Depressed, Confused, and dont know what to do.

[SelflessnHumble]

You're welcome
How do you end a relationship that's already over: you don't.
What I would do is talk to her shortly about your self realization (when and if you have one)

The thing is: she is not likely to know what she has done...Only she can do this for herself.
You cannot have closure IF you keep on feeling, "We'll see what happens." <-----This is an excuse to make yourself stay in limbo for her.

You need to take control. This means doing what is right, not what *feels* right.
If you didn't know: feelings LIE to us dude. Our hearts LIE to us all the time.
You never follow your heart: You lead it instead.

[Horseyguy]

How you going champ? Gone a bit quiet, hope you are ok

[DarkHelmet82]

Im doing real shitty dude... everyone I talk too tells me its a mistake to talk to her.. Why am I the only person who knows that this is something that I have to do. I just need answers.. they may never come but I dont think I have a choice.

[Darkest Heaven]

Because you're the only person who has the feelings for her. People only tell you its a mistake because of the toll it has been taking on you. You say it enough, now understand it, and with that understanding will come the point where you no longer want to put yourself through it.

PS: I've been keeping an eye on all of the replies and this thread, didn't have anything to add 'till this.

[DarkHelmet82]

if it were only that easy... I know time heals all wounds.. but it seems like time is moving slower than normal..

[Lloyd91]

As difficult as it is to do, I would give her space. I gave in when my ex and I split up about 3 weeks ago. For about 2 or 3 days I txt her and tried to make things right. Now she hates me and has accused me of stalking and harrassing her. I merely fought for the person I loved. It was the same with us though, just a few days before we were absolutely fantastic, next thing i know she is on the phone ending it. Turns out 3 weeks on she has a date on monday. SPACE. Its the key, she'll come for you when she is ready. As difficult as it is, time is a great healer. Our relationship was long distance, mistrust or insecurity is like poison. It interesting that Bi-polar came up - I have been wondering this for days... Chin up chuck.

[DarkHelmet82]

I am sorry to hear that dude... how long did you wait before contacting her? Wouldnt you agree that if I wait too long than she will just move on... some girls like to be chased no? You are right.. i dont want to scare her, but knowing her she will be too embarrased to contact me which is where my problem lies.
she hid the eating disorder from me, and obviously hid the way she feels from me as well.

[Ollie76]

"if it were only that easy... I know time heals all wounds.. but it seems like time is moving slower than normal.."


It sure does! Honestly, it's been 9 days of no contact with my EX and i feel fine. Way better than I did a few days ago. I was even thinking of cancelling the flowers on VDAY.

[DarkHelmet82]

its been 13 days for me (well we did have a couple txts for about a minute on tuesday but besides that nothing) and i feel like shit.. haha.. u really gonna cancel the flowers huh?

[Ollie76]

Nah, probably not but if don't get a response from her, I'm at the point where I don't give a shit. LOL

[DarkHelmet82]

thats good man.. thats what i need to do.. part of my problem is my ex will communicate with me.. in fact im sure she would even meet with me and talk about what the issues are... and thats what makes this so hard...

I think your ex will contact you...she may not say what you want to hear but if she didnt contact you at all she wasnt worth it....

[Horseyguy]

Hey DH it will get better, but you know that, right?

We have all had relationships fail before and got over them.

If you want to get back with her and you feel it's worth fighting for then I guess if you feel she wont make the first move the worst that can happen by trying is she rejects you and you are back to where you are now.

But if it's over and you don't want to be back with her and all you want is answers, personally I'd say leave it. Nothing really to be gained by doing that.

I'm sort of all over the place at the moment.

I know if I was to call her and try and sort this out there is a very good chance we would be together again, whether it would work again now is a different thing.

I have a real trust issue with her because of the way she just pushed me away like that. It's not pride, it's trust. I just can't help thinking she will do the same again next time she can't cope.

And I know a relationship with someone that unstable just isn't going to work.

And when I try and look forward I just don't see the longevity in the relationship anymore and that's the bit that really hurts me.

It's not that we are not together because I could fix that by calling her, going to see her. And we would get back together and I'd have that short term fix. I'd be with her and could hold her and love her again, but 6 Months, 1 year, 2 years whatever I know it will come crashing back down again, because deep down, I know she's not the one and that I can do a lot better and deserve a lot better and that's based on how she's treated me in these last few weeks.

I can't change who she is, it's sad, I love her but I just know it wont last

So you have to ask yourself why do you want to contact her and what can you gain by doing it?

Does it really matter who did what? who said what?

[DarkHelmet82]

well said man...

In response to your situation.. if you KNOW shes not the one than I dont see the point of getting back to her. YOu miss being with someone and you have built a re pour with her, but if you know deep down shes not the one its not worth your time.

In my situation I do need answers yes. I do also however feel this girl is the one. Its hard to explain.. have you ever had a feeling so deep down that you just wouldnt be able to live with yourself if you went against it. Even if EVERYONE is disagreeing with you. ITs hard to explain but I just feel like I need to talk to her. Yes i would love to get back with her, I also need answers too.

Like you said.. I have nothing to lose at this point except maybe get more information.

Like i said earlier "time heals all wounds." Well why am i getting worse everyday? Im genuinely scared

[SelflessnHumble]

well said man...

In response to your situation.. if you KNOW shes not the one than I dont see the point of getting back to her. YOu miss being with someone and you have built a re pour with her, but if you know deep down shes not the one its not worth your time.

In my situation I do need answers yes. I do also however feel this girl is the one. Its hard to explain.. have you ever had a feeling so deep down that you just wouldnt be able to live with yourself if you went against it. Even if EVERYONE is disagreeing with you. ITs hard to explain but I just feel like I need to talk to her. Yes i would love to get back with her, I also need answers too.

Like you said.. I have nothing to lose at this point except maybe get more information.

Like i said earlier "time heals all wounds." Well why am i getting worse everyday? Im genuinely scared

Completely incorrect DH.
Just watch, she might not even dignify your legit concerns with actual responses.
Then again: I don't hear you facing her directly face to face either. Texts don't work.
What are you waiting for?

[DarkHelmet82]

im going to talk to her face to face.. i did the first time this happened and was successful... i am waiting for after vday... u dont think i should wait?