'Emotional' Questions

[Regnent]

Post null and void.

[vashti]

vasectomy?

(I am not trying to be funny.)

[smackie9]

Ya I agree with the the other poster about the Vasectomy. YOU can and should take some control over what happens in this relationship. I know what you are trying to avoid saying and you avoid saying anything to her, because you are one of those who disapproves of having all these kids. Having all those kids is no different than racking up thousands of dollars on credit cards, in other words you are living way beyond your means and you are letting her do it. For shame on you for now you suffer and as your kids get older they will suffer too from the money troubles, and your relationship breakdown. She needs to see how destructive a path she is taking with having all these kids. She may have an obsessive compulsive disorder. If you are familiar with this order you will know that these people are selfish with there obsession, her's being having kids. They tend to be oblivious to the strain it is putting on family members and those closest to them. What I'm hearing from you is that she will not hear it that having another kid is going to be a problem. It's time to put your foot down. Communication is the only way to work through this with her, if she refused to hear you out I suggest counseling.

[SelflessnHumble]

Well, any pregnancy where you have a new addition to a "family" should be met with positivity, happiness and overall content that you were indeed blessed to have another child...
HOWEVER, YOU CHOSE to PUT yourself (as did your wife) in the position to have SEVEN children, animals/pets and personal possessions ALL of which cost MONEY...

This issue is so very simple to solve: The both of you do NOT live in reality even though you are much more logical and pragmatic about legitimate concerns like finances.
Prudent planning, due diligence is common sense when having a family, even having a dog (with no children) is an extra expense. I have a cat I feed like a horse because he doesn't
eat poisonous kibble, he eats raw food, whole rotisserie chickens and choice top sirloin steaks, but he's worth it...

IF I can assume that having ONE child is a very big expense (let alone 7) and now expecting an 8th: Something IS wrong with both of you. (based on net income, housing and savings, of course)

(1) You aren't taking proper action nor responsibility for your potential future to have children, but you will have no issue having unprotected sex simply because you enjoy it.
(2) You do NOT communicate effectively, properly nor directly to the source: your woman...

Without communication: both of you will be miserable. It sounds as though she is the dominant one, and you are the passive aggressive one mumbling under your breath instead
of "man-ning" up and addressing the obviousness of the situation. Children need attention and affection and above all else: money!!!

Both of you are disconnected from togetherness and doing what is right proportionate to your current childrens' needs, and in lieu of your budgetary constraints YOU are able to see, but she does not.

It she really cared about what people think: Unless your combined income is more than $150,000.000 per year and your house note is *only* $2,500.00/month, then I would say both of you are irresponsible
parents based on your lack of control and poor decision making that has landed you having as many children as there are dwarfs in Show White.

Feeding your children McD's is a no no dude.
Necessity is priority #1 (your children's health, livelihood and security) not chairs, tables and shit you don't really need.

It's time you get your balls back and put your foot down.
Having children IS a sacrifice where you put both of your wants and needs 2nd to your children...

[smackie9]

I'm gonna go with insecure. Time to grow some.

[vashti]

hrm, and ok, an example of things I get to deal with on a regular basis.

You wouldn't have to deal with it on a regular basis if you ever actually listened. HAVE you considered taking charge of this situation? Things will not ever get better for you so long as you keep making more children. OF COURSE she can't spend any time thinking of herself, and you probably don't get to, either. You have too many kids for that luxury. I bet the older kids don't get enough time thinking of themselves, either.

You need to take charge.

[smackie9]

so that's two that say grow some.

[smackie9]

ok now make that 3 lol!

[MerryH]

I spent 2 hours making a bacon/seafood rice dish because she enjoyed the chicken rice dish the night before and mentioned that something with bacon would be awsome.
Great. Too bad not a day and a half later I'm getting shyte on for my history of being unemotional.

Oh, give me a break. How much mileage do you think you should get out of preparing a single dinner? It was a nice gesture that I hope was appreciated, but should she not have the right to bring up things that bother her because you made dinner days prior? Since you work, I'm going to assume that she is the one who usually prepares meals for seven kids. I just had to laugh when I read that part.

You couldn't have mustered even a little bit of fake happiness for her sake? It's got to kind of suck when your partner, while not exactly being negative about it, isn't happy like you are about a typically happy occasion (I guess. Seven kids is a lot.) If having children has become "same old" for you, then why keep doing it?

So, outside of, say that issue, what is it that women look at as emotional.. 'food' I guess from their partners?

Hard to answer, but to simplify it, I guess - I just like knowing that my partner tries to consider my feelings and that I can trust that he will be supportive. And just...I don't know, be on the same wavelength, if that makes sense.

[sweetkissesforu]

I agree with vashti really its just a snip away dont complain about the children if you cant man up and get yourself fixed

[RockNRoll]

I think, the above comments are great. It sounds almost like you are unaware where children come from. She wouldn't get them on her own.
You seem to be sensible and responsible regarding some things. Where was this attitude while having sex? You are equaly responsible and in this situation together.

Explain the situation about spendings and priorities and that it's a good proof that you care about kids and their future.
She might want your support and approval of her pregnancy.

[Boisdevie]

7 children? You must be ****ing mad both of you. Are there not enough people on this planet already? Get a vacectomy.

[vashti]

I like your last post, but I don't understand what advice you are looking for. Are you just wanting to vent?

[vashti]

I was the oldest girl in a family with 7 children, and therefore responsible for playing "mama" while my mother worked outside the home, so i can sort of relate. My advice is still the same.

[Gigabitch]

If you're not pleased about having yet more children, DO SOMETHING about it. You and your wife can't talk about this?