The 6th sense

[I'mGoingCrazy]

Long post, but I hope one or two women will take the time to read this and give their 2 cents.

I met this girl about 18 months ago. We really get along great and I have this strange feeling that she loves me more than any other woman ever will. Generally, we get along really well. She loves sports and she's so easy to talk to. I love everything about her, except for what I'm about to detail below.

After dating for about 2 months, my friends all took me out for my birthday and invited her to come along. We all got pretty drunk, but two of my best friends and her came back to my house. I noticed that she was acting attracted to my best friend. They were all loud, I was tired so I went to bed and let them hang out on the patio. They drank so much tequila that she ended up stumbling into my closet in the middle of the night and pissed in my closet. I was really jealous and pissed, so the next morning I drove her back to her car at her sister's house, treated her like trash and I dumped her ass right then and there for flirting with my best friend all night. I told her it was pissing in my closet, but the real reason was because she was flirting with my friends all night.

She kept texting me and acting like it was the end of the world and at some point we got back together.

So we date for 6 months or so. One night, my best friend and her and myself are all hanging out in my kitchen. I sensed that she was developing attraction for my best friend. That night, I remember feeling like a third wheel in my own home. I pretended like I didn't sense anything, which I realize now, was the wrong thing to do. But anyway, that's what I did and two weeks later I broke up with her and offered no explanation.

We were broken up for 4 months. Then we got back together again.

This time, things were still great. But I started to get these 6th sense events that I really struggled with. I will detail them below, from what I think is the least offensive to the worst.

1.) The first 4 months we dated, I was on her Facebook profile picture, a picture of her and me. I never put a picture of her on my Facebook profile. After we broke up, and then got back together, she only had a picture of herself up on Facebook. Once I saw that, I shut my Facebook account down and I'll never have another Facebook page again. I know marriages that were destroyed due to Facebook. My opinion, Facebook enables past lovers to easily reconnect. It's a bad thing, in my opinion.

2.) The ceiling fan. When she'd stay over at my house, she always wanted the ceiling fan off. She didn't like it. One night, she invited me to dinner at her apartment and I noticed the ceiling fan in her bedroom was on full blast. She mentioned very casually that her brother had stopped by earlier. My sixth sense was telling me that she had the fan on full blast to dissipate the scent of another man's cologne, and the story of her brother stopping by to cover her tracks as well. Something just wasn't sitting right with me that night. Sixth Sense.

3.) We were on our way to a football game once, in a bus, to get to the stadium...like a 10 minute ride...and these two guys started hitting on her in my presence. I know how she acts when she's attracted to someone...I was there the night I met her and swept her off her feet...so I know how she acts when she's attracted...and she was showing signs of attraction towards these two guys. It really bothered me.

4.) We went to a baseball game last summer and we ended up getting drinks in the bar upstairs. Because it was air conditioned, we ended up staying in the bar for the duration of the game. While we were there, we started talking to these two guys. They lived in the next suburb over from us, very close. At any rate, the conversation was pretty well splintered the entire night, her talking to one guy and me talking to another. When the game ended, we all four went outside to watch the fireworks show in the stands. When it was time to go, in a flirtatious voice, she asked the guy for his phone number. I probably over reacted, but none-the-less, this behavior doesn't sit well with me for a long-term relationship. Heck, it doesn't sit will with me for any woman I'm dating, but especially not my own girlfriend.

5.) When we were broken up for those four months, at one point, one of the text messages said something about a bar tender who was hitting on her or something along those lines. I figured she was just trying to make me jealous. After we got back together, we were getting drinks at a local place near her apartment. She suggested we go to this wine bar around the corner, so we went. I had never been there before. I am horrible at reading people and social stuff...I can't even tell if a woman is attracted to me 90% of the time...but I sensed there was something going on between this bar tender and her, like some kind of connection or something. His eye contact was on her exclusively, seldom directed towards me, and it was obvious she knew him, as well all the other bar tenders.

One of the bar tenders went on to tell about how she came in there moping about me while we were broken up, but they also told a story about her and another girl dancing on the bar one night. A girl dancing on a bar, to me, is just not something I want in a long term partner. Just me. But I've already fallen in love with her by now. So anyway, I started to suspect this must be the bartender she texted me about. So we go back to her apartment, and she pulls this wine stopper off the wine bottle, it was a nice thing, with a large jewel at the top. We just had a martini and several other drinks, so we were each a little intoxicated. Then she looks at the wine stopper and says to me "Who gave me that?" But it was in a seductive tone, and it was obvious she was confusing me with some other guy. I never remembered seeing the wine stopper before the break-up. She told me she didn't sleep with anyone else while we were broken up. At any rate, once she said that, I said, "I don't know, but it sure as hell wasn't me." Then she went on to explain that her female friend, who she hasn't spoken with in over a year, gave it to her. My sixth sense is telling me that seeing the bartender brought forth a lot of her emotions and with the alcohol, she confused me with him when she asked me "Who gave me that?" in a very seductive tone. I suspect it was him that gave her the wine stopper.

6.) This one is REALLY bothering me. While we were broken up, my best friend had received a text from her. It said, basically, "Hey, who is this. I saw your number in my phone from a while back." So he texted her back and then, while we were still broken up, she sends him this really long text message explaining how she had just played strip golf with some guys on the course that she didn't know, and how she had beaten them really badly. She said she wanted to text him to let him know "since he also played golf".

So my friend tries to pin me down in front of other friends and basically tries to ask me for permission to have sex with my ex-girlfriend. But he's asking in front of several other friends. Looking back, I think she was trying to manipulate me by using my friend...she knew that text would make it back to me...and my best friend was manipulating me by asking in front of a group of people. The whole thing didn't sit well with me at all. I told my best friend to stop gaming my ex-girlfriend and promised he would.

Ok, so last summer, she came over to my house and we had sex. She was very stretched out. I mean, compared to how she normally was, she felt like a warm glass of water. My fingers were penetrating her MUCH deeper than ever before. It was really strange, and I suspected the worst. I didn't say anything to her that night. But I ignored her for a few days and then went over and broke up with her, and confronted her with what I suspected. Of course, she denied any wrong doing. But we were broken up.

So my best friend meets me and another friend of mine at a restaurant bar. He's bragging about how well he's been doing with women lately. Then he goes on to say that he's been having a problem with doing the right thing, people ask him to do things that he knows he shouldn't do and he can't say no. My friend and I, who are just sitting there going "WTF?". We were both thinking the same thing.

So a week later, my best friend shows up and we're teeing off with two other friends at the golf course. My best friend looks at me and says "Hey, we're cool now, aren't we?" I got so mad. Why would he be asking me that if he hadn't wronged me in the first place? So after golf, I confronted him and he denied that he had sex with my girlfriend.

I was convinced that he had sex with my girlfriend. So I told the ex-girlfriend, on the phone, there is one thing you can do if you want to salvage this relationship. She came over, and I asked her to log into her AT&T account. I scoured every phone call and text message during the suspected time frame for my best friend's phone number. It was not on there. So now, I'm thinking I am going crazy. We got back together at that time.

I just broke up with her right before Christmas. All of these sixth sense events were eating at me, and I finally just decided I had to pull the plug. I miss her so much and really do love her, but my gut instinct is telling me she is unfaithful and I don't trust her.

Ok, so if anyone has been able to read this far without tuning out, thanks, and I totally appreciate any comments.

[MerryH]

You are really, REALLY paranoid. You kind of sound like a dick, too. With treating her like trash and breaking up with her and not giving her an honest reason, to getting upset over things she may or may not have done while you were broken up (hint: you have no right to get jealous over things she did while single), to comparing her vagina to a warm glass of water (wtf, man?), accusing your best friend of sleeping with her due to some vague comments he made, etc.

You are not a good boyfriend. I'm not saying she didn't do anything wrong, but obviously she's not a good match for you if you can't tolerate her behavior. Find someone who you can trust, which I suspect will be difficult for you because of your massive insecurities, so probably work on that first.

[ammi00]

I read everything because it got more and more interesting & ridiculous. Please leave this girl alone - you definitely have some mental issues. I don't even want to imagine what you've thought while having sex with her and saying "My fingers were penetrating her MUCH deeper than ever before. It was really strange". That's beyond stupid. I'm very curious how you're able to make this connexions.

[eonbar]

you sound like a paranoid twat tbh.
ceiling fan, stretched out, at&t account = 6th sense? pleaseeeee! have you even heard yourself?

[Take2]

Making up some weird-ass possibility to explain something inconsequential and deciding it is true without evidence or reason or corroboration does not mean you have a sixth sense. It is, actually, what paranoid schizophrenics do. This is not a mental strength!

For instance, it is certainly possible that a woman might turn on a ceiling fan to dissipate the scent of a man's cologne...but I have never run into an instance where that happened. And it is at least as likely that it got hot in the room. Or she farted. Or her brother was helping her fix the fan. Or she noticed the fan was covered in dust and was embarassed and turned it on so it wouldn't show. Or someone walked by and flipped the switch and she didn't notice.

[I'mGoingCrazy]

Maybe I am going crazy. When I was married, my world was like a fantasy version of Disney. My ex-wife nagged and complained all the time, we didn't get along. We never had sex. But I didn't really, honestly believe that women were so inclined to cheat on their husbands. Women are very caring and nurturing, and I think men are easily confused that if these two good characteristics are so universal, than trustworthiness must automatically go along. Since my divorce, my eyes have been opened to reality. I go out with women who freely admit that most of their married friends are cheating or have cheated on their husbands or live-in boyfriends. It is going on all over the place in the world these days. To just assume that your partner isn't involved in these infractions is a bit naive, in my opinion. In the four years since I've been divorced, I've learned so much about women, and, honestly, I wish I hadn't. I wish I could go back in time and unlearn what I've discovered about reality.

When I confronted her about the stretched out vagina, she later went to the doctor and came back with the explanation that she had been constipated and that's what caused her to get stretched out.

The really strange thing is, when I ask women in person that I meet out and about, in real life, and I explain that last summer my ex-girlfriend's vagina just suddenly, one day, was just really, really stretched out whereas it had never been before, it had always been a real good tight fit before...women in real life ALWAYS agree that she had been fooling around. The last girl I asked about this said "How would constipation cause her vag to stretch out? If anything, it would cause it to become tighter."

I have Googled this and it is true that the woman's vagina will stretch to accommodate whatever size is being inserted...after all, babies are born this way.

Many believe the sixth sense is a very real evolved mechanism to help identify infidelity with a partner. I read an entire book on this, called "The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love And Sex." The book begins by talking about desire, and how men and women can't desire something that is easily and readily available. We desire that which we don't have. I think this is the reason why so many marriages end up sexless...a lack of desire. At any rate, the author goes on to explain the 6th sense is very real and he believes humans evolved this instinct to protect themselves. In the book, the author sights numerous examples where one party was suffering from "delusional jealousy" or "morbid jealousy" or "irrational jealousy". The counselors would interview the couples and one party would be convinced the other party was having an affair or cheating around but couldn't offer any concrete evidence. In the book, the author had these marriage counselors follow up with the couples one year later, and in almost every case, the "irrationally jealous" partner was right...he or she had been dumped and the adulterous partner was now living with or married to the person that they had been cheating around with.

That's what's so screwed up about my morbid jealousy. I don't suspect my ex-girlfriend of having an affair. But I do suspect that she's cheated on me. Maybe I am just crazy, maybe this is mother nature's way, or God's way, of telling me she's not the right one for me. I really don't know. It is very confusing. I love her so much and miss her terribly.

[Take2]

Wow, I agree. You are going crazy.

You need to find a higher class of women to talk to. People cheat, it is a sad fact of life. But not EVERYONE cheats. And no, trusting my very trustworthy bf is not naive. Trust in the face of evidence to the contrary may be naive, but trust in the face of trustworthiness is healthy and good. And how was your marriage like Disney or a fantasy? It sounds like hell, to me.

Yes, a woman's vgina will stretch, but it also goes back. Just moments after a baby is born, there isn't room for a baby anymore! I would say that ether your girlfriend slept with a well-endowed man a LOT shortly before you got together, OR (more likely) your paranoia colored your perception.

I believe in a sixth sense. It isn't actually a sense, it is intuition, which is usually the brain processing details that are too subtle to register consciously. However, the subconscious and the conscious are informed by our attitudes. Your attitude is one of jealousy and paranoia, and it is clearly impacting your ability to think rationally. It is also impacting your ability to translate those subconscious cues.

[qwertz]

I cant get past her pssing in your closet.

[I'mGoingCrazy]

Thanks everyone for reading this far. Either I am going crazy. Or I am insanely insecure. Or I'm picking up on some things that I SHOULD be listening to. Love tends to blind people to reality, doesn't it?

As for pissing in my closet, she was really drunk on tequila. My floors are hardwood laminate. It was weird, but it happened. I could care less about that.

Maybe I am "irrationally jealous" but at the same time, I see a lot of things, red flags, that are screaming "This woman is not a long term relationship kind of girl. She's not the girl you want to marry". I'll bullet point them below. I realize everyone has history, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with it. Honestly, I just think I don't want to know it.

She was a college cheer leader and she referred to her college years as a "**** fest".
She went on three match dot com dates, and no guy made it to date number 2. One was a former MLB baseball player and one was an assistant coach in the NFL...she slept with those two guys...on the first date. Even though each of them lived 5 states away. Was a real relationship with these guys, five states away, really on her radar screen? I don't get it.
The night I met her, she evidently told me she wanted to go home with me. I didn't hear her say that, or maybe my subconscious prevented me from hearing it. It was loud. At any rate, I got her number and she slept with me on the first date.
She shows signs of attraction to other men in my presence.
Her history is that of dating wealthy men. Almost every guy she'd mention from her past had vast wealth. I do too. It bothers me. A lot.
I've had my 6th sense triggered, majorly, by all this stretching of her vag.
She was playing strip golf with men she had just met.
She was dancing on the bar with another girl.
My friend, he is late 30's, total nice guy, and has no "game" and, consequently, has never had a girlfriend. She always says that she could coach him, and he would "have those panties flying off". For her to say that just bothers me.

None of these things are things any sane guy would want in a future wife, are they? Or am I just being too insecure?

But then, I see the good side of her. She prays, she gets an e-mail every day with what amounts to Sunday School and reads it every day. She is Christian. Super family oriented. Great social skills. Very confident. She has a lot of great characteristics that I love. I'm in love with her.

[sweetkissesforu]

You are really, REALLY paranoid. You kind of sound like a dick, too. With treating her like trash and breaking up with her and not giving her an honest reason, to getting upset over things she may or may not have done while you were broken up (hint: you have no right to get jealous over things she did while single), to comparing her vagina to a warm glass of water (wtf, man?), accusing your best friend of sleeping with her due to some vague comments he made, etc.

You are not a good boyfriend. I'm not saying she didn't do anything wrong, but obviously she's not a good match for you if you can't tolerate her behavior. Find someone who you can trust, which I suspect will be difficult for you because of your massive insecurities, so probably work on that first.

I agree with you !!!!Could not have said it better

[Take2]

Dude, forget your sixth sense. Leave this woman for all the overt reasons that you are not compatible. You don't need to look for subtle little stuff!

Also, if her faith is important to you, lookat how it plays out in her life. What purpose does it serve to read a Sunday School book every day and pray if your life then embodies rejection of every tenet of that faith?

[sweetkissesforu]

you sound like a paranoid twat tbh.
ceiling fan, stretched out, at&t account = 6th sense? pleaseeeee! have you even heard yourself?

Maybe physiatrist could help

[sweetkissesforu]

Maybe I am going crazy. When I was married, my world was like a fantasy version of Disney. My ex-wife nagged and complained all the time, we didn't get along. We never had sex. But I didn't really, honestly believe that women were so inclined to cheat on their husbands. Women are very caring and nurturing, and I think men are easily confused that if these two good characteristics are so universal, than trustworthiness must automatically go along. Since my divorce, my eyes have been opened to reality. I go out with women who freely admit that most of their married friends are cheating or have cheated on their husbands or live-in boyfriends. It is going on all over the place in the world these days. To just assume that your partner isn't involved in these infractions is a bit naive, in my opinion. In the four years since I've been divorced, I've learned so much about women, and, honestly, I wish I hadn't. I wish I could go back in time and unlearn what I've discovered about reality.

When I confronted her about the stretched out vagina, she later went to the doctor and came back with the explanation that she had been constipated and that's what caused her to get stretched out.

The really strange thing is, when I ask women in person that I meet out and about, in real life, and I explain that last summer my ex-girlfriend's vagina just suddenly, one day, was just really, really stretched out whereas it had never been before, it had always been a real good tight fit before...women in real life ALWAYS agree that she had been fooling around. The last girl I asked about this said "How would constipation cause her vag to stretch out? If anything, it would cause it to become tighter."

I have Googled this and it is true that the woman's vagina will stretch to accommodate whatever size is being inserted...after all, babies are born this way.

Many believe the sixth sense is a very real evolved mechanism to help identify infidelity with a partner. I read an entire book on this, called "The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love And Sex." The book begins by talking about desire, and how men and women can't desire something that is easily and readily available. We desire that which we don't have. I think this is the reason why so many marriages end up sexless...a lack of desire. At any rate, the author goes on to explain the 6th sense is very real and he believes humans evolved this instinct to protect themselves. In the book, the author sights numerous examples where one party was suffering from "delusional jealousy" or "morbid jealousy" or "irrational jealousy". The counselors would interview the couples and one party would be convinced the other party was having an affair or cheating around but couldn't offer any concrete evidence. In the book, the author had these marriage counselors follow up with the couples one year later, and in almost every case, the "irrationally jealous" partner was right...he or she had been dumped and the adulterous partner was now living with or married to the person that they had been cheating around with.

That's what's so screwed up about my morbid jealousy. I don't suspect my ex-girlfriend of having an affair. But I do suspect that she's cheated on me. Maybe I am just crazy, maybe this is mother nature's way, or God's way, of telling me she's not the right one for me. I really don't know. It is very confusing. I love her so much and miss her terribly.

You are Verrrrrrrrrry Crazy you must reread your posts get help fast

[girl68]

Your "6th sense" is WACK. Complete and total wack. You're insanely paraniod and overly judgemental. If you don't want strechted out pussies stop going to bars, clubs and pubs to pick up chick go to an effin' book club or some shit. I mean clearly the women you meet do NOT want long term relationships and are looking for fun flings and sex. Who the hell are you to judge them?

I never met you and I hate you- Okay, I hate people with mentalites like you. Please man, don't dare date another woman who isn't a purdish virgin, but you need help, seek some ASAP.

[ashley89]

what the... ummm... hold on a minute here... I...