Dealing with it when you can't get away from it

[gartlas]

Okay...so I know the title is a little ambigous. So a couple months back I started dating this girl. I liked her a lot , we got on amazingly and had plans for months. I honestly thought it would last this time. A week or so before we broke up I took her to meet a good friend of mine I hadn't seen in a while. It was a bit odd , the next day she wanted to hang out with him , without inviting me and got snappy at me when I questioned it...understandably I thought. Anyway ...about overnight she changed. Didn't want to kiss ,have sex or be in any way intimate. She would'nt even hold hands. It was a bit strange...Anyway we argued over it , broke up. She starts hanging out with my friend over the next couple of days , and he tells me he likes her...so I made him promise not to date her. Selfish I know , but I still liked her so bad and had some naieve hope of getting her back , or that it must have just been a bad week. Another couple of days they start dating. She talks to me , crying over the idea we cant "be friends". I flipped out a bit...I punched the guy , he apologised and we're good. And I still talk to her...even if its painful. So the drama's done and dusted , the advice Im after is how the hell to deal with it now? I have to see them both all the time...and when I see them together , or one of them mentions the other , or a picture comes up on facebook it hurts. like.. how come she can put in the effort for him...what makes him better than me. how come he gets to hold her..and I don't. Jealousy and anger are kind of eating me up , and it's not something i can stay away from easily. So yeah....how to just...Idk. Get it out my damned head. I can't even get to sleep without thinking about it.

Thanks

[BeingAlpha]

Ouch man -- sorry to hear this. Sadly I have been on the other side of your story - but not when the two were dating. My friend liked a girl -- he brought her to a party that I hosted -- we met..sparks etc.. so...

First -- it sucks but love is love and people are all free-willed. With time you will probably be in the same sort of situation and then you will understand. Until then -- you won't.

1) spend less time on facebook -- really people don't need facebook...it didn't exist a few years ago so don't worry about whats going on there. if you think you are missing out on parties and stuff set the alerts to tell you where the events are and thats it...I don't even get friend requests via email.

2) Let go - you aren't going to will her or your friend to stop seeing each other, you aren't going to wish her to come back -- let it go

3) You said this was a friend you haven't seen in a while -- well its not like he was your best friend - if it bothers you right now - don't hang out with him anymore...

It will take time for it to get out of your head but the most important thing to do is NO CONTACT -- whatsoever -- the wound won't heal if you keep picking at it. For right now do no contact with him also - its the only way.

[kronikkid]

Listen to the guy above also this girl has done this once to you, just wait till she does it again to him. trust me its good that it happend now rather than it happening when you fall more deep in love with her, then it would hurt even more

[ktm390]

i might get sh*t for this but i'm glad you punched him! probably made you feel pretty good huh? see guys are cool like that. you punch him and then everything is good! as far as how to deal with it....music man. i listen to hank williams or hank williams III when i'm really depressed like i am now. i recommend the songs '5 shots of whiskey', 'gone but not forgotten', 'i wish i knew', 'walkin with sorrow', and 'stoned and alone'. all by hank III but ALL of his stuff is awesome. if you are looking for something more upbeat maybe try 'rebel within', 'gettin drunk and fallin down', 'crazed country rebel', or just listen to all of his stuff!!

[ktm390]

oh i almost forgot his song P.F.F. is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK ASS!!! it was written and dedicated for GG Allin!

[chillinum]

wow, you're right, his stuff is great!

[ktm390]

ahhhhh yeah, you really need to see him live though. he does an hour and a half of country takes a little break then comes back for an hour and a half of metal. if you want to hear some of his heavy stuff check out his bands Assjack and Arson Anthem

[gartlas]

Haha thanks a lot - yeah the music is pretty cool. He is a close friend - I kinda see him at college a lot..and he keeps trying to talk to me. I'll take the advice on no contact with either when I can help it though. A lot of friends ..even her sister who advised me not to date her have said I was lucky to have got out of it now instead of later. Also..yeah punching him felt good . I'll move on pretty quick I think...I know Im a tall good looking guy , I'm just too picky. when I start liking someone else I reckon it should wear away. Thanks again for the advice and music guys