with an older woman...couldn't hurt, he's an adult in his 20's now.

The problem is not being with an older woman, but hooking up with her mother's friends..

[joneagle_28]

I am 100% serious! I am a former Hypnotherapist. I can give you so much confidence, it won't matter how you look. I use to be the same way growing up, and hypnosis changed my life. I feel for guys like you and will be willing to help you free of charge

[xxazurexx]

This is something I've read that I believe. Guys don't talk so much about feelings with eachother, they are more active, like playing videogames, pool, rock climbing etc. Girls on the other hand talk alot about feeling with eachother.

So when the "Nice Guy" meets a girl, he talks feelings with her and what happens? His behaviour is more like one of her girlfriends and he will never be the boyfriend.
The "Nice Guy" falls in love because talking about feelings is something that he doesn't do with his friends (not in a very big extent at least).

I think the Jerk is more active, if he meets a girl he doesn't talk about feelings, therefore his behaviour doesn't resemble her other girlfriends and she sees him as something else. I.E boyfriend.

I don't talk feelings with girls at first because I would freak out if I hear: "Why can't everybody be like you?" one more time.

I must be different because I like it when guys talk about feelings and be open with me.

Straight off the bat and what had endeared to my ex, was that he was a very open guy who shared EVERYTHING with me. I fell for him quickly....likely because he also physically appealed.

The only guy I'd friendzone, is a guy who wasn't physically appealing to my eye. Even if he was confident, he wouldn't stand a chance and if he wasn't physically appealing.

IMO, girls who don't fancy you, just aren't into you physically. Nothing to do with whether you are nice or not, confident or not.
If you are an ugly assertive guy who oozes confidence....you still won't get the girl and if you don't physically appeal to her eye.

Looks are always the initial attraction.....not whether you are nice or not, confident or not, etc.

[red_sparrow]

I must be different because I like it when guys talk about feelings and be open with me.

Straight off the bat and what had endeared to my ex, was that he was a very open guy who shared EVERYTHING with me. I fell for him quickly....likely because he also physically appealed.

The only guy I'd friendzone, is a guy who wasn't physically appealing to my eye. Even if he was confident, he wouldn't stand a chance and if he wasn't physically appealing.

IMO, girls who don't fancy you, just aren't into you physically. Nothing to do with whether you are nice or not, confident or not.
If you are an ugly assertive guy who oozes confidence....you still won't get the girl and if you don't physically appeal to her eye.

Looks are always the initial attraction.....not whether you are nice or not, confident or not, etc.

thats true.. its all about physical appearance. the smaller men, i find, tend to be the 'feeling' type.

[MynameisJesus]

I must be different because I like it when guys talk about feelings and be open with me.

Straight off the bat and what had endeared to my ex, was that he was a very open guy who shared EVERYTHING with me. I fell for him quickly....likely because he also physically appealed.

The only guy I'd friendzone, is a guy who wasn't physically appealing to my eye. Even if he was confident, he wouldn't stand a chance and if he wasn't physically appealing.

IMO, girls who don't fancy you, just aren't into you physically. Nothing to do with whether you are nice or not, confident or not.
If you are an ugly assertive guy who oozes confidence....you still won't get the girl and if you don't physically appeal to her eye.

Looks are always the initial attraction.....not whether you are nice or not, confident or not, etc.

Are you speaking for yourself or is this a general thing for women? AFAIK looks are far less important for women than for men.
Being tall/in good shape is not only physical but psychologically it adds to the equation that a man is able to protect a woman.