Attempt to get back with GF of 4.5 years

[MerryH]

She didn't react badly to the flowers, so it's possible that she's open to seeing you. Keep up the momentum. Ask her out within the next 24 hours for a nice date on Saturday or whenever. But do it soon.

[Ollie76]

Ha, I already did. I asked if she would like grab coffee or something this evening but she has class until 10:30pm (which I totally forgot). She thanked me for the invite but mentioned she had class. So, I just left her with "Oh yeah, that's right. Whenever you're available I guess, but only if you're up for it."

Now, i just found out that my best friends EX is consulting/comforting/supporting my EX through this whole thing. As a matter of fact, she is my goddaughter's mother and I wonder who's side she is on. LOL She just ended a 9 year relationship with my best friend (he cheated on her badly) and had a pretty hard time. She's all about "all men are jerks" shit.

[twinrexes]

Hmmm, I bet she's been talking to her female friend for a while about the two of you. Maybe the "all men are jerks" attitude had something to do with the breakup. You did say it was only a small fight, so clearly your ex was thinking about breaking it off already. So if the reason she gave is that you're not affectionate anymore, and she liked the roses, I believe some more romantic gestures could help. Show her friend that YOU aren't like your best friend. Who knows, maybe your ex's friend is even telling her that less affection was the first sign of trouble with her OWN ex, and she'd better get out before she really gets hurt. Women have these little heart-to-hearts a lot, and they have a lot of influence. It's kiinda like she's got a little person sitting on her shoulder, whispering in her ear all the time, "he's a jerk, dump him!" You need to be the other little person, whispering even louder in the other ear, "he's an angel, keep him!", and then give her plenty of reasons to believe that! How about following up the roses with a card or letter in which you list all the reasons you think she's wonderful. Be specific, personal, and very romantic.

[Ollie76]

I don't know, maybe the best thing is to go NC until she contacts me (which probably won't happen). It's just too hard to let go after 4.5 years. I think her response to my VDAY flowers was just her being civil and that she doesn't want me to think she hates me.