PLEASE Help me win him back? Any experts here? Our relationship was messed up over m

[BriBrigirl08]

Hello all,
I really need some help here. My boyfriend who I have been with for a month is mad because he thinks I have been lying to him about cheating on him with exes. He seems to want to know the dirty laundry in my past which I admit; I haven�t been completely honest with him about. I believe that my past is my past, and the mistakes that I have made I have already paid for, and I will tell him about when the time is right and I know him better. Well, to make a long story short, he and I had a falling out and he pretty much said I am a liar and he wants to know who I really am. I swear to God that I am not cheating on him and I have had a rough past, which I am not comfortable talking about right now. If I tell him who I really am it needs to be the right time. He wants a serious relationship and so do I. I mean I probably want a serious relationship more than he does (even though he swears that is what he wants more than I do). The trouble is, he and I had a falling out and he is obviously upset at me now. We are not speaking right now and I feel that this matter can be taken care of with the right communication. How should I contact him, should I show up at his place with roses and beer all dressed up?? How do I tell him that I want a serious relationship and I want to be with just him and him only? How to I tell him that I have made bad mistakes in the past, but the past is the past and I have learned my lesson?

[MerryH]

You really shouldn't be bending over backward to show how sorry you are. You shouldn't even be sorry. He has no right to demand that you tell him things you're not comfortable talking about. You don't need to lie about things, just tell him you're not comfortable with it. Have you told him that?

But when you say things like "If I tell him who I really am," it sounds like you might be purposely misleading him. And are you two arguing about who wants a serious relationship more? That's really absurd.

He doesn't sound like a very nice boyfriend. It would probably be better if you let the "falling out" stand as it is.

[twinrexes]

It's natural for couples when they're first getting to know each other that they want to present themselves in the best possible light. We all wear masks to a certain degree until we feel it's safe to drop them.

Most people realize this, and a healthy partner will be patient enough to let you reveal "the real you" as timing, comfort level, and trust permit. And besides; when we air our dirty laundry right away we risk scaring off a potential partner who would have stuck around given a chance to get to know all our good qualities.

So what's this guy's rush? Is he looking for a guarantee that you're perfect before he jumps in with both feet? Trying to find an excuse to dump you before you can hurt him? Does he have trust issues, and you've given him just enough information to offer him "proof" that you can't be trusted?

More information here would help, but from what you've told us it sounds like he's jealous and insecure. Maybe best to let him sit and stew.

[Liam_680]

you just have to be honest with him.. learn to trust him and give him a chance to know you better. if he cant accept your past then its better off that you have said everything this early so as to not waste another day with a man who cant love you for who you are and look past what has been and focus more on what is to be..

[kkpppink]

dear friend....just give him more times to think and think....past is past....we need to keep on moving and never look back.....sit together and discuss with him nicely.....make him understand that you both need to focus for now relationship...not the past.....if he love,he will understand and think smart....