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Thread: Do I have a chance with this girl, should I ask for her number/ask her out?

  1. #1
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    Do I have a chance with this girl, should I ask for her number/ask her out?

    There's this attractive girl at work (i'd rate her a 9) and since we work in different departments usually at a department store we work at I didn't really meet her until around November when we had 2 Saturday Shifts in a row, we sort of hit it off in terms of conversations and seem to have a lot of similarities. Those are still the only 2 shifts we have worked together and I am shy by nature so I didn't really approach her everytime I saw her after that.

    On Boxing Day I had to run some stuff up to her department and we talked for a few minutes and she was smiling a lot and laughing with me about stuff and she asked me if I was going to a club that night and when I said 'Yes', she smiled and said 'see you there'. When I got into the club and I went to the outdoors part she spotted me and kissed me on the cheek and we talked for a few minutes before she had to go (she had a plane to catch the next day). I was off work last Saturday so I wanted to talk to her so I bought a dvd just in case a manager came by but we talked for about 5 minutes about her new year and stuff and she seemed happy to see me as she was busy, bored and by herself in the electronics department.

    I know some hot girls are nice and some are bitches by nature but there seems to be something here, I only consider myself a 7 at best, I'm a decent looking guy, decent build etc. We're both 19 and I haven't ever had a serious relationship or asked a girl out because I have low confidence (unless I'm drinking, it improves then).

    I tried to ask for it the other day when she wasn't busy at a department at work but just before I was about to wrap it up and ask for her number a customer came so she went 'got to serve this customer, see you tommorow' and I only saw her for about a minute today but we talked but she was finishing work and I was starting but there was no time, but shes always smiling and seems happy to talk to me, should I go for it? Does it seem like I have a chance?

  2. #2
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    Seems like you definitely have a chance!
    Though "rating" yourself and her is not a good habit to get into, because if you do go out with her you may end up constantly comparing yourself to her and to other men in the room that you think are more "in her league", and that puts you at an immediate disadvantage because you'll retract inside yourself and subconsciously push her away to protect yourself from being rejected.
    If you think you're a decent guy and decent looking enough, and she clearly thinks you're lovely then what have you got to lose? You're the only one who can determine whether on not you're "worthy" of her (you're both human therefore both equal, therefore you're definitely worthy ) so don't let other people tell you you aren't.
    One massive factor to consider though is do you like her enough to jeopardise your working relationship if things go wrong...?

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    ^ If they work in different departments then that shouldn't be too much of a problem. She does seem to like you, and the kiss on the cheek moment sounds promising. Then again, she might just be quite affectionate with friends. Either way, worth a go. You'll only regret it if you don't.

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    The rating isn't on my mind too much, I doubt I'd get that obsessed over it, it's pretty much just what I've thought then and there, it wouldn't matter if I thought the girl was the same as me in levels of attractiveness I'd still be nervous as hell.

    In terms of the working relationship, we don't work in the same part of the store often and it's a part time/casual job till I finish my degree. I'll only be there at most 2 more years and it's not a major job as I'm only 19.

    In terms of the kiss on the cheek, I wouldn't normally count that as anything because it's a greeting for a lot of the girls I know but I wouldn't call us 'friends' yet, I'd say we're above the colleagues relationship but below the friends category.

    Like I've said I've only directly worked with her twice so I've established quite a lot within that, I've only known her properly for just over 2 months but I know when I'm talking to her it isn't just colleagues talking because we aren't talking small talk, and she smiles and seems interested about what I'm saying when we are having a conversation and she often smiles and laughs which seems to be a good sign.

  5. #5
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    Could be that she is just a fun, friendly girl. Because females are friendly with you, doesn't mean we are necessarily interested in you.

    I wouldn't read anything into it.

    No harm in asking her out though.

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    I know that, I mean I talk to a lot of girls whether I'm out or see them whereever but I don't get the 'vibe' like I do here, the way I have been for a few years now is if I know there's nothing there at all through my intepretations then I just don't even give it much more thought but I think I have a legitimate chance here I'm just too afraid to take 'the leap'

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    ^You could be reading into it and because you like this particular one though and you want to think she likes in the same way...if you know what I mean.

    I've read a thousand stories like this, the guy asks her out and he's been wrong.

    Not trying to put you off or anything, this case could be 'different'. Just advising you to not build up your hopes and when you ask her out, ask her with no expectation that it will turn into the love story of the century.

    I wish you luck anyway

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    I think you definitely have a shot. You'll definitely regret it if you don't do anything and from the sounds of things you'll only be mildly embarrassed if she turns out to not be interested. Plus we all get over embarrassment - thats nothing. So really, it would be a BAD idea if you DON'T go for it.

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    You rate girls look? pig

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    One thing to consider:

    She asked you if you were going to the club, then said "see you there"... then she showed up but couldn't stay long as she had a plane to catch...

    Are you seeing where this is going? She went to the club for no other reason but that she knew you'd be there.

    Do you have a chance?! Pfffft... she's probably posting on the forum somewhere saying "Why won't he ask me out?!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartIsAching View Post
    One thing to consider:

    She asked you if you were going to the club, then said "see you there"... then she showed up but couldn't stay long as she had a plane to catch..

    Are you seeing where this is going? She went to the club for no other reason but that she knew you'd be there.
    Not necessarily. The club could be a place she frequents regularly - she may not just have shown up and to see if he'd be there.

    If she'd shown up for his benefit and had been looking to get to know him further and spend time with him, surely she wouldn't have picked a night where she had to rush off and catch a plane?

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    seeing him some before she leaves the city is better than seeing him none

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    You rate her as a 9? and you a 7? Rate? that's pretty shallow dude. No experience I'm guessing. You won't get any girl with your lack of confidence and it shows because you have to come on here and ask a bunch of strangers if you have a chance. I say no, not at this rate. You need to grow some and be bold about your intentions to her. There's no other way. She's just a girl, tell her you think she's hot and want to take her out. If she says no then who cares, you move onto someone else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mishful View Post
    seeing him some before she leaves the city is better than seeing him none
    Well if that's the case, Romeo and Juliet eat your fcking hearts out....

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    You rate her as a 9? and you a 7? Rate? that's pretty shallow dude. No experience I'm guessing. You won't get any girl with your lack of confidence and it shows because you have to come on here and ask a bunch of strangers if you have a chance. I say no, not at this rate. You need to grow some and be bold about your intentions to her. There's no other way. She's just a girl, tell her you think she's hot and want to take her out. If she says no then who cares, you move onto someone else.
    In terms of the rating, it sounds a lot more shallow on here then I am in reality, I don't rate every girl I know or keep a scoreboard or anything. It was just a case for reference that I think in terms of comparative she's a bit above me in terms of PHYSICAL attractiveness but I know I'm not ugly and I'm quite good looking, and her personality keeps me attracted to her, like I said if she was a bitch or just seemed detached it wouldn't matter how good looking she is I wouldn't pursue it.

    In terms of the club that night, she didn't go because she knew I'd be there, I know that for a fact however when I eventually got in (I was pretty pissed off about waiting so long) and I bought a few drinks and was looking for some of my friends, I walked past her (I knew when I first walked in she was around that area but I didn't want to just show up and talk to her randomly), she pretty much pulled me in and stopped me to talk to her. Now again I'm not saying this proves she likes me a lot or anything but most girls I know wouldn't just call me out and stop me, they'd wait until we both saw each other to talk to one another.

    So I'm a realist, I know she didn't go just to see me. If that was the case she would have asked if I wanted to go in with her, which I wish she would have because I would have got in pretty much straight away :p

    Not only that but I originally told 3 of my closest friends about this girl, then a further two then when I was out another week a couple of my female friends wanted to know if there was anyone I was going out with, stupid me said 'Almost' and they laughed when I said I didn't have her number, I said that pretty instinctively because I expected the question 'Do you like someone' and a split second after I said it I thought 'Almost, I'm not even halfway there yet', so now about 10 people know which I don't care about I'm human lol, but I'm getting text messages sometimes from them or when I see them out they ask about my progress with this girl, so I can't escape it really. I have to man up but I'll do it in stages obviously, I'm surprised I've got this far after only two shifts with her but I'm not thinking 'She loves me' or 'She likes me a lot', I'm just trying to pick out the right moment. The right moment was the other day at work before the customer came, I think she would have given it there and then but that's life at times, only consolation is over time I haven't messed it up some how.

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