What should I do?

[merdene]

Hey guys, my gf broke up with me about 10 months ago. But I still can't get over her, and still love her so much. I know she's not coming back to me again. But everyday, I always think of her. The memories of us being together, it's all very painful to me but I fear I can never forget her. Please tell me advice on how to let go of her.

[Dean Kaplan]

Have you spoke to her or had contact with her during the 10 months you've been broken up?

[guitarjeff]

How old are you? broken hearts are a natural thing and we all will experience several of them during our adult lives. You will live through this.

[want2heal]

I totally understand the pain. My heart is still broken but is mending right now.. I have constant flashbacks of our past together... of him.. of the good times. But I have to let him go. I wasn't happy. Just ask yourself were you truly happy with her?? Did she make you feel good? Could you be yourself? If the answer is no, then let her go... Don't hang on. It's hard but we will all find happiness.

[SealedWithAKISS]

Hey guys, my gf broke up with me about 10 months ago. But I still can't get over her, and still love her so much. I know she's not coming back to me again. But everyday, I always think of her. The memories of us being together, it's all very painful to me but I fear I can never forget her. Please tell me advice on how to let go of her.

It takes time. I know it sounds cliche but it is true. Sometime we are so consumed with someone that we loose ourselves. TO be in love is a risk and you have to let your guard down. We all get hurt so know that you are not alone. What I do is write my thoughts down on paper with a pen. I also keep busy with positive activities and new experiences.

[smackie9]

Ya I agree with the above poster. You are basing this relationship as giving you a life, well only you can give yourself a life. You are spending too much of your time sitting moping about it rather than thinking of getting on with your life. You have friends, family, interests, etc that should be filling your time...10 months is way too long to be suffering. You suffer from drepression by any chance?

[Dean Kaplan]

You suffer from drepression by any chance?

I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt before I brought up depression. Similar to depression, having contact with your ex can prolong the healing as well, so I was looking for him to answer my question before I said what you did. Doesn't look like he wants to answer, though.

[bl20]

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

This is exactly what you should do. Remember how much fun you can have, people are instantly attracted to people who are fun, and if she see's this, she'll hate it.

[loveislost98]

Well 10 months is a long time... I know it's hard to let go it took almost a year to get over mine and I stil miss him...

[foreverxlove]

Honestly, I still love my ex and we broke up nearly 5 years ago. That's the reason I joined this site. Sometimes you can't forget until A-someone better comes around or B-they get back together with you.

I'm sorry.

[BeingAlpha]

You need to cut off all contact with your ex -- not because its some game you read online about no-contact and driving them nuts BUT because if you stay away from them it will be easier to forget about them. Even if they contact you -- you must ignore it. Stop living in the fantasy that they have somehow realized what they lost...note that point. They lost YOU...you did not lose them. If they truly truly love you and want you back - they will definitely show you a lot more than a simple IM or email.

I am especially good at forgetting - in fact I am at the point where I can not even remember what she looks like. It makes it easier to go out at night and talk to other girls / meet other people and not be constantly comparing. It also helps to remember -- consciously all the bad things that happened in the relationship -- I guarantee you it wasn't perfect...no relationship is. You probably ignored a lot of things about your ex -- was she boring in bed, did she freak out at the smallest little thing...

DO NOT reminisce about the good times - minimize those memories. The human mind is very powerful and you can in fact program yourself to reduce the yearning for her/him OVER TIME. You also need to program your mind to believe that you are a catch, that there are tons of other girls who would be happy to be with you. Additionally, well go out and date other people...everyone makes this sound SOOO easy -- meeting someone, anyone to go on a date with is REALLY hard. You have to be in the right place at the right time, the person has to be single etc.. On-line dating can also be really hit or miss, sometimes people don't take it seriously, sometimes people don't respond, sometimes people are non-paying members and frankly people are a lot more critical online than they are in-person. There are benefits to it -- no more right place at the right time thing... etc..

Good luck.

[merdene]

Well guys, I read all of your replies. I pretty much tried to make contact with her too many times. Everytime it was a failure. Right now I feel lost, and not sure what to do. I know 10 months is pretty long. But I can't help it. Well thanks for your advices.

[SelflessnHumble]

Hey guys, my gf broke up with me about 10 months ago. But I still can't get over her, and still love her so much. I know she's not coming back to me again. But everyday, I always think of her. The memories of us being together, it's all very painful to me but I fear I can never forget her. Please tell me advice on how to let go of her.

What happened, how long were you two together, how many GF's have you had, how many BF's has she had, how old are you two?

Based on your first post no on can tell you much of anything except the usual:
Keep busy, go out, meet new people, blah blah blah...

[SelflessnHumble]

Well guys, I read all of your replies. I pretty much tried to make contact with her too many times. Everytime it was a failure. Right now I feel lost, and not sure what to do. I know 10 months is pretty long. But I can't help it. Well thanks for your advices.

making contact with someone who dumped you is not very wise.
Especially since we still don't know what happened.

[merdene]

What happened, how long were you two together, how many GF's have you had, how many BF's has she had, how old are you two?

Based on your first post no on can tell you much of anything except the usual:
Keep busy, go out, meet new people, blah blah blah...

Well we were together for a year. I'm 22 and she's 18. For me I had several gfs before her, but neither of them made me feel the way I felt for her. I don't know how many bfs she had before me. But I bet it's not that many. I was her first man, and actually I was the first in many things in her life. Our break-up influenced my life. By dumping me she made me realize many things. Now I can say I'm completely different person than I was used to be. I just want her back. I know I did wrong things, and made her cry many times. I still love her so much, I hope she feels the same deep down. She hasn't contacted me for 10 months. I'm not sure if I can move on, and enjoy life without her. Coz everyday I miss her, especially when I'm alone.