What Do I Do Now?

[Banjoman]

I must be just really bad at relationships or something, I truly don't have very much experience. This is the third time I have come seeking advice about the same girl. Different situations each time though. I will give an abbreviated history.

So I was good friends with this girl in high school after we were introduced by my then girlfriend. After me and my girlfriend broke up I continued being good friends with his girl and had a crush on her for a little while but never acted on it. She later revealed to me that she also had a crush on me at that time. I graduated in 2004 and we lost touch. We still talked every once in a while but not often until about August of 2010. We started texting each other very often and my old feelings flared back up but she was dating around at the time trying to stay casual and I knew of 3 or 4 different guys she was casually seeing. At the end of September she told me that she loved me and that it was deeper than friendship. Naturally I was all in and for a week we saw each other almost every day and it was great. Then on Friday night she told me that she really didn't want to lose me and that this was a mistake and we should stay close friends.

I was hurt but I tried to do as she said. But whenever we hung out (which was not often due to our crazy work/class schedules) she was real cuddly and all over me really (which is not how she was when we were friends). Eventually we ended up "accidentally" kissing every time we hung out and I finally talked to her about this. And she said, "I can't be in a relationship right now" and we went on and on and eventually ended it as we are just friends.

But nothing really changed we just had one of these talks every week because she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Finally around the beginning of December it happened again except this time I kissed her. And that seemed to change her attitude towards it and we decided to not try to stop it. But we still weren't in a relationship because she had told me that she couldn't be in one. I really like her and would like to be in a relationship with her but I haven't asked because she said she can't be in one. So should I ask her to be my girlfriend and risk messing this up again or should I just enjoy what we're doing and let her come to me when she's ready for one? It's been a few months now since she told me she couldn't be in one and she has said maybe twice (very spread out) that she hates being single. But she said that right after she ditched me the second or third time too.

Any advice would be appreciated!

[RockNRoll]

How strange. Why can't she be in relationship?!

[smackie9]

She hate's being single?.....dude she is using you to fill in the void until she meets someone that is BF material. When she said she doesn't want a relationship, that means she's keeping her options open.