She said she needs 1 week, what do I do?

[Nineball]

My ex and I have been trying to work things out since she broke up with me. She's 21 and I'm 26. She also has a 3 year old daughter who I love very much. When she broke up with me, she said she had no intentions on getting back with me. A week passed and we ended up hanging out. That's when everything changed. She felt so happy to be around me and we both realized we cannot commit to not having each other in our lives.

We've been trying for a month now, and I felt like progress wasn't being made. So we talked about it. I told her how I know what's been going on (I found out she's seeing another guy while we're trying to work on things). She was completely honest with me and did not hide anything. She told me she was only seeing him for sex and it was clear between them that there would be no strings attached. She told him all about me and how we were trying to work things out.

I told her we cannot work on things if you're going to be seeing somebody else and then I asked her if she still wanted to work on this. At first, she said no...that she enjoyed being single, having her freedom, being 21, and not having to worry about a guy in her life. A minute of silence passed between our tears, then her lips began to tremble and I could see that it took every ounce of strength in her to say "But I also can't let you go..." She went on to say how we were meant for each other, that I am the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, and that for the first time in her life she knows what true love is, but that I came into her life at the wrong time.

She said she has made many mistakes in her life and doesn't want me to be one of them. So she asked me to do her a favor and give her 1 week to cut ties with this guy and give herself time to think about what she wants.

I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. My question is...if the worst should arise and she still wants to be single, should I keep her in my life by remaining friends? Or should I cut her off completely? It will be hard either way because I will always have feelings for her more than a friend and if I cut her off completely, it's also hard for me to think about living life without her in it.

[Aniphilia]

Oh brother, well shes honest I will give her that, although only after you called her on it, but still... honest.

Your mutual feelings seem genuine. And I hate to say it but at this point feelings change with the tides. Did you take psych 101? The human brains frontal lobes arent even done developing until mid twenties when its said you then should have all your decision processes stabalized/inhibitions and the sort. I just had to throw that in their. Ugh what a tough choice. I will call it that a week is not enough for her. Taking time to let eachother grow w/o emotionally taxing yourselves will give you a better chance in the future, I think. And I should of taken this advice for myself a couple years back!! Even if you do find someone else to date and she does too doesnt mean you wont have a future with her. I have realised that and I am 35! If you can do it, so can I. And there is no window of opportunity here as it is too soon. A good Tablespoon of prevention is needed here. But then, that may not be your style.

[RockNRoll]

Cutting her off might be better for you.
I think both of you have a weak will power and, also, she is messing you around. So she has "just sex" (you seem to be calmed down with that?!) with him, recently after your break up, but she can't let you go?!
Wait for a week first.
How can you be her friend if you think that you'll want more?

[speakerspoke]

Having barely skimmed this my advice for you would be to sleep with her friend and then start dating girls who aren't selfish douches.

[Nineball]

How can you be her friend if you think that you'll want more?

Exactly my point. But I also have a hard time imagining my life without her in it. So too, I must make a choice in a week whether or not to have her as a friend or to cut her off.

[HeartIsAching]

1. She wasn't "honest" with you. She only told you the truth after you confronted her with it.

2. She's bangin' some other guy, and you seem unphased by that. If true, you're a world champion in the security department, and it's obviously unearned as she's bangin' some other guy for a reason.

3. If she really loved you and didn't want to abuse you and your trust, she wouldn't be bangin' some other guy.

It's time to move on. I'm sorry you've developed a relationship with her daughter, that'll be tough.