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Thread: Love triangle? Male and female advice appreciated. I am male.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2

    Love triangle? Male and female advice appreciated. I am male.

    First of all I'd just like to say that am new to this forum and haven't used any of it's type. I am an 18 year old male engineering student, and while very intelligent I have a hard time reading people, and poor at social ediquitte sometimes.

    So heres the scenario, in first year engineering everyone takes the same courses regardless of your intended field. I have a group of friends and theres 5 of us in all. Now for the complex part... One of us is a girl, who I happen to be very attracted to. We've all been friends for a few months now, and we are getting pretty bonded. So far I haven't made a real defined move to show that I feel the way I do. Neither has she sent any signals that I could pick up that she would be interested that way. However, the part that eats at me the most is that she seems more interested in another one of my friends. Now the obvious part is that he doesn't seem interested in being more than friends with her, and he is always talking about getting other girls around her, and trust me, he's the type of guy that would make a move by now. The delicate part of all this is that I don't want to rock the boat because things are going so well within the group. Options I've considered are: subtly hinting that i like her and see how she responds, leveling with my male friend and ask for advice, or just letting things run their course and probably losing altogether. The biggest problem is that this is eating away at me while so much is happenening and I just need to let it out! The main thing that is difficult is I can't read if she is really interested in him or not, simply because they are together often, but they have many courses together, and a buddy and me are constantly together just because we have courses together, too. Sorry I have written so much, there is more to this, but I just want any advice at all to be frank.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    128
    I suggest getting her alone, and trying for a subtle, light conversation that asks her if she'd be interested in doing anything more with you alone. Or just ask her to the movies or something. And if she suggests bringing others along, you say that you'd rather go with her alone. No girl I know wouln't be flattered, and if she says no, you'll know what you're up for. IF she says yes, then on the night you can see how she feels about you. If needed, ask her. Don't worry about the group of friends. Do you want to be stuck with regrets you never tried anything with this girl? Friends are easily found, love, maybe less. Don't worry about the other guy, it's you two that count. And in college, it's easy to just hang out with guy/girls even without feeling anything more for them, I know.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2
    First of all, I would like to thank you for leaving your thoughts. I noticed I've gotten views, but nobody was replying. Second of all, I wholeheartedly agree with what you are saying. This actually dawned on me a little while ago and was going to give it a shot. Your words have motivated me even more to not let this slip without at least a proper try. We have quite a lot in common and she's quite low-key like myself. The hardest bit has been trying to tell her thoughts because she is so friendly to everyone around her,
    Thanks,
    HeartOfGold

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    207
    Ask her out. Raven Skye gave a good advice on how to do it.
    Why would she consider you as a date if you have never asked her out? Give her a chance to get another perspective on you.

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