How to stop thinking about her

[oli]

Hi there,

This is my first post about myself so here goes:

I met a girl at work last year, she immediately caught my eye, beautiful red hair, bright eyes, nice figure and seemed really nice. Anyway we were out with workmates and at the end of the night we kissed and she stayed at mine (nothing happened). I asked her a few days later if she wanted to go out on a date but got refused so that was that, I think it was because we are different people, I am unfortuantely clingy when around a girl at first whereas she seems the complete opposite plus I have low self confidence which doesnt help.

Anyway because we work together it makes things a bit awkward, we dont talk to each other and I cant stop looking at her, honestly I do try but its hard. I sometimes look at her and think "what if" which I know I need to stop doing.

So what I am asking is what can I do to stop thinking of her, I am currently looking for alternative work not because of this but because my contract there is about to run out and trying to focus on myself more but there are times when I lay in bed and think about her.

It all sounds pretty pathetic but I thought I would share my story and get some advice which would be greatly appreciated

[Emerald_Dreams]

Easy: Have sex with a few other women and you won't even remember she exists.

[oli]

Emerald_Dreams your probably right on that one but thats not really me, I dont think my brain works like other guys, I cant just sleep with a woman, I like to get to know them, make them feel special, connect with them on more of an emotional level. I guess this is why I have only had 1 sexual partner in my life

[Emerald_Dreams]

I guess this is why I have only had 1 sexual partner in my life

Pretty much.

[Mary_A]

That's sad! Sometime there are those people we just can't get out of our heads. If you just keep trying to mentally distance yourself, it will help. Eventually it will go away. In the meantime, try to meet new girls to become infatuated with! Crushes are fun.

[SelflessnHumble]

Yeah, it does sound pretty pathetic but it doesn't hurt my confidence to know I was the same way (and even better: most people are) too.

The fact you are: clingy and have low self confidence is like Kryptonite for a woman, dude. They hate that shit!
If anyone is going to be clingy and have low esteem/confidence, it's them. They hate the competition! (not all women are like this)
Just the kind who are willing to go out with a co-worker, shit where they sleep and then easily reject you while using your lips as a jello mold on your 12th B-day...

What can you do to stop thinking about her?
You need to get rid that crappy self confidence and replace it with assertiveness and positivity and this can only happen by: knowing yourself.

You need to get out, go out: do things you like to do and meet like minded people who also do them as well.
Next time: you don't get involved with co-workers. You need to realize she doesn't like you-never did and doesn't now.
All you do is talk to yourself: know yourself and tell yourself it was a big mistake to kiss her and move on.

What also helps is to approach her (off the clock of course) and tell her, "I'd like to apologize for kissing someone that uses physical expressions of affection like an emotional tampon..."
"Next time all of the group gets together please stay away from me because when I kiss someone, it's because I like them enough to want to get to know them and possibly be a part of my life." -Thanks- (walk away)

She will get the message, you will feel better about yourself and won't have to sit there like a statue staring and wishing "what if" like the many people out there who don't accomplish shit but B-lame the world for their *in*action.