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Thread: Post here instead of contacting your ex!

  1. #931
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Male
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    116
    I must be a fool. I let myself think that things could be different the next time around, but now it looks like I am going to get hurt all over again.

  2. #932
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    37
    I went out to a bar last night. First time in 6 years i have gone somewhere like that without you. Much to my great surprise i seemed to get a bit of (drunken) male attention. I'm not interested in that one bit though. The only person i want is you. The whole time we were together i never even looked at another guy. You were everything to me and i gave you my everything. I'm trying to move on, but the truth is i don't want to. Please come back, you just got confused and scared about a few things. Its OK, i understand. But please, please don't throw away 6 years and our whole future together because of it. You will regret it.

  3. #933
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    47
    Dammit!! I had a dream about you last night... it made me feel bad in the morning, but I managed to shake it off and even had some pretty positive thoughts about 'whatever the future brings, it'll be good'... now I went on FB and saw a video that your best friend was tagged in. He was playing music on the very city square at the same time I was there yesterday... and you were there too. But I didn't see you, either of you. But now I know you were just a few metres away from me while I was walking around there. And now suddenly I miss you so so badly and wish so so much that I had seen you and talked to you. I'm so unbelievably tempted to contact you, to suggest we meet, to call you... anything.

  4. #934
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    170
    Before we met

    I had
    * a job I loved
    * a beautiful flat I loved with a view over the city, a patio and a small herb garden
    * friends I loved and who lived nearby, my best friend even next door
    * enough money to enjoy life
    * no pets so I could travel easily which I loved

    You had
    * a job you hated
    * a messy and not fully renovated flat
    * no friends
    * debts
    * 2 dogs

    Now

    I have
    * no job and suffer from severe depression
    * a house that is more a construction site than a home
    * a few friends who live far away from me
    * debts we made together and no money
    * 3 dogs (one of which you brought into our relationship) and a cat

    You have
    * a job you love
    * new friends
    * a nice room to live in
    * new goals
    * still your own old debts, no new ones, that was all on me
    * no pets and the freedom to go whenever whereever you please

    What does that say about our relationship?

    Giving up everything to support you and your many different ever-changing dreams was my biggest mistake. Believing in you, trusting you and thinking some day it would be my turn was simply naive. Now I'm paying for it. You don't. You just left me in all this mess. How could I have been so incredibly stupid?

  5. #935
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    19
    I wish we would have communicated more early on in the relationship and especially when things started to get a bit difficult. I didn't know what I was doing and I know you felt scared.

    I wish we'd taken more time to enjoy ourselves more and I wish we'd lived more in the present and thought about the short term, rather than mostly the distant future, houses and a family.

    You were the best person in my life and I'm devastated. I don't want to lose you. I want us to have another chance, but I know we can't. I know something is missing, but I don't know what it is.

    I love you so much but I have to accept your decision and let you go. I know you no longer love me. I didn't think that it was possible for us to get to this stage. I was so naive.

    I don't know what I'm going to do.

  6. #936
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    99
    I had a really good weekend but unfortunately I still thought about you more than I would have liked. The difference...when I thought about "maybe saying hi via text wouldn't be so bad" I thought about all of the stupid reasons for your behavior or the non-existent "reasons" as to why we aren't together and I get pissed...so pissed that I loose any desire to contact you. The anger stage is a good stage to be in. As time goes on I'll move into the numb stage...and when I get there...your window of opportunity will have closed. If you're still debating..still trying to figure things out...know that I'm almost over you. I don't know how much longer it'll take me...maybe months still...but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Which means you're almost s**t out of luck....and it feels great.

  7. #937
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,060
    I wish our situation could be different but I can't change the way you view me and day by day I am accepting that. I hope you understand one day why I had to do this.
    I hope you are ok and keeping busy. Good luck with the job hunt.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

  8. #938
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
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    Male
    Posts
    211
    Please make a decision!!

  9. #939
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    168
    I pray that I said our last goodbye to you today. I pray that I will soon find another job and never have to see your face again. Please do not come back to me months down the line wanting to give us another try. Throughout all my suffering over you, all my friends had been telling me off how much better off I was without you and that you were the one that lost something truly special. I was unbelieving to them because that's what friends are supposed to say right? I also was holding on to hope that they were wrong, and that you would come back around and we would be together again, but I realized how right they were this weekend. I realized that I knew that several months ago when I had enough of your drama and BS. We ended up sorting things out at that time and you somehow got me to fall for you again and as soon as I did you pulled the trap door and let me get hurt.

    Through all of this I have just been sad at the loss of the love and connection that we felt and I know I will find that again with someone else. I was sad that I lost a friendship out of this, but you were not a true friend to me in the end. A friend would have never let me feel the way you have. I had so many self destructive thoughts because of what you did and no friend would ever do that as you have. Would you have felt so friendly if I had decided to end it all? Don't worry, that wasn't really ever an option as you clearly weren't worth it (and no one is).

    I've retained my dignity through this. I'm still the same wonderful person that you fell in love with but you've changed into a completely different person than anyone you ever had shown me before. Go live your life and let me live mine far away from you.

  10. #940
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1
    To Mr Ego

    I hope you realize that your a coward, and a pathetic excuse for a man.

    I let you build up my hopes and expectations countless times, only for you to shatter them. Was it a game to you?? did u enjoy playing with my heart and my head? All the lies you told me... each time, making me to believe that things were going to be different. That you wanted to be with me... then slowing fading out of my life when you were done with me. I was just your plaything.

    The sad truth is that I was in love with you... I'm glad that I never admitted that to you now though. I would have done anything for you.

    Why couldn't you just be honest?... tell me you were not into me?... tell me you were looking elsewhere?... is telling the truth so hard for you?.... Did you think you could have your cake and eat it too? Not anymore!

    I am finished with you, and this time its final!. Enough is enough. There's only so many times I can be hurt and keep bouncing back! I am going to move on, like I should have done a year ago. I am going find some who respects me and treats me the way I deserve.

    One day you will wake up and realize what you have lost, but it'll be too late. I'm already gone...

    bye

  11. #941
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Female
    Posts
    37
    I had a bit of a realisation today...for the first time in 6 years i could picture my future without you. I still love you and i still want you back, you were the perfect boyfriend and i tried to be the perfect girlfriend, we were so good together and we were going to have a pretty damn good life. But, i think im beginning to start the 'moving on' process now, so please, if you are going to come back don't leave it too long.

  12. #942
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    I'm Sad, why are you with some one else who is not me, why???? I'm so hurt by you, why were you so unforgiving towards me? I have never said sorry to any man in my life, I knew I was in the wrong, I knew I was behaving not my self and I said sorry but your pride got in the way, what is it that you wanted me to do, chase after you, keep on saying sorry, pretending to be friends until you got back to me. Please I can accept error but I will never be a fool or chase after a man. I would of forgiven your flaws, I would have tried to understand you, I would of work things out, I would have never let my pride get in the way or try to make you feel like shit or take advantage of your vulnerability to hurt you in any way because I Loved you and that is what Love is.

    But now all I can do is stay away from you as far as I can, completely avoid any contact, I even avoid the people that is around you.

    Did you know that night it rained over me but all i could think of is how much it hurts to think that I will never see you again and that I love you.

  13. #943
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    3
    How come you flirt with me all the time, but don't make the effort of trying to set up a date with me? How come you only go out with me when I ask you to go somewhere, and refuse to pick up on any of the hints I give you?

    I know, it's just like that book says, right? "He's just not that into you!"

    That's why I'm giving up on you, and I know that it's your loss, not mine!

  14. #944
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    99
    Last night was hard and I realize I'm the one causing the pain. Once again, I pushed you to far. For the first time it actually felt like it was over. I pushed and pushed and asked why, can't we just try one more time. You said, it's not as simple as just getting back together, you're in a different place, you are a different person, it wouldn't be the same if we got back together. You just don't think it'll work out. Completely crushed doesn't begin to explain how I feel. You'd think after almost 4 months I would have learned. I'm going through a lot right now with my grandfather whom is basically dieing and you can imagine that I'm probably deflecting much of my anger onto you. But unfortuantely it's to much for you. You're done. Our mutal friend said that you seemed pretty set on moving on and that I should also. She said she couldn't speak for the future, but if I continue to hold onto to the a sherd of hope it'll be detrimental to me and my recovery. She's right....i know she is. I know everyone is. Ijust don't get it. It wasn't broken...at least to me. I guess that's my problem. I can't see that it was broken. You finally deleted all of our pictures on facebook...you blocked me and my family members from your profile. Its probably a good thing. I need a f**king wake up call. I literally didn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about how embarassed I was for how I've been behaving and being sad for that chapter of my life closing. I'm making my family members hold onto my laptop and phone when I'm at home so I won't check up on you...I can't. I clearly can't do this on my own. The shitty part is that I feel like you are doing this because your friend said that you needed to get perspective and we both needed space. While true, you also said that if he had told you that you were making a mistake that it may have made a difference in how you felt about the situation. Its so odd to me that you are so influenced by what others say. It's also odd to me that I saw you a week ago and the chemistry and attraction was there. You lingered at my car...you didn't know how to say goodbye. (your words not mine) It isn't over for you yet, but you are trying to move on. Our friend is right though, the more I cling the farther I push you away. That's why I'm taking drastic measures to insure that I break this cycle. I don't like knowing you are on a dating site and using pictures that I took. Its sickining to me for some reason. I guess because those were our happy memories that you are now advertising to someone else. But you don't see it that way. I need to block that site so I can't go there and check in to see if you still have it. I hope to God that every date that you go on it doesn't feel right or if you start to date someone that she is crazy or you think about me constantly. Or if it doesn't work out that you think of me. I hate that I feel so damn passionate about this still and I hate that I want to see you miserable, but you've made me miserable for the past 4 months...hell lets be honest for the past 2 years as you tried to figure out what was important to you. Clearly I need help, that's why I made an appointment to talk to a therapist next week because I'm done being sad for you and I'm done loosing sleep.

    Please..please...anyone reading this.....don't contact them, let them miss you. You'll screw up any potential reconcilation if you continue to contact them. It makes you look like a crazy person and only hurts your chances. I wish I was strong and had followed that advice. Now I fear I'm slipping into a depression and I'll be sad and lonely forever. It may seem overdramatic, but that's how I feel right now. Please don't let yourself get to that place. Be strong...stronger than I am.
    Last edited by confused&single; 19-07-11 at 04:57 AM.

  15. #945
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    17
    AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! OMGshhhhh I want you back and the sex yaaa!!! I want to have sex with you whyyyy!!!! are you such an as*****l F Im in a dating site and soon I will get a sexy guy to replace you with GOT IT!!!!

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