How do I break up with my girlfriend in the most respectful way?

[madskier89]

Well I have gotten a point where I can no longer deal with my girlfriends insecurities. I feel that I have done everything I can and then some but it still seems to not be enough. It sucks but I've accepted it. We are young so it was bound to happen anyways right?

I am not sure of the best way to go about this. I want to be as respectful as possible, but here is the dilema. We live about an hour apart. First, I don't want to make her drive an hour down to my house just for me to break up with her. I also live with a roommate so most likely him and his girlfriend would be home so again, I don't want her to come down and break up with her in front of them. Her house is tough too. Her younger sister and mom are always there. I don't want to go up to her house and break up with her with her mom and sister right there. It feels very wrong for me to do it that way.

I thought maybe I'd go up to her house, call her when I'm almost there and have her come out to my car - then go for a drive to let her know.

What do you guys think?

[xxazurexx]

I thought maybe I'd go up to her house, call her when I'm almost there and have her come out to my car - then go for a drive to let her know.

^^This.

[Aniphilia]

Agreed. But expect a retort as she will not want to lose you Im thinking. Would you do the take a break thing or did you already try that? I know, your young. But I can tell you that a pair of my friends have been together since senior year and are strong as ever with their two teenage daughters. Just wanted you to have that knowledge I guess. I suppose I am a romantic? And albeit was a looong time ago but my grandparents have been together since they were 14 and 16 (married a couple years later)

This probably doesnt help

[mindinfuture]

You can even write a nice email. Two people do not really have to meet if they want to break up. Are you springing this up suddenly on her? Or does she know it is coming?

[Mongoose]

^ It depens how long they have been going out and how serious the relationship is. Short-term casual: email wouldn't be so bad; anyting else: email is impersonal, immature, and inconsiderate.

[madskier89]

I think it will be a surprise to her.

We have been hanging out with each other for almost a year. While I don't consider it a serious relationship, I believe it is somewhat serious for her. From shes told me she has had "boyfriends" but they weren't "real" boyfriends (they were more casual because she was afraid to get hurt). I think me and a guy she dated many years ago are her only serious boyfriends and the other guy really hurt her.

I haven't even thought of "taking a break". I've never done that before, it always seemed like a cope out to truly breaking up. Plus, her insecurity problem will always be a problem. I'm sure if I "took a break" I would miss her but as soon as I came back her insecurities would come up again, I'm sure of it.

This might be low of me, but I feel like if she was my wife I would really, really try to work through her problems, but, at this stage/age in my life I don't know how much I should really put up with.

[sweetkissesforu]

You can even write a nice email. Two people do not really have to meet if they want to break up. Are you springing this up suddenly on her? Or does she know it is coming?

So tacky to email or why not a sticky note both bad ideas

[ashley89]

she would have alot more respect for you if you broke up with her face to face, try the drive thing. it's going to hurt and suck regardless, but sending an e-mail/text/calling is extremely tacky and will make her think that you didn't love or respect her enough to even break up with her the right way

[VincenzoG91]

No breakup sex unless she initiates it.

[twinrexes]

Yeah, if you want to be respectful do it face to face and on her turf. At least she can run right home to her mom, and won't have had to drive over to you and back (probably in tears). With her insecurities this is going to be really hard for her to take and she's not going to want to let go. Good luck.