abstract question

[jzsprinter]

Are girls into shy, quiet, reserved guys? I'm able to open up to people and be very social and friendly with them but I just have trouble taking that first step. I've only had 1 gf ever and I feel like since she was much more outgoing, she's used to approaching shy people and liked talking to me because I was shy.

[smackie9]

Sorry but instinctively girls go for guys with confidence. You have to learn to stop putting girls up on a pedistal and view them as just like anyone you know. I've coached many a shy persons, and it just takes practise and a change of attitude. You have to not care what others think of you. Once you are able to put the insecurity aside it's all wide open opportunity for you. Start by going up to girls that you don't find all that attractive so they don't intiminate you. Once you get comfortable with starting converstion, level up on nicer looking girls. Always start with "Hi how ya doin?" with a cocky undertone, and then just ask simple questions about themselves. like who are they friends with, what music they are into, blah blah blah. If you get a positive response, you ask them out or ask for their number and then ask them out. Do not do the let's be firends first so she might end up liking me....that doesn't work. All you will end up with is being in the friends zone. So start taking that first step and get used to approaching girls. You will be amazed with the results.

[xxazurexx]

I'm defo not into shy, quiet, reserved guys.

[Stina83]

I do think a lot of girls are into that, because shy guys are more mysterious I, personally, don't like guys who are too confident because they come off as arrogant a lot. So don't feel bad about who you are, there is someone out there for all of us

[jzsprinter]

Sorry but instinctively girls go for guys with confidence. You have to learn to stop putting girls up on a pedistal and view them as just like anyone you know. I've coached many a shy persons, and it just takes practise and a change of attitude. You have to not care what others think of you. Once you are able to put the insecurity aside it's all wide open opportunity for you. Start by going up to girls that you don't find all that attractive so they don't intiminate you. Once you get comfortable with starting converstion, level up on nicer looking girls. Always start with "Hi how ya doin?" with a cocky undertone, and then just ask simple questions about themselves. like who are they friends with, what music they are into, blah blah blah. If you get a positive response, you ask them out or ask for their number and then ask them out. Do not do the let's be firends first so she might end up liking me....that doesn't work. All you will end up with is being in the friends zone. So start taking that first step and get used to approaching girls. You will be amazed with the results.

I do have confidence but I don't know how to take the first step. I've been successful in so many things in my life except for dating and not being successful in that one thing just kills me.

[sangra]

Hello, hope you're good, I agree with Stina83, my boyfriend is very shy. I've never met anyone as shy as him but I really love that about him. I also dont like guys who are too confident for the same reason- because they often seem arrogant. I think being shy makes you more introspective and thoughtful and its always good to have a conversation with and get to know people like that. Maybe instead of trying to find someone who you can be in a relationship with straight away, find someone who you can get to know well before, then you may not be as shy as you would be if you decided you'd be interested in asking them out.

[chica]

I agree, girls like guys with confidence. And a girl can't fall in love with you if she doesn't know you exist! So you have to put yourself out there and start flirting. BTW, I love it when guys talk to me or make the first move. Then I usually feel more willing and carefree to talk to them. I know some guys feel intimidated, but the chances are that the girl will appreciate that you notice her and that you want to talk to her. She'll probably take it as a compliment.

There have been shy, quiet guys that I've found attractive but I've never approached them because, well, they have kind of an unapproachable vibe. And of course, being shy, they never approached me. So I would try to take more initiative. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to change who you are as a person. You can still enjoy the introverted things that you like doing.

[jzsprinter]

I agree, girls like guys with confidence. And a girl can't fall in love with you if she doesn't know you exist! So you have to put yourself out there and start flirting. BTW, I love it when guys talk to me or make the first move. Then I usually feel more willing and carefree to talk to them. I know some guys feel intimidated, but the chances are that the girl will appreciate that you notice her and that you want to talk to her. She'll probably take it as a compliment.

There have been shy, quiet guys that I've found attractive but I've never approached them because, well, they have kind of an unapproachable vibe. And of course, being shy, they never approached me. So I would try to take more initiative. Of course, this doesn't mean that you have to change who you are as a person. You can still enjoy the introverted things that you like doing.

Thanks for the answer. But aren't girls interested in guys to an extent where they'll maybe take some initiative?

[jzsprinter]

Hello, hope you're good, I agree with Stina83, my boyfriend is very shy. I've never met anyone as shy as him but I really love that about him. I also dont like guys who are too confident for the same reason- because they often seem arrogant. I think being shy makes you more introspective and thoughtful and its always good to have a conversation with and get to know people like that. Maybe instead of trying to find someone who you can be in a relationship with straight away, find someone who you can get to know well before, then you may not be as shy as you would be if you decided you'd be interested in asking them out.

Thank you for the wise advice! At least someone appreciates shyness lol

[red_sparrow]

my bf is an arrogant, outgoing SOB but to be honest it was what attracted me to him. i never liked the shy ones. but watch out -- sometimes these outgoing, loud types can have a temper.

[jzsprinter]

my bf is an arrogant, outgoing SOB but to be honest it was what attracted me to him. i never liked the shy ones. but watch out -- sometimes these outgoing, loud types can have a temper.

So better to be louder and more flamboyant?

[red_sparrow]

So better to be louder and more flamboyant?

yes

but don't compliment that with anger issues.

[jzsprinter]

yes

but don't compliment that with anger issues.

yes I know, it's just frustrating when you've done well in everything in your life except this one area