Depressed, Confused, and dont know what to do.

[DarkHelmet82]

i dont want to make it seem like she didnt give me ANY reason... her reasons were..

"You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart..." and "I dont feel it like I did when we were first dating" When i asked her why the mixed signals she said/.. "I was trying to feel it because you are such a great guy." Thats why its confusing... because I honestly think she was making up a reason....She said similar stuff the first time, and I was able to figure out that she wanted to slow down.

It would make sense and I would even let it go if she wasnt all into me hours before it happened..

[red_sparrow]

maybe she didnt feel it... it happens.

[DarkHelmet82]

maybe she didnt feel it... it happens.

Thank you confucious for your insight... mayeb you should read the thread... thanks

[Horseyguy]

So DH, decided what your are going to do for Valentines?

I was suppose to be having dinner with mine tomorrow but I guess that's not happening now.

But I do want to either text her or call her, just don't know if that's a good idea or not, will make it worse or not.

Bit confused. I figure if I do nothing I risk her thinking I don't give a shit and if I do text / call she might take that as me not respecting her wanting some time.

I get the feeling, because she has been contacting me, that she needs us to be apart, as in me not seeing her, staying there, but she doesn't want me to be totally out of her life, as in going NC and just never contacting her

I was thinking of just sending a text saying something like. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you today, maybe not something full on like I love you and miss you, happy valentines

[SelflessnHumble]

So DH, decided what your are going to do for Valentines?

I was suppose to be having dinner with mine tomorrow but I guess that's not happening now.

But I do want to either text her or call her, just don't know if that's a good idea or not, will make it worse or not.

Bit confused. I figure if I do nothing I risk her thinking I don't give a shit and if I do text / call she might take that as me not respecting her wanting some time.

I get the feeling, because she has been contacting me, that she needs us to be apart, as in me not seeing her, staying there, but she doesn't want me to be totally out of her life, as in going NC and just never contacting her

I was thinking of just sending a text saying something like. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you today, maybe not something full on like I love you and miss you, happy valentines

You do what you think is right. My advice isn't there to make you do something you just aren't willing to.
Truth is: it doesn't matter. You are going to text her no matter what I or anyone says dude. You're lost in la la land with this girl.

[SelflessnHumble]

i dont want to make it seem like she didnt give me ANY reason... her reasons were..

"You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart..." and "I dont feel it like I did when we were first dating" When i asked her why the mixed signals she said/.. "I was trying to feel it because you are such a great guy." Thats why its confusing... because I honestly think she was making up a reason....She said similar stuff the first time, and I was able to figure out that she wanted to slow down.

It would make sense and I would even let it go if she wasnt all into me hours before it happened..

That is unfortunately still an excuse. (in bold) Women are great at faking shit.
2nd point: She obviously has never had a good guy before: so her wanting to force her feelings to like you make a lot of sense to me.
She is better off with the bad boy who treats her like shit: to her it's more up her alley. I've dated girls who told me I deserved better: and guess what? They were always right!

[DarkHelmet82]

I am not contacting her for valentines.. I am going to wait until the Wednesday after.. the 17th....

I wouldnt do anything.. If I were you I would wait... but Im having a hard time myself.... its easy for me to say when its not me doing it....

[Horseyguy]

You do what you think is right. My advice isn't there to make you do something you just aren't willing to.
Truth is: it doesn't matter. You are going to text her no matter what I or anyone says dude. You're lost in la la land with this girl.

Errr ... ermmmm .... Guilty

[Horseyguy]

I am not contacting her for valentines.. I am going to wait until the Wednesday after.. the 17th....

I wouldnt do anything.. If I were you I would wait... but Im having a hard time myself.... its easy for me to say when its not me doing it....

I just think she will be more upset if I don't contact her than she will be if I do.

But as Humble quite rightly says, I'm in la la land when it comes to her so who knows

[DarkHelmet82]

right but I think if I had treated her like shit we would be in the same situation we are now.. at least I think so.. I think it comes down to her not knowing what she wants..

Do I ask her? If so how do i do it without being an asshole


Also, Who fakes feeling for months.. a week or so Id get it but not for that long... I think she wants a good guy but doesnt know how to deal with having one.. Maybe because of her past?

.

[DarkHelmet82]

horseguy.. only you know her.. so do what you think she will respond best too.. do it because you know it not because you think it.

[SelflessnHumble]

I just think she will be more upset if I don't contact her than she will be if I do.

But as Humble quite rightly says, I'm in la la land when it comes to her so who knows

The thing is: YOU need to get to know yourself and find out who you are...You have yet to scratch the surface yet!
As for that girl: It's not about how she feels about contact: it's about how *you* feel.
If I have something to say: I'm not going to let my *perceived* insecurities regarding how I merely "think" she will react... F that shit.

[DarkHelmet82]

I have a feeling she wants me to contact her and wants me to beg her back.. This is something i wont do.. I will not beg.. if she comes to the realization that she ****ed up.. yeah ill take her back.. but if and only if she admits she ****ed up...

If she wants a "bad boy." I dont think im willing to do that.. but if thats the case is there a way I could find out thats what she wanted? but like i said earlier she knew what I was going into this... she did once say i need to be "i love you the way you are.. you just need to be more wild." Maybe she could sense I was trying to please her as opposed to just TOTALLY being myself.. dont get me wrong I wasnt her slave.. but i did things because i thought it made HER happy. She did kind of clarify and say I need to just be myself.. than she broke up with me 5 hours later.

[SelflessnHumble]

right but I think if I had treated her like shit we would be in the same situation we are now.. at least I think so.. I think it comes down to her not knowing what she wants..
Do I ask her? If so how do i do it without being an asshole
Also, Who fakes feeling for months.. a week or so Id get it but not for that long... I think she wants a good guy but doesnt know how to deal with having one.. Maybe because of her past?

Dude, you are just babbling about shit you don't even know about!
The advice: I've given you and yet you are still debating on what to say? Really?

Women, sociopaths, psychopaths, and people who aren't mentally well fake shit.
Or they could feel something, lie about it and call it "love" even act out love via affections, sex and anything else in between.

My real psycho ex: guess what she told me? Basically: she knew what men wanted and simply gave it to them.
My ex stayed with a guy for 4 years + and guess what? EVEN had a kid with this guy and still plotted his death, k?
Do you go up to a girl like this and ask her, "Maybe you just didn't know what you wanted?"

I've already told you many people don't have explanation for what they do.
Why don't you take some time to confront her: and then post back when you have some new info?
You can't sit here and speculate without finding out how she feels...and you can't do that by asking for a proofed script as to what to say.

Do it yourself and report back.

[DarkHelmet82]

what i meant was i cant just say.. "maybe if i was an ass you wouldnt have dumped me." I am not looking for a script, just advice.. I tend to fall in the habit of doubting myself.. I apologize. Thank you for your help.

I will talk to her and let you know what happens. thanks again