Issues with gf's past

[Easy12]

so Ive been dating this girl now for about 6 months and all is good, we cant keep our hands off each other and really adore each other. She is a sweetheart, would give me the world if she could, all her friends tell me she is absolutely crazy about me, and generally it has been a really good and healthy relationship for us both. The problem lies in things that I know about her past that for some reason just get my mind racing and having me think that she isnt really the person Im dating.

She got out of a serious long term relationship about 1.5 years ago and I am the first guy she has dated seriosuly since then. We are both 22 so were are relatively young. In between me and her ex she told me she has only been with 2 guys which for me seems like she is lying. There are a few reasons why I think she is lyin, for one she put out the first night i was with her, 2nd she used to carry lube around in her purse, 3rd she is the type of girl who makes out with her best friend(regularly) and was even willing to part take in a threesome with her and her bf, she told me she had a couple one night stands(one being in the back seat of a car), and just today she told me she had lost her virginity at the age of 14. I dunno about you guys, but to me those are all signs of a slutty girl and for me its not really the type of person I want to move forward with regardless if its in the past or not.

I know its not my right to judge her on her past and one not, but my problem lies in the fact that she tries to play the good girl card for me in an attempt to appease me rather than being honest. I dont want to break up with her, but these thought weigh heavy on my mind and at times it makes me have doubts about us. What are your thoughts on the whole thing? Im feeling like I should forget all that and enjoy what we have, but if its bothering me so much then there is a reason for it and I think that reason might be that I shouldnt be with a girl like that.

[girl68]

You can't have what you want. Because what you want is her, and her being practically a virgin, she isn't. Your options are 100% absolute and simple: get over it, or dump her. "Talking" about it don't do shit. Why? Easy, what the hell is talking about it gonna do change it? No. She's a bit promiscuous, either accept or dump. End of story.

Also if you have issues with putting out on the first date, don't you dare try and get there on the first date because you're just a much a slut.

[Easy12]

I know my options, and Im not asking for a virgin, just not a slut. If I knew the stuff I know about her now at the beginning of the relationship, i prolly wouldnt have taken her into serious considerations.

For me if a girl is promiscuous and has been with many guys outside of relationships, shes a slut. Im sorry if you deny the double standard but thats just how it is. It doesnt make me a slut for trying to sleep with a woman, thats the natural order of the male female relationship. Its a biological mechanism that makes it this way. WOmen are the gatekeepers to sex and call the shots because they have more to risk in sexual relations than a male does. If a woman is sexually promiscuous it just means she a poor gatekeeper and generally men dont want a girl like that, including myself.

[girl68]

Sorry son, it does make you a slut... I know how it is... I've lived through being judged several times, I don't give a flying rats penis... you're just as much a slut I am for getting down with me.

You're going to have a butt f*k tough time here if you keep this attitude up. You won't last long on these forums son, trust me.

[Easy12]

there will ALWAYS be different standards for both genders when it comes to sexual relations. Maybe you like to see beyond them in an attempt to justify your ways, but in the real world these standards do exist, son. Like I said it is in our biological design, as well as our gender norms. Look past it if you like, but anyone with any sense knows how it is.

And why the hostility for, I could tell from you're initial post that I rubbed you the wrong way with me having a problem with my gf's past. Been down this road before I presume?

[KingZ]

You really shouldn't evaluate someone's sexual history and make an attempt to judge their character based on this.

What matters significantly more is how she treats you. If she's nice and loving towards you, who cares? Live in the moment.

[girl68]

Been down this road before I presume?

Presume wrong. But there are hundreds of you judgemental idiots here... and easy(12) search will show you plenty of guys have this "issue" and our advice is always dump the hoe and go find a little prude.

[natilie]

perhaps she doesn't normally put out on the 1st date. you may have just been that one guy she couldn't refuse

[hello1]

Okay so she slept with a lot of guys maybe. So what? shes with you and it seems she really likes you.

[Kaius]

To many people it doesn't matter, but to a lot of us, it does. Men have no problem sleeping with slutty girls, but when it comes to serious relationship, no man wants a promiscuous girl. How a girl treats sex very much reflects how she respects herself. If she can't respect herself by giving her body freely, how can she expect a man to respect her? It's true that many girls may have done stupid things when they were young or didn't know better. But a lot of things like photos, reputation and STDs follow you well beyond your early years. Men don't want to be reminded that their woman has done intimate things with several other men. It's just very unsettling.

That said, you have to decide what you are able to deal with. If you can't deal with a girl who has had many partners, then you should look for a girl less promiscuous. There are many girls out there who don't take sex lightly, so perhaps one of them is for you. To each his own.

[girl68]

Several woman here feel the exact same about man whores. I raise my hand as one of them.

[KingZ]

Several woman here feel the exact same about man whores. I raise my hand as one of them.

Your way of thinking is flawed.

[SelflessnHumble]

Those "signs" are signs she is uninhibited with her sexuality.
A cheating lying whore makes a girl a slutty girl and your perception tells me you are much too conservative to be with someone like her.

The fact she gave it up on the first date/night COULD mean she was really into you, although people's prejudices (such as your own) will arrive
at the notion she's a slut: consider the fact: you too are a slut yourself: because you happen to be there when the sex took place, lol!

If you cannot handle her past: sit down with her and tell her the truth.
Then meet an amish woman or a girl who hasn't done these types of things...If you knew: shame on you.
If you didn't know, how did you find out? Everyone experiments and the fact she is highly sexual means you aren't able to handle it with maturity.

Get out if you cannot deal with her past: which is over.

[girl68]

Your way of thinking is flawed.

LOL, I find it funny you think you know how women view men. Seeing how you have a penis and I have a vagina.

[Kaius]

Do women feel such prejudice about a man's past? For some odd reason, I never met a girl who was concerned about how many virgins I slept with in college.
I had a bad holding pattern back then, because I just didn't want to date girls who had sex before.... Maybe it was my problem.... Several of those girls
did in fact sleep with me within the 1st week. They felt safe with me, and were very attracted to me. I guess I was immature and very inconsiderate for
leading them on. I slept with them because I wanted to collect v-cards, not because I liked them. I know I was bad. One girl was totally wild in bed
because she was a nerd in high school, and suppressed all her sexual energy for 19 years. I didn't like her, but once the clothes came off, she had the
most amazing breasts, and I was hooked! I dated her for 5 months because she was a good softball player, and my team needed her. Was I a male slut?