Need advice: Should I ask this guy out or will I seem too pushy/desperate?? :/ help

[princess87]

Ok I've been out w this guy I like twice but we've been talking over fb for 2 wks. I saw him Sat night I could tell he liked me but there was no kiss-just him having his arm around me. Up to then I didn't know if he liked me. He's really shy and hard to read.

So we went out Tuesday. At first he said he wanted to but couldn't cause he had work @ 6am and it was already 11pm. But he mentioned he was hoping we could go out this wknd. I didn't really say anything cause I wanted to see him tues. He sounded like he really wanted to see me on tues though so he checked his schedule. He didn't have to be in till 8 so I went over his house.

Anyway I thought it went pretty well and he was pretty affectionate while I was there. He did kiss me for the first time (we made out for like 10 mins, nothing big) and when I left he said 'see you soon'. So lately after that he hasn't really been answering my messages as quickly as before (it'll take a day as opposed to maybe 30 min to 4 hrs before depending if he was on). I thanked him for having me over and said I had fun. He didn't mention anything about it. I just asked him casually what he's doing for the wknd- he hasn't answered yet. Anyway my question is, if he doesn't ask me out, should I ask him if he wants to go this wknd? Cause he did say he was hoping to hang out this weekend, but that was before Tuesday. So I'm not sure if Tuesday like substituted for the weekend?? I'm also thinking maybe he's afraid to ask because I didn't say yes or no when he said he was hoping to hang out this weekend. He admitted he's shy when it comes to women.

So would it be bad to just nonchalantly in my next message be like "Oh btw, did you still want to go out to a movie or something this weekend? If not, it's totally fine, I just wasn't sure"? Or should I just forget it and assume he's lost interest? I really don't want to come off as too eager or desperate/clingy. I've done that in the past and pushed guys away. Idk he's probably lost interest anyway :/

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[Emerald_Dreams]

Well this isn't hard to figure out:

Ask him.

The man doesn't always have to be the one to ask, y'know.

[princess87]

You don't think asking him would make me look clingy/desperate?

[Emerald_Dreams]

Only if you act clingy and desperate when you ask.

[princess87]

So just non-chalantly being like "oh btw did you still wanna do something this weekend? If not, it's totally fine, I just wasn't sure" would not be clingy? Or should I leave out the "if not part"? That might sound like I have no self confidence??

[Emerald_Dreams]

I think you're getting too worked up over this and reading into it way too much.

Here's my question for you: Do you feel clingy and desperate?

[princess87]

Honestly, I don't think I've been clingy so far with this guy. But I've been in past relationships and now I have this huge fear of coming off as clingy really soon and scaring the guy away.

[Emerald_Dreams]

You don't sound clingy to me.

Just tell him "If you want to hang out this weekend, I'm available." this way you're not exactly asking, but you're letting him know you're available for him.

[princess87]

Ok that might work. That is if he messages me back in time lol. :/

[Yet another guy]

You don't think asking him would make me look clingy/desperate?

Nah, more like eager. Which is a good thing.

[Emerald_Dreams]

Good luck!

[twinrexes]

I recommend asking him verbally, not with a message. Try to get him to answer his phone? Cause if you text or email, and he doesn't reply, you're going to start reading all kinds of meaning into it that may not be there. If you get him on the phone and he still puts you off, then maybe he's not interested. If he says he has plans for the day you suggest but makes a date with you for another day, then you're okay.

Most men are flattered when a woman asks them out and relieved that they don't have to make all the moves.

[princess87]

Thanks for all the help everyone! As for asking him verbally, I think I'm just way too shy to do that. I don't think we're quite at the level where I should be calling him. I think I'll just wait and see what he says when he messages me back. I'm hoping he does it by tonight. What if he doesn't reply till like tomorrow? Is that too late to be like "did you wanna still hang out saturday"? Idk he seems to be taking a while to reply to my messages lately so idk :/

[HeartIsAching]

You don't think asking him would make me look clingy/desperate?

No... you've been out twice and I'm assuming from the tone of your post that he's asked you twice. Not a problem to ask him out now.

[Emerald_Dreams]

Well, if you ask him about the weekend, he'll know for sure that you are interested in him. Maybe he's cooling off because he doesn't think you like him.