when you are in love

[natilie]

ok I admit it us women can be slightly out of touch with reality when you are in love. wanting the whole "fairy tale" experiance. but we are right in knowing things are diff reguarding true love. when a man loves me unconditionally i can see it inthe way he looks at me. right?? now, i'm not talking about someone I just meet. but they special someone you have been with for quite a while. that person you know has your back, no matter what. true sencerity is seen just by looking into someones eyes. would you guys argee??

[xxazurexx]

So, you want to know if your long term, live in partner who chats up other women online, compliments them and asks them to coffee, is being sincere and because of the way he looks at you???

Are you for 'real'????

[vashti]

Don't be silly! It's in his kiss.

[MynameisJesus]

when a man loves me unconditionally i can see it in the way he looks at me. right??

Just go out and try to look every guy in the eye. Look a little bit longer than you normally would.
You'll see a lot of unconditional love and special someones. I just call it insecurity

[HeartIsAching]

You've lost your friggin' mind.

[smackie9]

That twinkle in their can mean anything. It can't be determined by the way he looks at you but by his actions towards you. P.S. fairytale relationships are not real.

[Take2]

Nope. A guy who is in love with you WILL look at you in a special way. But a guy who wants you to believe he is in love with you will look at you the same way. Sorry. It's not magic, it's a look-just a particular facial expression. If sincerity vs. deceit could be determined just by looking in someone's eyes, surely there would not be so many successful cons and cheats? Of course we like to believe we will "just know" the truth, but in the end it comes down to trust and faith, not any sure-fire test we can perform.

Also, there is no such thing as unconditional romantic love. Romantic love is hard work, two people dedicated to the cause of making it last and grow. Everyone has their point of no return, like many people could never forgive an affair and most people could not forgive physical abuse, but even people who could forgive those things have SOME point past which they will not go. Ever heard of a wife putting up with years of abuse and then leaving the day the father finally turns his fists on their child? Even a person who has been demoralised and broken and accustomed to the very worst treatment and still continued to love the creep, there is still a line in the sand. In my experience, people who want to believe in "unconditional, forever, no matter what" love do NOT want to put the effort forth to actually have a sustained real-life love.

[GK001]

No with the eyes lol but actions speak louder then words. If some 1 is true to you it would be unconditional for the first few month(honeymoon period) then always be there for you later. there is no way to sustain the honeymoon period. at the end of the day its living your every day life with the person; giving, understanding, trust (goes both ways)。
people do change through their life but its the process i mentioned before that make it last. love can only take you so far. finding some 1 that's true, financially secure(doesnt have to be bling daddy), sharing and enjoying common goal/interest in life should be the foundation. some one who can make you laugh isnt always the right one. many girls fall for a clown.

we are talking logic here but love is blind.people make dumb ass mistakes, by the time they realize it might be too late. my friend has a very healthy relationship with his gf by talking to his friends about their lives and asking them on their perspective (which is a reality check once in a while).

[MynameisJesus]

Nope. A guy who is in love with you WILL look at you in a special way. But a guy who wants you to believe he is in love with you will look at you the same way. Sorry. It's not magic, it's a look-just a particular facial expression. If sincerity vs. deceit could be determined just by looking in someone's eyes, surely there would not be so many successful cons and cheats? Of course we like to believe we will "just know" the truth, but in the end it comes down to trust and faith, not any sure-fire test we can perform.

Also, there is no such thing as unconditional romantic love. Romantic love is hard work, two people dedicated to the cause of making it last and grow. Everyone has their point of no return, like many people could never forgive an affair and most people could not forgive physical abuse, but even people who could forgive those things have SOME point past which they will not go. Ever heard of a wife putting up with years of abuse and then leaving the day the father finally turns his fists on their child? Even a person who has been demoralised and broken and accustomed to the very worst treatment and still continued to love the creep, there is still a line in the sand. In my experience, people who want to believe in "unconditional, forever, no matter what" love do NOT want to put the effort forth to actually have a sustained real-life love.

I agree. It surprises me every day how many people of my generation still believe in "unconditional" and "forever". I realized those words should be removed from my dictionary when I was 20

[Kaius]

Judge him by his actions, not the way he looks at you. Some dudes, especially the slick ones (like how I was in college), could totally convince any girl that she's THE ONE.
That was how I took all those v-cards in college....too many to remember. Those girls were usually very insecure and inexperience, so I was able to manipulate their feelings.
Once I slept with them, I would lose interest and move on. Yes I was a jerk back then, and I have changed completely. Would never want to deceive another girl again.

[I'mGoingCrazy]

I would say, for me, when I am totally in love with a woman, and I'm really, really feeling it, I become very insecure and jealous. Once I get to that point in the relationship, where she's been around too much, and I'm starting to take her for granted, the thought of her out with another guy doesn't seem to bother me as much. For me, the test would be jealousy and insecurity. But I would not recommend that you intentionally trigger emotions of jealousy in him. He might assume there is something going on, keep his emotions bottled up, and start to detach emotionally. That's what I do. I see something that triggers my sixth sense or makes me wonder if I really trust the girl, and the next thing you know, I sleeping with another woman and breaking up with the girlfriend. So I DO NOT recommend running psychological experiments to see how he reacts. Because these experiments will destroy trust. What's really going on behind closed doors doesn't matter...what really matters is what is BELIEVED to be going on behind closed doors.

[Take2]

I would say, for me, when I am totally in love with a woman, and I'm really, really feeling it, I become very insecure and jealous. Once I get to that point in the relationship, where she's been around too much, and I'm starting to take her for granted, the thought of her out with another guy doesn't seem to bother me as much. For me, the test would be jealousy and insecurity.

That's horrible advice. It would only work if everyone were dating you. I have been head over heels in love more than once, and I didn't become very insecure and jealous. Nor did the guys who loved me. And actually, as I mature and grow, I become less and less insecure in love. If the only way a guy could show me he loved me was by acting jealous and insecure...I'd just stay single and happy.

[natilie]

rough crowd. in my own defense this post is not all related to my last. so now that I have moved out of my bf's place into my cousins. i find, she has as men issues reguarding men as me. lol...she recently had dinner w/ an ex. and was explaining that even after 4 yrs. she can still see his sencerity in his eyes. but your right maybe she is just having 2nd thoughts abouth them splitting. or perhaps she is just lonesome. and, all though the advice above is horribe i wouold agree some men do just act plan silly when they are in love. this behavior may include jelousy and insecurity. at least regarding my brother, whom pushes women aways once he gets he truely falls.

[SelflessnHumble]

ok I admit it us women can be slightly out of touch with reality when you are in love. wanting the whole "fairy tale" experiance. but we are right in knowing things are diff reguarding true love. when a man loves me unconditionally i can see it inthe way he looks at me. right?? now, i'm not talking about someone I just meet. but they special someone you have been with for quite a while. that person you know has your back, no matter what. true sencerity is seen just by looking into someones eyes. would you guys argee??

Unconditional love means: Love without "yeah, but" or "he's perfect, if only he'd" you know: Conditions!

A person that has your back doesn't mean unconditional love (necessarily)
For some people: looking into someone's eyes of a sociopath (who are often, attractive, charming and romantics) could mean you're being fooled by infatuation.
Many girls obsess over the thought of feeling in love.

When things are brand new: everything looks, feels, smells and even tastes *perfect* (if there is such a thing)
Everything works out, all things slide right into place, you finish each others sentences, you smile at the same things, have plenty in common...
And, the chemistry you two have is just off the charts nuclear!

Then, once reality sets in (and the fantasy) dissipates...You begin to see these people for who they truly are (as they will you)
Your perception will change...how much will depend on how infatuated you are with them and vice versa.

See, many people will tell you that love without conditions is *stupid* BUT what they don't seem to see is that they pick
and choose the wrong people to reveal their inner most thoughts/feelings and emotions...If you can't see people for who they are
and appease their bad behavior(s) without addressing them: this is a bad foundation to build upon a loving relationship.
Because once you don't like something about someone: you already missed the boat in telling them when it first bothered you, and they
will think you are just overreacting because you didn't take the time to address your concerns with open and honest communication (another requisite for true love)

In unconditional loving relationships: there isn't any yelling, no fighting/arguments...There are natural disagreements *due to your differences* but
If you cannot sit down with the person you love/loves you without humility, compassion, kindness, patience and understanding then there IS a problem regarding the veracity of this "love" you feel.

To really attack this:
Let's say your emotions and the entire relationship goes perfectly without a hiccup...
Then he suddenly gets drunk, beats you and/or sleeps with your roommate...

What would you do in this situation...Do you leave him? Do you stay? Do you even let him explain (his blatant disregard for him shitting on your relationship) ?
Does he B-lame you pushing him away for his need to sexually pleasure himself with another woman? Does he B-lame the alcohol? Does he take responsibility and admit he's a cheat? (even though you caught him?)

If you look at "unconditional love" chances are you'd see that at face value: you should stay with the man you love unconditionally, right? (Not to me) Here's why:
Both of you made a commitment: Now, a mistake means they did something by accident or unintentionally, right? K, but what he did was premeditated at some point. How so?
However if he breaks that commitment with his actions that weren't just accidental (meaning with intent) -no excuse can fix this bullshit lie- Unless you tacitly agree his behavior is good with you.

NOTHING in life "just happens." When I cheated and used this tired ass excuse I knew within (seconds) meeting my girl's roommate I wanted to bang her.
A situation presented itself, I consoled her (because I loved to proclaim I can be the hero type who is there for anyone) and even though she kissed me first, I had a choice: I made that choice. I cheated.
The sad thing is, while I did feel bad about it (afterward, not during penetration, obviously) my girlfriend was SOOOO devoted to me, and truly loved me....But did I care? Nope. Not enough to stop what I allowed to happen.

All I'm saying is it's feels wonderful to be in love and great when someone feels the same way.
Love, feelings and emotions are organic: they are living things and are subject to change without notice...

So, please just don't give "all" of yourself to someone...
I don't mean make them work for it like in the way a bad girl would do, but I mean don't self involve your entire state of mind into just ONE person.
When the inevitable break happens: you will come here and post a thread that would read just like the hundreds of threads that came before you...

I'm sorry for the long post but while hurting is a part of the growing process, it doesn't have to hurt so much to the point where you can't breath, and don't see a reason to live, k?

[MynameisJesus]

That was how I took all those v-cards in college....too many to remember. Those girls were usually very insecure and inexperience, so I was able to manipulate their feelings.
Once I slept with them, I would lose interest and move on.

That is the way to go. You are the model man that most women want.
Use before you get used. Guess that's why I am a virgin and you are the well respected V card owner.

Congratulations