Is it real or am I crazy?..

[Helplesslylost]

Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half met in high school, we were friends for three years until we started dating, and it was perfect. Not a hitch.

Though recently I feel as though everytime I ask him a question his response is "I don't know." and it's the same for simple things like how come you haven't been sleeping to even deeper things like whether or not he sees me in his future 5 years from now. It's starting to really bug me how quiet he has grown and I just feel as though he's distancing himself from me, and it doesn't help that he constantly texts other people but still is just as quiet if I text. I understand he and I are young but I thought this was going somewhere and now.. I just don't even know..

It's like everytime I try to talk to him about it he throws a front up and the subject eventually changes.. I just wish he'd talk to me or act like he was trying.. I constantly ramble or bitch any more these days just to keep the silence away, and it's really annoying to only ever talk like that. I enjoy conversation much more! But when I push it he just says he's run out of things to talk about..

I don't know what to make of it cause then yesterday he also made note that he wants to "wake up to my face every morning for the rest of his life." he on occasion says things like this but it just confuses me more...

Then the sex is still good for me, but everything that used to turn him on just doesn't work any more.. It's like he's sexually numb to everything except the act of sex itself! I tried everything I could of and everything that used to do it, but nothing works.. I ask him about it and he just shrugs and says the usual, "I don't know" and follows it up with, "it just doesn't any more I guess?" when I ask if there's anything else he likes or would like to try, he just seems uninterested and says things like, "not really"

I don't know what to make of it all.. He's afraid if change he's told me before but I dunno..

I personally feel like he stays with me because I'm safe.. Or maybe he does actually love menin some way? I dunno, I'm very lost on the matter.. I just wish he would open up even a little.. It hurts to have him be so cold sometimes and I don't think he realizes that, and whenever I mention anything to that effect he gets lost himself like he doesn't know what to say.

I want this to work but I also want to know if I'm crazy over reacting since we do see each other everyday, maybe I should cut back? Or if I'm right to think something is up. I just don't even know who to ask about this any more.. Everyone seems either biast or they don't have enough experience or just don't know what to say to me..

If anything I think i just want to understand and maybe find some consolement..

Please any advice would be loved and appreciated,

Thank you.
-Helplessly Lost

[ames]

hmm..i hate the "i don't know" responses to questions-it's really annoying and makes people look deep into it.

You need to sit him down and explain pretty much everything that you have on here. Don't accuse him of being "uninterested"...start with "i feel like you....." when the sex changes in a relationship, especially sex that was so good before, usually means he has other things on his mind..something isn't right here. Communication is the key. If you sit him down and have a big talk to him about how your feeling, and he just says "i dont know.." then theres definately a problem.

[Helplesslylost]

I almost feel like I can't do that because I do bitch so much and recently we have had a lot of other relationship problems going on and being worked out, I feel as if I say anything now than he'll just dumpnit off as more bitching.. Which drives me crazy.. And the sex, I don't even understand.. He's always had stress problems and he is in an intensive school corriculum at the moment, but even so the part they are going over now he says is easy and not a bug deal to him at all. Yet he still has no turn Ons except the act itself..

We even talked about his silence briefly the other night, I was in an off mood and became so quiet he couldn't help but notice his own silence. So when we talked about it it seemd positive and I mentiond how that is on occasion a problem couples have to work through after being together so long and had essentially told him that I felt like I was trying but that he hadn't been.

The conversation ended in a way i thought he was going to be better afterwards. But today again it was the same ok'd same old..

I just dunno any more.. I feel like I try and I'm sure he thinks he is too, but it's not enough if he really believes he is trying..

[ames]

he knows he isn't trying. People and feelings change unfortunately. It sounds like you need to distance yourself a little

[confused_guy_b]

I agree with ames. People in that long of a relationship don't change overnight. If he is changing and he still likes you the question is "is that what you want for the rest of your life?"

Communication is the key! You are the only one who can tell him how you really feel and visa versa. Talk to him and look within yourself for the answers.

Good luck!
~Brian~