How to Bounce back and feel confident?

[chica]

Hi everyone I used to be pretty confident, and well, I think for the most part I still am. OK, maybe not so much. I mentally know that I can do things well (draw, sing, etc.) and sometimes this makes me feel like I'm very blessed to have such talents. However, I can't FEEL peoples' compliments as much as I used to. I'm trying to take things to heart but for some reason it's hard to really feel proud and think, "Oh wow, you're right! Thanks, I do have a great singing voice!" or something of the sort.

My mom passed away and my Dad loves me, but when I was younger my dad and I clashed a lot. Even though he loved me, I didn't feel supported and I didn't feel loved.

Now I'm starting to realize that a lot of my friends from high school don't seem to care about our friendships and it hurts. Sometimes I really want to spent time with them or talk to them but our schedules have gotten so hectic and some just don't seem to have an interest.

I try to actively pursue my future because I'm excited about the plans I have for it I'm excited to become a Spanish teacher and I would like to teach ESL abroad. I would also like to sell art on the side. I also try to take care of myself but sometimes it slips. I feel so much better about myself when I'm in shape and healthy....

But sometimes I feel somewhat depressed when I look at all my friends at college because the grand majority of them are in loving relationships. I would love to have a relationship like that, and it's hard when you look around you and you're reminded of what you don't have. I've been single for about two years (some months over two years actually) and I try to put myself out there. My last relationship was extremely painful, and over the summer I thought I was going to date this other guy. We had gone on a few dates but he never even called me back to discuss everything I fell pretty hard because all of our mutual friends also thought we were going to date.....and I felt pretty betrayed that he didn't even have the decency to return my call and not lead me on. And now, the guy that I'm kind of "involved with" isn't ready for a relationship but it's hard not to let my feelings rush ahead of me like I did with the other guy during the summer.

It seems like it's quite easy for my friends to meet boyfriends, but I don't know why it's so difficult for me. I know their relationships must have problems, but they seem truly happy together. And I know this sounds REALLY pessimistic but I feel like love is just something that wasn't meant for me because the more I search for it, the less I find it. Or "love" always is paired with stupid mind games or baggage or some other displeasing thing ....

I don't know how to not act desperate or stand-offish. I have so many other things in my life going for me but I don't know how to feel truly confident because I feel like I'm deffective in some way for not being able to get a boyfriend ( I feel like I scare them off or something ) And I don't know why almost virtually everyone else in my life can find a boyfriend that loves them and cares for them while I can't.

How do all you singles not feel frustrated and desperate after being so long without a relationship?
It's human to want to be part of a relationship; to love and receive love....and it's something that I want.
But I can't seem to get it....and I don't know why.

[Aniphilia]

This post would get more attention under the 'love advice' thread. Focus on your goals and buy some toys for yourself ( yeah.. those kind of toys).. really! And also seems like you might do well to delve into a spiritual pathway. From reading your post, Im feeling that it would suit you. And you have the time, as you are not concerning yourself with 'a signnificant other'. So you will have more time to grow and venture. When you are in synch you will undoubtedly draw to you someone who seems to come along at just the right moment.

Funny how that works.

Chin up

[confused_guy_b]

Don't fret there are plenty of people your age and older who are single and they have many great qualities. Sometimes it's the luck of the draw, sometimes maybe you have unique qualities that some don't see, and possibly you aren't attracted to the right people. You should never lower your standards because if you do then you will end up with some bumwho is all wrong for you. If this happens you will suffer for a long time until you decide your too good for this and who knows you might be pregnant by then.

My suggestion is to try an online dating site such as plentyoffish. It's totally free and easy to use. Even if you don't find someone it's a great way to build self confidence. Please know there are plenty of guys who think you are attractive and love your personality. Some people take awhile to come around and you seem to be in a gutter right now which won't help anything!

Yes your friends relationship more then likely have a lot of problems under the skin. Cheer up everyday is a gift and there is only one way to go and that is up! Don't allow yourself to go down.

Good luck! ~Brian~

[acloy]

I am not single, but I would like to share something

When i was still single, I used to think as the way you think now. But, it only makes thing worse. NEVER EVER feel depress and desperate for a relationship. Do you want a relationship fast or a long term relationship that can last long?

Before love other, you have to love yourself first. Be happy and feel content, that's the only way to attract a good guy to love you. Every man love girls with a sense of fulfillment. Don't try too hard, let it go naturally, i believe you will get it

Share my favorite quote with you: Don‘t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.