How to win my girlfriend back - Help Wanted

[pbj]

Here's the back story. We had been dating for three years, and a week after her birthday she broke up with me. She said she just needed to be single and free for awhile, having just started college and all. It was really hard, so hard that I still hung out with her the day after, and we ended up making out but she still didn't want to be together. She felt like it was something she had to do for herself. A week after she left me she got a tattoo and went on a date with a guy from work and ended up making out with her during the movie at the theater. That was hard enough. But the more I tried to get back, the more she said i was pushing her away.

About three weeks after she left, I saw her at school and we talked a little. She said her parents were getting her birth control and I wondered why because she wasn't having sex with her boyfriend anymore. That's when we told me she slept with two different guys in the three weeks we had been apart. That just tore me apart. She left the first guy when she met the second one (the first one which she still texts). She met the second one at a store and within the first week of knowing him they had sex 4 times. I never lasted very long in better, maybe 5 minutes or so, so I'm afraid that he's better and she'll think he's better.

Now the two of them are dating, and I she her post links on his Facebook wall of music videos that she first showed me, and her friends saying things like hes a good dance partner (she loved to dance and I never really did). He likes a lot of the same things I do, and plays the same games I do, from what I've seen on his facebook.. She told me he's a real gentleman, and said I wasn't holding the door open for her the past couple weeks, and how he's excited to see her and I didn't seem that way (but I saw her every day and things like the door fade after 3 years) She is really into video games and I feel like any guy would treat a girl nice, even more so if he got to sleep with her in the first week of knowing her. Of course he's excited to see her.

I have a friend that knows the guy and says he's a douche and uses girls for sex, and a few girls I've talked to about it say they've been hit on by him at the store. But she seems so happy right now and doesn't seem to miss me at all, we haven't talked in about a week now. I think she just got bored with me, since we hadn't really been doing much lately like going out, so this new guy is exciting. Even though everyone is telling me I need to move on and find someone else, I can't help who I love. I really want to get back together with her. We always talked about getting married and having kids and I just can't give up on that yet. I'm just at a loss of what to do...

[xxazurexx]

You may really want to get back with her, but that won't happen and unless she wants to come back to you - and at the minute she doesn't.

Am guessing one reason she ended your relationship was to start dating this guy at her workplace. The usual reason why they end things suddenly, is because there is a new love interest on the scene. Obviously that didn't work, she didn't return to you and she went on to bed two other guys.

It's likely one of those instances where yes you are right, things grew dull and it became routine. You likely were not paying her the attention she wanted and probably without realising you weren't. It's like my dad used to say to my brothers 'If you don't pay a woman attention, she will seek it elsewhere and there is always some other man who will pay her attention'....

I don't know what else to suggest other than to keep well away from her and let her continue on in this relationship with the douche. If he is reknowned for using females for sex, it's only a matter of time before he gets bored with her and moves onto the next piece of skirt.

[brokenheart20]

iam in the same situation, but my girlfriend aint officialy seeing anymore now ,she broke up with me and came up with a lame excuse that she didnt love me anymore. but I think shes lying
one guy she was interested in way before me came back to town recently and i started noticing that after that she started acting a little bit weirrd. i asked if she'd met someone else
she said No but i am pretty sure she got infatuated with that dude even though he doesn't live here anymore, he lives in another town now but he always visits his family.
i know the pain you're feeling. it's hard to move on i wish i could give you a better advice

[Dean Kaplan]

You know what to do. Go No Contact and allow yourself to get over her. Doesn't sound like she has much regards for your feelings. Why would she tell you about her having sex with other guys? Sounds like she doesn't care much about your feelings. That's just wrong in my opinion.

[pbj]

Thanks for all the feed back everyone. I've been trying to no contact thing, but it's really hard. I keep checking facebook, etc. and seeing things like him saying how awesome his life is, telling her to "stop being so comfy" etc. She sent me a text today asking if i blocked her from facebook, which i did. I thought it would help but I still log on her page.. I've realized what I was doing wrong, I just wish I had a chance to show her that, I'm just afraid now it's too late and I won't get that chance. I've even thought about sending flowers to her at work for valentines day, or leaving an orchid on her car, they are her favorite..

[doppelgaenger]

This girl has daddy issues, and trust me, you do not want to go back with her, no matter how much you love her.

[pbj]

Everyone has been telling me that. That I deserve better and I need to move on but I don't want to. I don't care if she's the worst girl for me, she's the only one I want. I can't find anyone else interesting without thinking of her. Is there anything I can do to win her back? Or do I just have to wait it out until they break up, because maybe shes just caught in the moment of something feeling fresh and new..

[SelflessnHumble]

First, you cannot control her actions nor influence her decisions...She is not YOURS.
2nd, She told you face to face she no longer wants to be with you: your relationship has run its course and she wants NEW and better experiences.

3rd, you are allowing your excuses for not moving on to torture you and play you for the fool.
4th, it's NONE of your business if he's a cheat, a user nor a douche...None.

While it's true you can't help who you fall in love with:
You became too attached, didn't treat her in the way she wanted to be treated (due to your own inexperience) and she wanted out.
You won't get her back, especially with your self pity, and hurt attitude.

This is what you have to realize:
When a girl tells you "I'm so in love with you" -it's the verbal expression of "feeling" secure in the relationship.
When she tells you "I love you so much" it's the verbal expression of her physical expression giving you sex.

Love is an emotion which is a feeling: which is organic...meaning it CAN change. -because people change.
You aren't in love with HER anymore...you're in love with the way you two "USED" to be.
Get inside that time machine dude, and come to the present...what do you see?

Sleeping with multiple partners, having men who are better suited to her wants/needs than you ever were...
^^^THIS is who she is now...not who she was. -That ship set sale. She *wanted* to marry you THEN. -not now, more than likely not ever.

The more experiences she has: the more she will find out even more about herself she never knew...You must do the same!

Getting over someone isn't that hard once you get off your self-defeating choices: and see the truth for what it really is/was:
She wants more than what you are capable of providing, she wants to experience more than you could ever give her...This is perfectly fine.
Nothing is forever and everything DIES. Life is all about how you deal and cope with variable change. See?

You've given up: hence you're "at a loss of what to do" comment.
Stop investing so much of yourself inside of just ONE person. This is what happens.

[smackie9]

Relationships come and go. You are young and you should be enjoying these years of your life having different experiences and having fun. There will be plenty of time to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Trust me, marriage is no picinic, so enjoy this time you have while you can.

[RockNRoll]

Everyone has been telling me that. That I deserve better and I need to move on but I don't want to. I don't care if she's the worst girl for me, she's the only one I want. I can't find anyone else interesting without thinking of her. Is there anything I can do to win her back? Or do I just have to wait it out until they break up, because maybe shes just caught in the moment of something feeling fresh and new..

If you don't find anyone interesting - be single for a while. I am sure after some time you'll be more interested in your happiness and being with someone else, who is actually good for you. It is all about time.

Why would you want to be someone miserable, who waits around untill she breaks up with her new guy? Keep your self-respect!

[thrillaveza]

I'm a couple of years older than you and was in a situation rather similar to yours. What you need to do is probably the hardest thing, an easier said than done thing, a thing that will pick you up. You need to erase all social contact of her or friends of hers, go out and be sociable, enjoy a few drinks, learn how to play an instrument, find a new hobby, work out (it builds up self confidence and self respect); basically anything that will keep you busy and help forget about her. Perhaps sometime along the line she MIGHT come back, but with that said it can be a 'just-a-friend' thing. I learned from what happened to me is to never get your hopes up and just keep moving forward.

[Heartache]

I think no matter what the other say, you still wont forget her. You have a choice to make and if you insist on getting her back. Hope this free video on how to get her back will help. Good Luck.

[URL="http://bit.ly/makingup3"]Free Video on how to get back your ex.[/URL]

[Aniphilia]

oh man, i would just flip if i found out my ex lied about why he broke up with me. But, it also wouldnt surprise me at this point. This behavior is seen more in the youngins but it still happens to the mid to older generations. my friends uncle just up and left his wife of 30 years after buying a yacht with her and said he wasnt in love anymore and wanted a new life. Yes, a big ass yacht and with her, for them. Then left. Probably even w/o the yacht and the house! People are crazy (for better lack of a word). And you are so going to get out there and work your good intentions and acts of genuine kindness right? You will use this pain to better yourself.

[Big Col]

To be honest my friend I would not, she is no longer your girlfriend. I have recently been finished with by girlfriend of 2 years saying she is unsure what she wants, I have said my piece and will leave her to it. I think you have said and done all that you can, I would break your ties with this girl, she is rubbing salt into the wounds.

Though it's very hard, you need to focus on something other than your ex, do things that you want to do, keep your self busy and active, that is what I am going to do.

Hope that helps.

Col

[jb1111983]

Dude, it's clear you want her back badly but you're very unlikely to be happy with her. And if you really love her you must let go. The more you try to win her the more you'll lose your chance of having her back. The only way you can get her back is if she comes back to you on her own.