Curiosity - guys and female friends. Seriously?

[xTwinklex]

I have written another thread and although this is kidna related to my predicament it isn't directly. SO let's say you're female friends are pretty close to you. You really like them as friends, just that. (really? is this 100% POSSIBLE? because I find it hard to maintain male friends not because of my partner in general just more out of my own guilt. Hugging a male friend feels traitorous to me if I'm with someone :/)

So you're female friends maybe haven't openly confessed to liking you more than friends but your GF can see it, and you should most definately be able to see it. Do guys keep these kind of friends for their self satisfaction and attention? Do you seriously consider them "friends" rather than a risk? Because let's face it they are only hanging around to get into your knickers. I know it's situational but seriously, do guys think that they can keep interested girls purely as platonic material? I want honest answers plz! Women aren't perfect either, but hell, you males are so weird with your thought processes.

[speakerspoke]

Really? "Us males" are "really weird in our thought processes"?

Might I direct you to google ladder theory and all shall be revealed to you young wookie.

[Yet another guy]

You really like them as friends, just that. (really? is this 100% POSSIBLE?

Yes.

So you're female friends maybe haven't openly confessed to liking you more than friends but your GF can see it, and you should most definately be able to see it. Do guys keep these kind of friends for their self satisfaction and attention?

I wouldn't. I know how it feels to have feelings for someone who isn't interested and I wouldn't let someone have false hopes of having something she can't have. She would be better off if I let her go. And of course it wouldn't be fair to my hypothetical girlfriend that I would have in this scenario.

But how would I, or my girlfriend for that matter, know that she is interested if she isn't open about it?

[curly1118]

Y'know. Males are weird but that doesn't mean women aren't either. But I'll try to ignore the whole thought process thing and give you an answer.

To have a strictly platonic relationship without any hidden agendas? In theory, yes. In practice, mehhh unlikely but not impossible. The thing is, what it takes to be strictly "friends" is: A) both parties being gay or mutually uninteresting or B) both parties having the same specific principles or mindsets towards relationships, which is unfortunately very rare.

The reason real friendship is so rare between girls and guys is simply because most people wouldn't mind having a one night stand or a short term sexual relationship. And I'm not saying that's wrong, but it does make it very logical for them to be open to that or even chasing it with their friend of the opposite sex. The nature of any friendship depends entirely on the mindset of both individuals. So for instance if you're a girl you can't really separate the two and say "John is just my friend. He would bang everything that moves, but he's just my friend". Nnnnnnno -_-.

The thing is is that in the end friendship is a connection and not just something you have in your head. So it can only ever really work out if you're on the same page and have the same principles and values of what it means to be a friend. If not, your friendship might always be conditional or situational. If you ask me, that is simply not something you want to depend on.

I think as you get older and mature it becomes easier but as you are younger people want more than just friendship. Not to say that when you're older you do not. Just that it's more common when you're younger because of sex drives and what have you.

Hope this helped.

[xxazurexx]

I'm gonna look up that ladder theory. I've seen it before, but I could do with refreshing my mind.

[speakerspoke]

I'm gonna look up that ladder theory. I've seen it before, but I could do with refreshing my mind.

I wouldn't take it as the ultimate fact guide on every human being but it's pretty funny, and there is some truth on it to varying degrees. lol