I want to be his friend

[frog132]

Hey! I'm new here, and I need some advice!

So I'm now in college, but I have liked this guy for about 5 years now. It started out as a high school crush. I was hoping we would end up going to different colleges so the distance will help me forget about him, but coincidentally we ended up going to the same college...so I see him sometimes and I can't get over him.

In the time I've known him, he's had three or four girlfriends and dozens of other girls fawning over him...he was one the popular ones at our school. I have never had a guy notice me/ask me out before- I was one of the shy ones.

He's very intelligent, very very handsome, athletic, and seems to come off as confident and cool. I got to really know him senior year, and he has always been very nice to me. I thought because he was so confident he would be easy to talk to, but he's very reserved actually. Sometimes I get him to lighten up and we end up making fun of each other. Our mutual friends have seen us interacting with each other and many of them say we would be a cute couple. But I feel like he is out of my league...I know he is out of my league.

His past gf's were all very beautiful, I don't feel he is attracted to me romantically/physically. I've heard from his bros that he respects me and thinks I'm intelligent and kind...but I don't know if he will ever like me.

I feel our relationship is that of a friendship that is deep when we see each other, but if we don't we are just acquaintances (does that make sense)?

I love him because I just want him to be happy and light, and break out of his shell. Having a romantic relationship would be a dream come true, but all I really want to do is open him up and laugh with him. That's it. That's why I think I love him. Somewhere deep inside, I feel like it will happen one day. But until then, after all these ramblings, I have a couple questions...


When I ask him questions, his answers are short and he never asks me anything back creating a stalemate. I know his interests, but he just doesn't talk about them much. He does this over text too, I can never casually text him, he never replies. How can I get him to open up? I genuinely want to be his friend, a really good friend.

How can I catch his romantic/physical attention?

And lastly ow can I get past him if nothing ever happens between me and him? I feel like I have invested such a large portion of my life to him.

Thanks!

[RockNRoll]

You are right, you are investing too much time, thoughts and energy into him, while he doesn't seem to be interested.
That's not a good idea to be friends in a hope for something more. And friendship usually comes natural. Sometimes we need to accept things, even when you want more

You can drop a hint about your friends seeing you as a possible couple, and get his opinion on that. If he backs off, it might help you to move on.

[BrownDog52469]

It sounds like you have a good friendship. Good friends are hard to find and friendships require time and attention to develope and last. Sure you want to go beyond the friendship phase; we've all been there. You can't force it to happen though. If it does, it does. My advice would be to maintain and nurture the friendship; you'll always have that. Don't spend all your time and attention obsessing over him though. Get yourself out there and start getting interested in other people. Honestly, the thing that will likely grab his attention is when he sees you with another guy and realizes that you are beautiful. At that point, who knows, you may have found somebody better :-)