Should I make my online relationship "real"?

[blackcat]

At first we met in person as friends, and developed our friendship online, since he lives in another continent. After one year we became really good and close friends. One day though, he told me he was feeling something more... I decided to give him a chance, and we started to be more intimate. We met again in a trip, and spent 30 days together.

For me it was the best days of my life, and I realized I loved him as much as I can love another human being... I felt he was the most perfect person for me. Apparently, he didnt feel the same... in fact, he used to feel that way before we met, and the bubble bursted or something... However, he claims he still loves me... We came back to our homeland, and continued being in a bizarre long distance relationship... however... it is not the same as before.

And well... with all this, I just dont know if I should go ahead and get serious with him... Of course I would love to develop more our relationship... but I just dont want him to get seriously bitter at me with time and dump me horribly... or even worse, to stay with me out of pity...

What do you think I should do?

[Take2]

If you prefer sex with women, you should find yourself a woman to date.

This man is not dedicated to making a lif with you, so adjusting your life to make it convenient for you to be together is NOT a good idea. In the end, he will leave you and you will be bitter about the unequal effort you propose to put into this relationship now. If you must find a man, find a different one. But I can't imagine that many gay guys are going to want a serious long-term relationship with a dude who prefers to have sex with women. I know I wouldn't want a serious long-term relationship with a dude who prefers to have sex with men. People really like to be your first-choice gender if you will be sexually exclusive.

[doppelgaenger]

It doesn't sound like a good idea to me. You just don't sound compatible, and I'm not convinced you're really into him, at least not as much as you're into discovering or fooling around with your own sexuality. Online/LD relationships are always difficult anyway, and not built to last.

[RockNRoll]

I think you shouldn't move. It's even better to back off for now. And take your time to figure out yourself and what you want in your life, as you are about to graduate.
Also, it's confusing that you prefer sex with women, and sex with that guy wasn't that great, but you are thinking to get very serious with him. Ok, sex is not the most important thing, but it should be satisfying (meaning that both are happy with how it is, even if you don't have any or whatever) as it's a big part of any romantic relationship, and maybe in this case it shows that you are better as friends?

Sounds like he will not appreciate the huge efforts you'll make to be with him, because he is not sure about your relationship.

It's easy to get illusions while online and also while long distant. Take your 25 days as the only 100% real thing.
Obviously, he didn't feel compatible enough at some aspects (emotional, etc, not just sex), as he changed and even told his concernes. And you know that yourself.

[blackcat]

I think i will tell him what I feel and give him an ultimatum... or maybe propose a "break" so that we can both think better about the whole situation...

[Boisdevie]

You have already stated that there are some big problems in the relationship yet you're considering moving half way across the planet to be with him and see if things work? Don't. It's an accident waiting to happen.

[Heartache]

Moving half way across the planet to be with him wont work if the foundation of the relationship is not strong. You really need to confirm your relationship first and understand what you really want. Because what if you get a bad surprise and been left alone in a foreign country alone? Please consider the necessary factor but nevertheless wish you good luck.