Seeing someone to make another girl jealous

[gasperm3]

There is a girl who I've been getting to know real well for the past 3 months now. However she has a bf. They have been together for about 5 months now. She is living here temporarily with her parents and is planning on moving out of her parents place (into her own place) in 5 months from now. Her job allows her to work from home so she can basically live wherever she wants. Her bf is in graduate school and graduating in 5 months from now, and afterwards he is unsure about where he will end up going.

She has told me several times now that she is unsure what will happen to the future of their relationship, as they will probably end up splitting up and going their seperate ways. But she really enjoys this area and all it has to offer, plus it is going to be real hard for her to end up moving far away from her parents.

Like I said we have become very good friends. I play tennis with her often and she has invited me out to do other things as well. I am sure she knows I have feelings for her. I gave her a gift for xmas and she loved it. She knows that I like her but that I cant make a move because she is in a relationship.

So what I am doing now is becoming unavailable to her. I'm going to stop contacting her and stop seeing her all together so that she has to chase me and ends up missing me. In the meantime I have been seeing someone. Eventually she will find out about this other girl and hopefully get jelous as I will be spending my time with her. But how far should I take it with her? If we get into a formal relationship would that be too much. Because in 5 months if she does indeed break up with him and ends up sticking around here I'm hoping she will get with me. But what if I'm in a relationship with this other girl?

[warriormaiden]

Why would you want to make this other chick jealous? You're wasting both your time and hers trying to hook up with this other girl, when you're really not in to her.

[gasperm3]

I never said I'm not interested in this other girl, we literally just met. I have no idea whats going to happen in 5 months from now. All I'm saying is that if I start spending all of my time with this other girl, and no time with the other girl then she is going to start missing me a little bit, then we wil see what happens from there.

[xxazurexx]

Be careful....games can backfire in your face.

[girl68]

poor other girl, she's being fully used.

[gasperm3]

I'm not using her! I may like this girl, I don't know yet. If anything we will just be friends, there's nothing wrong with that. I just feel like this is the best thing I can do for myself due to the situation that I am in right now. If I sit around and wait and hope that this girl does end up breaking up with him she is going to think I am desperate. But I am not desperate, I have other options.

[girl68]

So what I am doing now is becoming unavailable to her. I'm going to stop contacting her and stop seeing her all together so that she has to chase me and ends up missing me. In the meantime I have been seeing someone. Eventually she will find out about this other girl and hopefully get jelous as I will be spending my time with her. Because in 5 months if she does indeed break up with him and ends up sticking around here I'm hoping she will get with me. But what if I'm in a relationship with this other girl?

Right, you're not using her.

[Take2]

Seriously? Lie to me, I am a total stranger. And even lie to this other girl, despicable but not unusual. But dude? Don't lie to yourself. You are using the second girl to get the first girl. Own it and do it, or recognize it isn't fair and don't do it. But realize that pretending it isn't happening won't make it honorable and own your actions one way or the other!

[big]

wow what a playboy?

[tom84]

bad bad bad. Leave this girl alone, she is with someone else, and why are you with another girl if you can't fully give your heart to her because you are stuck on this other one? there are so many people hurt by cheating, and often times it isn't even because they got cheated on, but because their partner was cheated on in the past/in a past relationship and has problems. Cheating causes a ripple effect and causes pain the rest of the persons life. Don't contribute to this. Stop what you are doing.

[Allegedly Dave]

Sigh. You aren't cheating because, and it's a shame I have to point out the obvious like this but... you haven't committed yourself to ANYONE yet. However, I agree with another poster that said games can backfire. What you're attempting to do is reverse psychology and, in my experience, it can be the most powerful way to get attention. Some girls will just think "oh, well **** him then!" but others will indeed get jealous and attempt to earn or even DEMAND your attention. But it's always a crapshoot. Whether or not you should keep rolling the dice depends on how much you care about the girl you really want, and how much respect you have for her. If you just want to bang her, then what you're doing is probably the best move possible. If you want a serious relationship, it's much trickier. It's your call in the end but play this one very, very carefully...

[7th samurai]

grow up and stop playing games. i mean even if all goes according to your plan and you do get in a relationship with this girl that you like i'll bet you anything that it wont last.